to feel embarrassed about my age?

[17june2021]

I turned 25 in March. I know that’s young in the grand scheme of life, but I feel embarrassed by it. Is it just in my head?

I feel like people treat me differently now. I was 23 when the pandemic began and to a certain extent my life was put on hold so I’m still in the same position I was then. I’m definitely still in the same mind frame as I didn’t get the normal transition from 23-25.

I rent with my friends in London and get comments like “at your age?” “Why don’t you live with your boyfriend?” “Why are you still renting?”

I got excited about the June 21 restrictions easement, and my colleagues were like I need to grow up as I’m too old for clubbing, concerts and festivals etc I’m not 18 anymore. I feel generally like I’m being looked down on for not wanting to get married and settle down immediately.

I keep seeing things like this online, essentially suggesting I’m hitting my best before date

There’s more too. I know I sound ridiculous as I’m healthy and alive and others don’t get that opportunity - but can’t help but feel insecure about my age.

25 is so young though! I spontaneously applied for a job on the otherside of the world at 25, quit my
job, dumped my boyfriend and off I went - because I didn't want to get caught up in career and relationship stuff so young.
I had my eldest child at 31 and that felt young (only one of my friends had a child). Had my youngest at 36 and felt vaguely more ready to be a parent! Mid-40s now and still think I should have done more fun things in my 20s (even though I did a lot ).

Enjoy it, have fun, ignore the killjoys.

@soonshimmie how lovely.

OP ignore comments like this, there are plenty of helpful and encouraging posts on here. I hope you start to feel better soon . Remember we all feel a bit lost sometimes and I certainly feel like I’m losing my 20s to this pandemic at times - but we have try to make the best of it and enjoy what we can!

Im 51, but i remember feeling "old" at 23 which i cant understand now, but i think it was that i had no identity outside of being very young and i was losing my "identity" as i aged. Ie, turned 24!

I’m twice your age. I go to festivals, concerts, have loads of fun. Life is just beginning for you. Have fun and forget the dullards you work with.

@PoliceDogWoof

Im 51, but i remember feeling "old" at 23 which i cant understand now, but i think it was that i had no identity outside of being very young and i was losing my "identity" as i aged. Ie, turned 24!

Yes this is exactly how I feel, like I can’t imagine myself being anything other than early 20s. Ageing feels bizarre

OP, I don't want to patronise you but at 25 you are still very young. I had the most fun of my life between the ages of 25-30, I travelled, I partied, I was single, I was a student! Everyone I knew was single and in flat shares.

Honestly in the nicest possible way, you are being ridiculous.

Never too old for concerts, festivals, music & fun !

Too old for concerts and festivals and having fun? Christ. You can either give up and be a miserable oddball who pretends to be 'old' and complains you can't do anything anymore, or you could just live your life and be happy.

What a nonsensical statement.

I'm actually quite angry that in 2021, dipshit misogynists with brains in the anal region are still successfully managing to ruin young women's confidence and, indeed, their experience of being young.

Have to admit I felt too old for clubbing by 25.

Now that I'm in my 30s I think how ridiculous I was to feel 'too old' for anything at 25.

I'm 31 lol.
However my mum always said anyone 21 to 23 she always sort of helped them abit more at work and understood silly mistakes. However as soon as they turned 25 that extra support went as she said they was old enough to know better lol. You aren't to old for drinking etc. But do you really want to be falling around night clubs with university freshers

Fuck people who say you are too old to go to clubs, festivals or whatever. 25 is very much still young and if you still want to do those things do them, if you don’t fine. I don’t remember any expectations at 25 (39 now) other than to enjoy myself which I did, mainly at gigs and festivals or our getting drunk. You only get one life, do what you want to do. Do not do what you think you should be doing or what other people think you should be doing.

Thank you all for replying - I’m glad I did make this thread as I’m already feeling a weight lifting off my shoulders.

Really appreciate all of you who posted lovely comments and advice, and those of you that could empathise. I’m glad I’m not the only one who felt/feels like this as it makes me feel less alone. There’s definitely a change between 23-25 but it’s not as stark as I thought.

As a 26year old I kind of get it but also... you're very young still. You've only been an adult for 7 years. It's just social media makes it seem like everyone's 21.

I live in London and my group of mates age 25 to 32 all still live in flat shares. Me and a couple of mates live with boyfriends but we're the minority. It's expensive here! They all also go clubbing, to festivals etc (or would be if allowed) and have a number booked!

I think the people you're speaking to are just weird...

We have decades in decades left all things willing!

Oh and I'm screwed if these are our best years.. I was expecting that to start at 30 😂

Might I advise you to stop following lunatics on twitter?
This x100. Plus read some feminist writers! Please don't let sexists on Twitter change your opinion of yourself. I don't usually do memes but this one is pretty good.

Yes, i clicked on the link in your OP @17June2021 and assumes a lot that may not be true. 1) that getting married young is every woman's goal. He thinks it ought to be?! But doesnt the evidence show single women are happirest? He also thinks he's the ambassador for all men! But not all men need to devalue women to feel good a out their inadequate self. He clearly cannot fathom it but some men might value shared perspectives, personality, balance equality.

I tune out what incels think. They are the worst type of man. Nobody wants an incel and that's why they're so angry.

Who on earth would ask a 25 year old why they're still renting in London?! I'd be astonished to find one who wasn't!

Also, don't let your standards be set by fucking misogynists on Twitter, that's exactly the response they want - getting women to throw themselves at shit men because they're scared they're 'past it' by some standard set by scumbags who think that they should manipulate women into being insecure enough to be with them.

Sheer lunacy. At 25 I didn’t know ANYONE who had got married, bought a property or had kids.

Yes, i had one friend who got married at 23 but in some circles, she was the one who felt a bit awkward admitting that!

Well, that is the reason that getting older turns out to be not as bad as young people think it's going to be. It's very common that young people dont have the maturity that comes with age!

I only have a bit of maturity now because ive learned all the lessons the hard way.

Impossible for me to judge a young person for not being mature.

I’m not going to laugh because I felt like this at 25. I remember it clearly. My best friends had bought houses and moved in with boyfriends. I was single and back living at home.

Most of those friends are divorced or unhappy. I’m not pleased about that, just saying that it wasn’t the end of the story or as rosy a future as I imagined for them.

And in my mid forties now I can see that at 25 life has hardly started, you can do and be whatever you want.

Don’t stress OP. Best thing you can do is not waste time worrying about others think. That’s what I wish I could tell my 25 year old self. Do the things you want to do. Travel, do stuff, come out (in my case!), study for the sake of it. Go to your gigs and parties.