to feel embarrassed about my age?

[17june2021]

I turned 25 in March. I know that’s young in the grand scheme of life, but I feel embarrassed by it. Is it just in my head?

I feel like people treat me differently now. I was 23 when the pandemic began and to a certain extent my life was put on hold so I’m still in the same position I was then. I’m definitely still in the same mind frame as I didn’t get the normal transition from 23-25.

I rent with my friends in London and get comments like “at your age?” “Why don’t you live with your boyfriend?” “Why are you still renting?”

I got excited about the June 21 restrictions easement, and my colleagues were like I need to grow up as I’m too old for clubbing, concerts and festivals etc I’m not 18 anymore. I feel generally like I’m being looked down on for not wanting to get married and settle down immediately.

I keep seeing things like this online, essentially suggesting I’m hitting my best before date

There’s more too. I know I sound ridiculous as I’m healthy and alive and others don’t get that opportunity - but can’t help but feel insecure about my age.

I can remember (just!) turning 25 and thinking it was time to stop wearing short skirts.

Maybe 25 feels like "proper adult" territory because you're no longer in the teens and early twenties bracket. But even at the ripe old age of 25 you are still SO young.

You should just enjoy yourself and learn to ignore what others are saying. It's none of their business. And definitely unfollow that awful Twitter account. Complete horseshit.

Remember Friends? The TV show? They were supposed to be 26 at the start and none of them had remotely got their lives together. Well, I suppose Ross did until his wife came out as a lesbian. But still. And that was the 90s. You're definitely not past your best years. People just say that. I mean god, there are people who say your teenage years are the best years and they must be on another planet from me bc my teenage years were horrific. Enjoy the rest of your twenties. We are still so young.

I thin for me 30 was the worst age, no longer in my 20’s, felt I was a proper grown up and could no longer do silly things 🤣. I wish I was 30 again (I’m 40 next year), I still haven’t grown up though.

Also a lot of these comments are coming from people in older generations or people that live in my hometown (where it’s easier to get on the housing ladder so renting with friends is an asinine concept)

I’m a lot older than you, OP and for some reason my 25th birthday hit me really hard. I don’t know if it was the quarter century thing or what but I do get it. Fortunately it passes and you get over yourself. Now I’m so envious of you, I’d love to be 25 again (and know what I know now)!

Did you see the reply to their own tweet @17june2021? They posted something deliberately inflammatory to get views and followers. It’s bait, don’t consume it.

Jeez, 23 is so so young. You act carefree, have fun and enjoy your youth.

Stop worrying and enjoy your youth!

Sorry 25 not 23

The great thing about being old (50) is that you don’t worry about nonsense like this anymore.

I moved out of the family home at 24 and into a flatshare - so only a year younger than you - and met my boyfriend (now husband) at 25. All quite normal. Whoever is telling you otherwise is crazy! You are very young. I'm 31 now and am definitely still very much a young lady. There is no 'set' time or way to do things (although the exception to that is having children which obviously has a biological factor to it).

I don’t follow that account no, it just got retweeted on my timeline. That was just an example, I’ve noticed other things in the same vein too

Aw sweetheart, one day you will look back at this and chuckle at your young self.

I’ve just turned 40 and honestly I’ve never been happier, more settled, more confident. I may not be as slim as I was at 25, but I am definitely more comfortable with my looks.

At 25 I still hadn’t met my DH. By 31 I had 2 kids.

Enjoy your 20s

@17june2021

What's a normal transition from 23-25

Well just a gradual transition between life stages, instead of almost a time skip that the pandemic brought. For example the natural transition I had between 18-20 or 21-23.

During the pandemic my industry collapsed (events/travel) so I was made redundant/unemployed then had to change careers & take a pay cut - live on the breadline essentially. All the things I generally do to relieve stress weren’t allowed and it was depressing. As a result I feel like my life was placed on hold/regressed.

I am an extrovert so being stuck in a small flat for ~18 months was taxing and I think it will still take more time for me to mentally snap back.

The comments about my age just hit hard because I didn’t really see out 23 or 24 and now I’m 25. Almost feel like I wasted my “best years”. Though obviously there’s nothing I can do about it so I shouldn’t let it impact me.

What? There is no normal transition between ages, we all age differently. Some people are very mature by 23, some are still not there by 43.

The pandemic has been shit shit shit for everyone, but it has not deprived you of a chance to mature.

What I suggest is you stop following awful twitter accounts that are posting things designed to depress you, and start focusing on what makes you happy now, today.

If you are stressing about being 25 then how stressed out are you going to be about turning 40/50/60 etc?

In the nicest possible way, being self conscious about being 25 sounds completely mental to anyone significantly older than you. I am 42 and I wish I was 25 again, it is soooo young. Don't waste your youth imagining you are past it when you are actually in your prime, that is nuts. You will look back and kick yourself.

I am about your age with a husband, house and a child. Trust me you are still young, you have plenty of years ahead of you to ‘settle down’, or not, if you don’t want to.

There is no book or timeline on life so just do whatever you want - you’re not hurting anyone!

@PracticingPerson I understand your sentiment but it’s hard to focus on what makes me happy now, today, when some of those aspects are banned with COVID. The airline I worked for for doesn’t even exist any more so my old job which make me incredibly happy is gone etc.

@BigSandyBalls2015

Well I still love concerts and festivals and I’m 53 🤷🏼‍♀️. Your colleagues sound dull!

Ditto. From my perspective (I'm also 53) 25 is no age at all. I wish I was 25 again and doing all the stuff like clubbing that I really am too old for now, but miss, not that I'd have the stamina now. smiles wistfully

I do remember that when I was 25, a lot of my peers were behaving like young fogeys, not wanting to do anything without their boyfriends/husbands and telling me I should have 'grown out' of clubbing etc by then, so I can relate, but honestly, 25 is nothing ... you have so many years ahead of you, and you get to spend them in whatever way you (not your peers) choose.

You're probably right that the time 'lost' to the pandemic isn't helping, but you have plenty of time to make up for it. And re that tweet - we're all different, but personally I find these statements laughable and you should take no notice. I was no way ready to settle down by 25, and didn't get married till 35.

Take no notice OP, seriously. Be you and do what feels right for you.

YABU but I think many people feel a bit like this at 25. Even in just 5 years time when you turn 30 you realise how bonkers it was to feel that way.

I got married when I was 23 ..was middle aged and well mortgaged by 25 .
I am now 54 and am "younger "than I have ever been .
Then again ,I feel for you as I didn't have any online rubbish to look at ,convincing me that everyone was having a better life than me .
Age is just a number ,live your life and enjoy yourself !

In the kindest possible way, fuck that shit!

One of the greatest joys about getting older is you care much, much, much less about what everyone else thinks and just live your life. Which is why older people like me realise youth is wasted in the young.

So let them do them and you do you. Fuck what everyone else thinks.

Besides, you do realise that there are many other 25 year olds out there in the world...

Also ,very sorry about your job -it's rubbish .
It can be very hard when you are in the middle of things to see a way forward ,but keep moving on and try new things .
One day you may look back and see a setback as an opportunity .

Keep an eye out for the people who build you up, not tear you down. And you can be someone who builds other people up too!
Take no notice of that sort of rubbish. We're all different and we all live our lives at different paces. You'll be ok

I didn’t get the normal transition from 23-25

I didn't get the 'normal' transition from 48-50.

My mate didn't. get the 'normal' transition from 47-49.

My DD didn't get the normal transition from 11-13...

Do you see where I'm going with this?