to feel embarrassed about my age?

[17june2021]

I turned 25 in March. I know that’s young in the grand scheme of life, but I feel embarrassed by it. Is it just in my head?

I feel like people treat me differently now. I was 23 when the pandemic began and to a certain extent my life was put on hold so I’m still in the same position I was then. I’m definitely still in the same mind frame as I didn’t get the normal transition from 23-25.

I rent with my friends in London and get comments like “at your age?” “Why don’t you live with your boyfriend?” “Why are you still renting?”

I got excited about the June 21 restrictions easement, and my colleagues were like I need to grow up as I’m too old for clubbing, concerts and festivals etc I’m not 18 anymore. I feel generally like I’m being looked down on for not wanting to get married and settle down immediately.

I keep seeing things like this online, essentially suggesting I’m hitting my best before date

There’s more too. I know I sound ridiculous as I’m healthy and alive and others don’t get that opportunity - but can’t help but feel insecure about my age.

[Frauhubert]

Huh? I went to Ibiza for the first time in my life when I was 31, to all the super clubs, beach clubs and parties where people partied like there was no tomorrow. I felt pretty young amongst the crowd

[Hufflepuffsunite]

25 is young! Plenty of time for settling down and buying a house and so on. As for that tweet- absolutely there are some men who think like this. However, they are 100% the type of man you should avoid and, luckily, the older you get the easier that is as they are usually found following teenage models on Instagram and setting their preferred age range to 18-21 on dating apps even when they themselves are in their 50s with a receding hairline and beer belly. I know two women who married in their 60s in the last couple of years. Your love life doesn't have an expiration date!

[ChaToilLeam]

I’m twice your age and am really looking forward to seeing my friend’s death metal band play next month. I don’t own my flat. I’m not married. What would your colleagues think of that? Thankfully, I’m old enough not to give a fuck. You should be too. It’s your life to live, whether that means partying every night or settling down in your 20s or something inbetween.

As for that tweet, there’s a reason dodgy incel twats say that women are over the hill at 25. That’s because older women can see RIGHT through them. They particularly hate older feminists because we’re not bothered about the opinions of dickheads like that.

[sansucre]

Seriously OP, get a grip. You're 25, you're most certainly not past it, and you still have the best years ahead of you.

I'm 45 and in the prime of life. I'm glad my 20s (and my 30s for that matter), are behind me.

[SappysCurry]

So it’s okay for the Rolling Stones, def leppard, AC/DC, Metallica ….(you get the idea)
To be over 25 as long as the audience isn’t ??

Sigh….

[Ijustknowitstimetogo]

OP quite a lot of people your age are feeling like this. I have a family member your age that says exactly the same. The last year didn’t count, just reset.
In the grand scheme of things 2 years is nothing. Your best years are still to come. You’ll have to trust us on that one.

[Rosewood017]

That Tweet was written to infuriate, grab attention and gain followers to sell something!

I have a suggestion, why not bookmark your post. Set yourself a reminder to read it back in 10 years and post to let us know on what level of the 'shaking my head' scale you reached.

For what it's worth, one of my favourite ages was 27! Not sure the 27 club would agree.

[User1110]

‘Why are you still renting?’

Wtf. Who asks that? hmm I live in London (am 26) and everyone I know is renting/doing a flat share. I think it’s very rude to ask such questions and to be honest for most 25 year olds, buying is not an option unless you are mega wealthy or have parents that can help.

Same re boyfriend question, how ridiculous. I have plenty of single friends and they aren’t looking to settle down yet. They’re having fun and basically doing what they want with no ties. I also have friends outside of London who are engaged, bought a house, puppies, pregnant, babies. Everyone is different and at different stages and it’s a funny age - some are settling, some live at home, some are still at uni etc.

Are your colleagues older than you? The fact they said you’re not 18 anymore is ridiculous - are you not allowed to have fun past a certain age? To be honest they sound a bit jealous to me. You go out and enjoy yourself how you wish (now and once restrictions are eased!). You can go to festivals and go drinking at any age, if that’s what you enjoy They’re only work colleagues and what you do in your private life has absolutely nothing to do with them and their opinions are irrelevant!

Do NOT settle down and have children (if you even want to) as fast as you can just because society tells you too.

To put this into context, I have 0 plans to get married any time soon, not even sure I want children. I’m just enjoying myself, hope to travel more once we can. I do put money aside every month to save for a house - my aim is to buy before I’m 30 if possible! Xx

[MozambiqueHere]

I rent with my friends in London and get comments like “at your age?” “Why don’t you live with your boyfriend?” “Why are you still renting?”

Who from???? London property prices are so high and housesharing so common that I don't know a single Londoner who would respond that way to a 25-year-old housesharing.

[TroublesomeTrucks]

I went back to university at 24 for 4 years and broke up with my live in boyfriend. I spent those years doing all the stereotypical things students do, which I hadn't done first time round. I shared with friends until I was 28. Met my now husband at 27 and married at 34. He's now 52 and we still go to gigs and festivals together. I had my first at 29 and was by far the youngest of all my friends.

[lap90]

Goodness.

Stop following twitter accounts like that.

I have stumbled across twitter accounts like that myself, people like 'the transformed wife', who acts like any woman who isn't married with babies in their 20s, doesn't choose to be a SAHM and identifies as a feminist is going to hell.

I find accounts like these all so completely ridiculous.

[shetlandponies]

I'm 41 and I am HOT and fucking awesome! Am I old? Some would say yes, some would say no. Do I give a fuck either way? NOPE

When I turned 25 I was a bit down about it as well which was crazy, but i do get it. It's like you are no longer very young ie in the teen to early 20s category. If that makes sense ! For me it was just that I was not where I wanted to be. I did not have my shit together at all. was engaged to a nob, still renting, I also hated my job.

