To want us not to wear shoes in the house?

[NCShoes]

As soon as I walk through the door, I take my shoes off and put slippers on. My partner on the other hand will wear shoes throughout the whole house, and doesn't really take them off until going to bed.

It drives me mad but if I mention anything it can turn into an argument and it's just me 'moaning'. But I hate the thought of walking around outside then walking through the house, on the carpet etc.

The carpet is only a couple of years old and is already looking a bit crap so we're going to get it cleaned but then I think 'what's the point when you're still going to be wearing shoes all around the house?'
Am I being a bit moany?

@TomorrowIsAnotherDae

Shoes off in my house. There is shit, piss, blood, puke, whatever, trod into the streets where I live - the thought of treading the remnants of all sorts of crap around my home makes me 🤢

Exactly. When I've said this, my partner will say 'are you becoming obsessed with germs or something?' Which I'm not. But there is all sorts on the floor outside. It's rank. And then being walked through the house.

@UhtredRagnarson

What about crocs? Would he wear crocs in the house? He won’t be tempted to wear them out to walk the dog…. Or would he?

Haha! Good idea!!

How about a compromise? Do what you like downstairs, shoes off for upstairs?

And he has to do all the floor cleaning downstairs!

I'm with you OP. I find it extremely disgusting to be walking inside the house with shoes on. Are you from the same culture? It could be a cultural clash or you're just cleaner than him (and just because the dogs feet carry in from outside, doesn't mean you should all add to it. Yuck!)

Hot pink or rainbow shoes, or whatever he will remember not to wear outside?

Being a west coast Canadian, shoes off is absolutely the rule. When family visit from England I am shocked when they leave shoes on. I couldn't stop looking at the shoes last time.

Shoes walk outside over so many gross things, why bring that in the house and onto your floors and carpets. Now that is something that I might call grim, unlike ensuites.

@laalaaland that sounds fair but it does seem like they differ on their standards of 'clean' so maybe it won't work

@Suzi888

YANBU I honestly don’t get it…. there’s piss, shit, blood, phlegm etc on the roads and pavements. My MIL partner walked dog poo all throughout her house last month. Your carpets will last longer, look better and it’s cleaner, if you remove your shoes. Carpets and shoes = dirty, if he refuses I’d get wooden flooring- which will still get dirty, but at least it’s easier to clean!

Oh god that sounds awful! Part of the house is wooden floor. But then all upstairs is a lovely light carpet that I want to stay clean.

We have inside shoes, such as DH has a pair of Birkenstock type sandals he only wears in the house.

@laalaaland

How about a compromise? Do what you like downstairs, shoes off for upstairs?

And he has to do all the floor cleaning downstairs!

We tried a similar compromise and agreed no shoes would be worn upstairs but they're now ignoring that and doing it anyway. I just don't get it.

@notsogreenthumb

I'm with you OP. I find it extremely disgusting to be walking inside the house with shoes on. Are you from the same culture? It could be a cultural clash or you're just cleaner than him (and just because the dogs feet carry in from outside, doesn't mean you should all add to it. Yuck!)

I agree about the dog thing. Doesn't mean we all need to do it. And we are from the same culture.

I couldn't live with someone who wears shoes in the house. It's unbelievably grim.

@LoveFall

Being a west coast Canadian, shoes off is absolutely the rule. When family visit from England I am shocked when they leave shoes on. I couldn't stop looking at the shoes last time.

Shoes walk outside over so many gross things, why bring that in the house and onto your floors and carpets. Now that is something that I might call grim, unlike ensuites.

That's how I feel. I focus on the shoes when people come in wearing them. It stresses me out. I will always take mine off when I go into someone's house.

@LoveFall

We have inside shoes, such as DH has a pair of Birkenstock type sandals he only wears in the house.

That's what's probably needed instead of slippers.

Yanbu. Shoes off.
It's not nice treading spit, poop and muck around the house. The house stays clean for longer because we never wear shoes inside.

@kowari

Hot pink or rainbow shoes, or whatever he will remember not to wear outside?

Ha! Good tip. I'll get looking!

I spent years living in E/SE Asia where you take your outdoor shoes off as a matter of course. It's not a discussion: to wear your outdoor shoes over the porchline would be seen as a massively rude and disrespectful 'fuck you'.

I took the habit home with me, and I quite like it (keeps the floors cleaner for longer, for one thing).

If you come into my house, you take your shoes off at the door. I keep a box of house shoes at the door which people are welcome to help themselves to, but I'm also okay with socks or bare feet.

@megletthesecond

Yanbu. Shoes off. It's not nice treading spit, poop and muck around the house. The house stays clean for longer because we never wear shoes inside.

Exactly. Carpets are expensive. Why wouldn't you want it to stay clean and last longer?

I grew up in a shoes on household with wall to wall fitted carpets. They were all FILTHY. In my house it's hard floors and no shoes.

YABU

We are shoes off. We have both house Crocs and house Birks. I think it's gross to wear your outside shoes all over your house.

You're not moany unless the tone of your voice is! You have a opinion. Some men interpret a woman expressing a different opinion to his as moaning.

Regarding shoes indoors. Yes it's dirty and not good for your feet either. And what's the purpose of carpets if you wear shoes indoors?

You are not moany OP, it’s your house not a public road or pigsty. Suzy888 described all possible issues perfectly. And what wrong with not being keen on germs? Imo it’s normal.
You need to sort this out before kids. It looks like you are going to have very different approaches to parenting.

In theory we have hard floors downstairs cos dog and kids. The reality is it's because DH. Also throws on sofas cos DH. I hate shoes on when you aren't going put again, it seems absolutely ridiculous to me. But DH feels he doesn't feel dresses without them.

Compromise. Hard floors (which I still rage about sometimes cos dried mud left for me to hoover is fucking disrespectful) downstairs. Carpets, and shoes off upstairs.

My friend has 2 dcs, young dcs, and.manages to keep pristine light cream carpets because 'shoes strictly off'. Fuck knows how she does it, even my upstairs needs cleaning every 6 months.

Perfectly reasonable to choose to not wear shoes indoors. Not reasonable to force that view onto others.

I wear shoes indoors sometimes. I have bare feet at the moment, as it’s warm. I haven’t ever come across anyone who insists on shoes being removed at the door in real life.