to feel embarrassed about my age?

[17june2021]

I turned 25 in March. I know that’s young in the grand scheme of life, but I feel embarrassed by it. Is it just in my head?

I feel like people treat me differently now. I was 23 when the pandemic began and to a certain extent my life was put on hold so I’m still in the same position I was then. I’m definitely still in the same mind frame as I didn’t get the normal transition from 23-25.

I rent with my friends in London and get comments like “at your age?” “Why don’t you live with your boyfriend?” “Why are you still renting?”

I got excited about the June 21 restrictions easement, and my colleagues were like I need to grow up as I’m too old for clubbing, concerts and festivals etc I’m not 18 anymore. I feel generally like I’m being looked down on for not wanting to get married and settle down immediately.

I keep seeing things like this online, essentially suggesting I’m hitting my best before date

There’s more too. I know I sound ridiculous as I’m healthy and alive and others don’t get that opportunity - but can’t help but feel insecure about my age.

Blimey, YABU

Just do what you want and enjoy yourself.

OP we can feel insecure about ourselves at any age. There is no pre-determined age that anyone "should" be doing anything.
I was married at 20, widowed at 26, homeless at 33, become a mother at 38, started a business at 46.
Work on loving yourself.

There is no transition between 23 - 25. Having said that, I do understand where you are coming from. I remember my 25th birthday and remember feeling old. I was no longer in my early 20s, but in my mid 20s and heading for late 20s. Nothing changed, but psychologically it seemed a big deal at the time.

It seemed as though 18 was a million miles in the past. As you get older you will realise age increases quicker. 10 years ago seems like a blink of an eye to me now, yet between 15 and 25 it seems a huge gulf.

As for fertility? I had miscarriage after miscarriage when I was in my late teens, I never thought I'd get pregnant and was diagnosed with PCOS. I fell pregnant successfully when I was 21.

I then fell pregnant easily at 39 and again at 41, so that tweet is horseshit.

Yabu to feel.embarrased about your age, but i do understand what you mean, at 23 you are still considered very young just leaving uni etc by 25 adulthood is beckoning!
Youve had a tough couple of years and im sorry about your job be kind to yourself 25 isnt old, ignore people who.make ridiculous judgements, and give yourself a break many are still living at home at your age .
The older you get the less you will care about stuff like this and you will realise 25 was really very young but at the moment I get to you 25 feels old as its the oldest youve ever been!

Eww that tweet has real ‘manosphere’ ‘red pill’ ‘incel’ vibes to it, pay no attention

The comments about my age just hit hard because I didn’t really see out 23 or 24 and now I’m 25. Almost feel like I wasted my “best years”. Though obviously there’s nothing I can do about it so I shouldn’t let it impact me.

But you got your GCSEs and your college years. You had your university experience. I feel sorry for these people and younger. Imagine this being your 3rd and 4th year of life, poor mites.

I'm shocked so many people are telling you what you should be doing! You shouldn't be made to feel like you have to follow society's unwritten rules, suvk as 'married by X date', 'own home by X date', 'lifelong career plan by X date' etc. Just live life. Be happy.

You're a baby still!

I'm 51 and I'm still fabulous, thank you.

Stop following idiots on twitter.

I remember having the P taken when I was 25 by colleagues only a few years younger. They were really just having banter with me. One day you’ll look back and laugh at your younger self. I can totally empathise that you feel you have lost time over the pandemic, I expect many young people feel the same,

Really, 25 is young. Very young from where I’m standing.

Sounds like you're having a quarter life crisis. I had one at 25 and had all the same thoughts as you, felt like a failure and like I hadn't achieved anything. I got over it by 27-28. In 32 now and couldn't give a fuck about all those supposed markers of success. I'm just enjoying my life. Hang in there OP, it will get better x

I didn’t get the normal transition from 23-25.

Crap. I wish someone had told me about the 23-25 transition. I'm 40+ and still waiting for it.

I’ve just turned 25 too and I’m feeling the same way. I know I’ve accomplished a lot (academically, professional, overcome trauma etc), but I still feel pressured to excel in my career and have DC. I don’t have any yet, but people have started asking me.

I’m worried that the government won’t lift restrictions on society this year and will keep dangling the carrot. I’m worried that I will lose out on my 20s and any further accomplishments and experiences will continue to be put on hold.