I now have 3dc, own a home and have two businesses. One of which I only recently started at the age of 41. And equally importantly I am more content and have way more confidence than I was/did at 25.

I do feel for you though losing your job and missing out on stuff over the last year or so, the covid measures have been so so shit for people x

[hellosally]

i really feel for you, OP. I think the ones saying you should be settled and not renting and in a serious relationship are projecting their insecurities onto you and for some reason its hitting a raw nerve for you.
in reality a lot of them will be feeling tied down, probably settling for someone they dont want for fear of being single, and will be posting here in their 40s saying they didnt have any life experience, going through divorce etc.
live life at your own pace and when you are ready. listen to your inner voice and surround yourself with less negative judgemental people too to water it all down, and enjoy yourself if/when you can. I think that quarter of a century age is a real landmark when you do reassess whats gone and whats ahead.I felt that too

[DrSbaitso]

@17june2021

I turned 25 in March. I know that’s young in the grand scheme of life, but I feel embarrassed by it. Is it just in my head?

I feel like people treat me differently now. I was 23 when the pandemic began and to a certain extent my life was put on hold so I’m still in the same position I was then. I’m definitely still in the same mind frame as I didn’t get the normal transition from 23-25.

I rent with my friends in London and get comments like “at your age?” “Why don’t you live with your boyfriend?” “Why are you still renting?”

I got excited about the June 21 restrictions easement, and my colleagues were like I need to grow up as I’m too old for clubbing, concerts and festivals etc I’m not 18 anymore. I feel generally like I’m being looked down on for not wanting to get married and settle down immediately.

I keep seeing things like this online, essentially suggesting I’m hitting my best before date

There’s more too. I know I sound ridiculous as I’m healthy and alive and others don’t get that opportunity - but can’t help but feel insecure about my age.

Fuck's sake, OP, that's just a goady tweet designed to wind everyone up and get exposure for a shit book. Twitter itself may be relatively new but men have been pulling that same shit for much longer than you've been alive. Please tell me you're not going to fall for that shite.

[OhTheTastyNuts]

I feel like I'm just coming into my prime at 42!

I was still renting with friends at 25 and having a brilliant time. I wasn't in a relationship.

That Twitter post is clearly just a load of goady bollocks.

Live life to your own schedule OP.

[whatcangowrong]

Enjoy your wonderful youth for goodness sake!!

I was saying only the other day how glad I am I didn’t settle down too soon. I got together with my husband at 33, married 35, baby should have been 36 but due to infertility was 37, now trying for no 2. Fertility is the only thing you need to be a bit aware of btw.

I am SO glad I spent my 20s and early 30s having a bloody good time. As long as you also work and progress your career somewhat you’ll be grand.

My only regret is that it took me a while to get my head around personal finances and not frittering my money. Now I have an ISA, pension and I buy everything in the sale or on eBay. Could have started all that a bit sooner and would be better off now.

[AtomHeartMotherOfGod]

I think you're the same at 20 as forever, to a large extent. Maybe you'll temper a little, and physically things will change of course, but your personality and likes remain broadly similar.

Try to move on from these unhelpful comments. I met my DH about age 30 and we had two DCs when I was in my early/mid 30s.

[DrSbaitso]

@AtomHeartMotherOfGod

I think you're the same at 20 as forever, to a large extent. Maybe you'll temper a little, and physically things will change of course, but your personality and likes remain broadly similar.

Try to move on from these unhelpful comments. I met my DH about age 30 and we had two DCs when I was in my early/mid 30s.

Oh no. My 20 year old self wouldn't recognise me. Mid to late 20s were an enormous game changer.

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

Oh blimey OP you are really over thinking shit.

I didn’t get the normal transition from 23-25.

Honestly you can't make it up. Get out and live a little you are only 25.

[MozambiqueHere]

Oh no. My 20 year old self wouldn't recognise me. Mid to late 20s were an enormous game changer

Me too. I was a completely different person at 30 to 20. Completely different.

[Feather12]

I get it OP. I think 25 is in some ways a magical age where we become grown ups (Whereas 23 is still just a teenager really,) except the truth is we really don’t become grown up. I was still dicking around in my late twenties, not knowing what I wanted. I think you have had it really hard in this pandemic with your job and having your normal early twenties lifestyle curtailed. The good news is that we never really stop reinventing ourselves (especially women). I did not really feel like I knew what I was doing until my mid 30s and my kids were in secondary school! Since then I have got a post grad degree and an amazing career, so I think this is only a hiccup in the grand scheme of your life. Hope things get better for you soon.

[Sienna7657]

OP. Honestly I'm 25 myself and I feel the same. I have no career after graduating. Just kids. I feel pathetic and unaccomplished

[Slayduggee]

I just finished my masters at 23 and got my first proper jobs after loads of temp jobs at 24 and I lived in a tiny bedsit.

I had quite a few friends who left school at 16 and had bought a house with their boyfriend by 24 but I had to remind myself that they had been working and saving for a house deposit whilst I had been at uni.

I bought my first house at 35, got married at 36, had my daughter at 47 and my son at 40. There is no rush for you to settle down and find a man and have babies and buy a house!

[Mochatatts]

What a load of crap. I met my now ex husband at 22, first child at 27, second at 29. We got married when I was 33. Divorced last year after being separated for 3 years. Don't let anyone else give you a timeline for your life.
I still love clubbing, when it's allowed. Just had my daughter in February and turning 40 this year. Got pregnant first try, straightforward pregnancy and homebirth. All completely normal. Stay off the internet, try not to compare your life to others.
You've loads and loads of time to do as you please. Travel, explore different hobbies. Because if you settle down and have children it becomes a whole lot harder to do the things you want, when you want.

[Nightfeedwatcher]

Amen!