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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really hate DH working from home?

232 replies

manysummersago · 15/06/2021 18:01

I’m sure I’m not the only one struggling with this.

He is sat in the dining room 830-6 every weekday. He seems to take more space than he actually does.

I hate feeling that he’s listening to everything I do and say. It just feels like I can never just be!

OP posts:
socalledfriend · 15/06/2021 18:02

Why are you in the house all day? Do you also wfh?

It's hard to say if YABU without more info really......

Aprilx · 15/06/2021 18:04

I also don’t understand. What are you sitting in the dining room if that is the room he works in? Are you also working in there?

Original poster
manysummersago · 15/06/2021 18:06

I don’t think I said I was in the house all day, or that I was sat in the dining room, but I can’t be out or sit in the bedroom all the time!

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 15/06/2021 18:08

As long as the dining room can be closed off to the rest of the house (ie it's not a through room), then I dont see the problem?

missmopple · 15/06/2021 18:08

Is your dining room also your living room then?

Original poster
manysummersago · 15/06/2021 18:09

The problem is that I never have the house to myself. But never mind.

OP posts:
Original poster
manysummersago · 15/06/2021 18:10

@missmopple

Is your dining room also your living room then?
Yes, why? Open plan.
OP posts:
JassyRadlett · 15/06/2021 18:10

I think it’s understandable when you’re used to having the place to yourself to wish you had it to yourself again.

Do you have anywhere else you could squeeze a small desk? DH and I have both fully been working from home during the pandemic but I’ll admit I found the time DH was working in the dining room annoying. He now has a desk in a corner of a different room that can be closed off and isn’t as ‘communal’ - I know you’ve probably looked at all options but I’ve got mine in our bedroom which again leaves the communal spaces free.

MilduraS · 15/06/2021 18:11

I enjoy working from home with DH most of the time. There are a few occasions when it starts to grate (usually when somethings going wrong and he's swearing at the computer) but generally it's quite nice to see him during the daytime. It might be different because we work in separate rooms upstairs so the main living areas are free!

TheApprentice · 15/06/2021 18:11

I hear you! I work part time and like having the house to myself on my days off so that I can clean or whatever in peace. It's not the same with dh there all the time!

Hobbitfeet32 · 15/06/2021 18:11

Does he never go out in the evening or weekends?

converseandjeans · 15/06/2021 18:11

YANBU but it's not ideal for either of you. Do you have anywhere else he can work? If it's long term then you probably need to rethink where he is working.

He's working long hours - what do you usually do all day?

Also can he ask to go into office now? Maybe if he was out the house a couple of days that might help?

It would be hard to get on with stuff with someone sat wfh all day every day.

YukiCarrot · 15/06/2021 18:12

I take it you are working from home too?! Where do you work?

Is there nowhere else you can ask DP to work from In the house? I realise it can be frustrating, but it's a small sacrifice to still have a job in the pandemic.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 15/06/2021 18:12

Ah ok so he is fundamentally taking over all the living space. That changes things.

Isnt there a room upstairs he can work in?

Freckers · 15/06/2021 18:13

@manysummersago

The problem is that I never have the house to myself. But never mind.
Could you encourage him to take up golf or cycling?
minipie · 15/06/2021 18:14

I like DH wfh and am not looking forward to it changing. but he’s working upstairs so I see him for lunch and coffee breaks rather than him working in the main living space all the time. That would drive me nuts.

converseandjeans · 15/06/2021 18:15

freckers 😂😂

When does DH get to relax in house on his own? If you go out during the week then presumably he's working?

He definitely needs to take up a hobby.

Original poster
manysummersago · 15/06/2021 18:15

There isn’t an upstairs. He could work in a bedroom I suppose but it’s still the same issue and plus there’s no ‘nice’ way of saying it!

It’s very rare he goes out in the evenings. And when he does have DCs at their most difficult.

OP posts:
Original poster
manysummersago · 15/06/2021 18:16

converse every single fucking day!!

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 15/06/2021 18:16

Do you work?

cheeseychovolate · 15/06/2021 18:16

Can't wait for my husband to go back to working in the office. I miss an hour or two to myself and miss sitting in the living room. I'm in the play room/ kitchen when I'm at home.

Original poster
manysummersago · 15/06/2021 18:17

I’m on maternity leave.

OP posts:
MareofBeasttown · 15/06/2021 18:17

I feel you. We are both working from home. He has a bedroom and I get the living area. He is driving me mad wt his constant snacking and loud phone calls. This is preparation for retirement and I know I am going to hate it.

AOwlAOwlAOwl · 15/06/2021 18:18

He needs a desk in a separate room, he shouldn't take over the living space.

converseandjeans · 15/06/2021 18:20

I think if you're on maternity leave and presumably have a baby/toddler home then you need the communal space of lounge/diner. He needs to work from the bedroom. It must be really hard to keep small children quiet enough so he can work.

Also if older children come home from school it's hard for them.

Do you have outside space where you can set up an office?

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