Your colleagues are weird. I'm 30 have owned a house but now renting out of choice whist waiting to buy another house.
I loved being 25 enjoy it regardless still plenty to do out there even if it's covid life right now!
Ignore the colleagues and get out and do whatever you want to do not what's 'expected' of you from anyone else

25 ,35,45,55 they are all too young to be old and too old to be young. IYKWIM
Years ago I remember listening to someone on sky news describing a 29 year old as youngish and thinking WTF , I was 28 at that time and still feeling and looking young but that comment made me feel old,
Just do what you really want to do, you only have one life.

Internalised misogyny :-/
You dont owe it to men to be "nubile"
Sorry if that offends some people, i dont know how exactly to express that.

@17june2021

Yes there’s so much pressure for people my age to buy a house and have massive savings. I barely cover my living expenses let alone have a deposit!

From whom?

25 and owning a home sounds incredibly rare.

I cried on my 24th birthday and felt similar to you. At 30 it was like a weight lifted and I simply didn’t care any more. I’m now 39 and and look better than I did in my 20s.

25.... I was still a student at 25 (well, I was doing a post-grad degree abroad, I graduated at 26) , having a lot of fun, travelling, having adventures, making friends, meeting people, falling in love, having my heart broken (fortunately it didn't last too long ), going to gigs, enjoying it all before even having to settle down and think about important jobs, flats, mortgages, partner, children, bills etc

... 10 years later I had the house, the partner, the child, the job, the bills, the whole lot. So enjoy these days, you are still so young! (and yes, I am almost double this age and I still go to gigs, one is never old for that)

Judging by the Twitter link on your post I am not convinced you aren't a total wind up merchant here to stir up the shit.

What a load of bollocks !!
Try being 70 !.
Seriously though you obviously have too much time on your hands and waste it on social media.Why would you take the advice of these idiots.Get out of the virtual world and out into the real one.world

YANBU. People like to judge and have an opinion on anything and everything. Just ignore them and do what you enjoy.

OP, couple points:

• You're female. No matter what you do, somebody is going to have an opinion and they'll have no fear of giving it to you.

• You've had a lot of upheaval in the last year or so with the collapse of your industry etc and a lot of your de-stressing mechanisms unavailable. You've literally had the rug pulled from under you so to feel untethered is normal.

• Your colleagues are boring AF and I would stop consulting people you met as a matter of coincidence of your circumstance have any opinions on your life choices. You didn't choose to have them in your life. So why choose to have their opinions.

• 18 months is a long time but in the grand scheme of life, it's the blink of an eye. You will not be stuck in this cycle forever.

• If you're looking for a pink coat, you'll probably find a pink coat. If you're looking for glaring signs that you're "past your peak" (like that Twitter post that I hope is sarcasm) then you'll find it.

Everything is going to be fine.

Yea it's in your head! Kindle meant but you and your colleagues (where on earth do you work?) need to grow up!

This is ludicrous!

I'm twice your age! Until health prevented (disability and pain mainly) I was still going clubbing, gigs, concerts, having loads of fun!

If anything I did things "in reverse" as with hindsight, stupidly I was married at your age, well even younger, and I spent my 20's living like a flipping pensioner with the most boring man! Until he cheated! Devastating at the time but once I had got through the divorce I went back to uni! Had a whale of a time! And after that I continued having fun until my disability made it too difficult.

My advice to you would normally be to get out and live life but it's so hard at the moment with covid. Best thing to do in your 20's normally I think? Travel! Widen your horizons!

Certainly what you can do is meet and socialise/mix/communicate with people of all ages and backgrounds NOT just these idiot colleagues!

My friends when I was 25 were mostly still single, living in house shares, working nmw jobs and travelling, clubbing, gigging, dating...

I should have been doing the same

My clubbing days are behind me but when I am able I will definitely be going to bars with great live music, gigs & concerts, comedy clubs, travelling (when COVID finally allows) and catching up with friends and family who live across the globe!

Also a lot of these comments are coming from people in older generations. Are you sure it's not sarcasm or jealousy?

but people have started asking me.

Ffs I'd be tempted to say something like "and what would you like to tell me about YOUR sex life?!" None of their damn business rude arses!

You're over thinking it. 23 and 25 is the exact same.

Your colleagues are weird. Clubbing and festivals are for everyone and you're definitely not too old at
Your age.

It is completely normal to rent with friends at 25... especially in London where people settle down later. Some people haven't even moved out at that age. Anyway don't give it another thought x