To really hate DH working from home?

[manysummersago]

I’m sure I’m not the only one struggling with this.

He is sat in the dining room 830-6 every weekday. He seems to take more space than he actually does.

I hate feeling that he’s listening to everything I do and say. It just feels like I can never just be!

And smelly poos in the middle of the day …

That endless chewing , crunching or slurping. Striding around the house. Banging doors. Going up and down the stairs. Chopping veggies to make elaborate salads.

I am also menopausal. Can you tell?:)

I get it 100% OP. I'm a sahm and I'd say DH and myself are sick to death of looking at each other at this stage. It's had several positives for us like one person does the early school collection so no dragging the toddler out to then go back an hour later for the next collection. He will try to get away from work for a bit to chat to DC but I find as soon as any drama or fighting starts he suddenly has a call to take. Also there is a big team meeting once a week and I swear I could probably participate in it myself at this stage. We do have a separate room for him to go into so it doesn't affect our day to day living arrangements thankfully but I still end up hearing lots of stuff.

I totally understand @manysummersago literally can't do anything really we would like to do without them being there ! Is there a time he will be going back ? My one went back last week one day and it was bliss (although I was working out most the day and then had the kids argh!)

Maybe move him into the bedroom then? With the door shut.

My dp also working from home and I'm also on mat leave and I actually dread when he has to go back to the office its nice to have a bit of adult conversation throughout the day when he's on lunch and breaks.

Yes I am not loving it either.

I wfh routinely and have for years. My DP never did and now he is here every day.

We are only in a flat so both in the same room. He is constantly asking me questions about this and that to do with his work, or asking for help with Excel (he's not very technical!) or for me to read through something. He also monopolises the TV with the same old rubbish every day, whereas I used to do a mix of having it off or actually putting something on I liked as background.

I miss having the place to myself..waaaaa.

@KeepingTrack

I get you *@manysummersago*. Same setup here. DH is on the dining table. Downstairs is open plan. No spare bedroom or space in the bedroom.

He is regularly in meetings so I have to be careful of how much noise I make.
But if I want a private conversation (eg ringing the GP, counsellor) I can’t do that in private. Can’t really have a friend over either.

I’m looking forward to him going back to the office, at least part time.

Same.

Mine works from our bedroom when the children are at home during holidays/ homeschooling but it’s not ideal because there isn’t room for a desk and he has to work from the bed!

He isn’t going back

To be fair he’s always done some WFH but it’s been interspersed with office work and working away. But it’s been solid WFH since March 2020.

Men always take up any space they are in and metaphorically spread. That is why they used to have sheds as no one wants them in the house all day. When men retired in the past, women used to say "I can't stand him under my feet all day" and told him to get to fuck to the allotment.

Funnily enough when you’re the one WFH full time you also don’t get to luxuriate in calm space and alone time whilst you eat chocolate and watch crap tv and just feel the sense of freedom that comes from having the home to yourself.

My heart will bleed as I play a lament on my tiniest of violins!

@Nesbo

Funnily enough when you’re the one WFH full time you also don’t get to luxuriate in calm space and alone time whilst you eat chocolate and watch crap tv and just feel the sense of freedom that comes from having the home to yourself.

My heart will bleed as I play a lament on my tiniest of violins!

Yeah but if you're actually at home not working you should be able to do those things surely!

Not my scenario as we are both working but if I were off on mat leave or something I'd struggle even more.

Actually nesbo DH does!

Oh @manysummersago I feel your pain. My OH started WFH 1 day a week about 5 years ago. Then it was 2 days a week...then 3....then all of a sudden he was home based. Then no desk in the office. Now his job actually is home based. He never goes out. He has his gym in the garage. He can't see what my issue is.....at all...... I have never had the house to myself ever. If he is out on the rare 2 occasions during the year he goes out in the evening then I am with the kids. I hate it. Really hate it. And i do a tiny a bit of work from home and hate that. I just want to go out to work to get space. He can't see any issue. He can't see that what I signed up to was not to be together 100% of the time. I am definitely one to whom absence makes the heart grow fonder.........

I am sending you lots of sympathy.

My dh works from home. He has a home office in a cabin in the garden.
I still yearn for the pre covid days when he actually went out for the day. It drives me mad when he pops in asking what I have planned for lunch..

It would feel like more of a treat seeing him if he wasn’t here all the time!

He needs to move upstairs and work so you can have the run of the house downstairs it’s unreasonable to have it set up like this

We don’t have an upstairs!

I know how you feel. Mine has only been back in the office for just over a month after a year at home, but is still at home one day a week so far. I have worked from home for years and so looking forward to a couple of days off soon with no one else around to look at me or comment if I get a biscuit, or want to just read a book in the bedroom for a few hours.

I didn't appreciate how much I enjoy my own personal space until the pandemic hit and WFH became a huge part of every day living.

I hear you too. I have a dh wfh and dd both a home. I miss the days off work when I had the house to myself and a room would stay clean after cleaning it, I could play loud music and dance round the house. Plus NO Zoom calls - god I hate zoom, conference call and teams.

The plus side is my dh hapiness has improved, the dogs are more happy and there's alway someone home to take deliveries.

You have to learn to live with this, do you not like your Husband ?

I would have HATED this during mat leave.

I do!

You have to learn to live with this, do you not like your Husband ?

I've been with mine for 30 years. 30 years of working in the city ,leaving the house at 6.30am and out for 12 hours minimum. I am NOT used to seeing his work persona which quite frankly bears no resemblance to the man I married

YANBU but he needs to work in a bedroom - assuming there is space for a desk and chair - not the open plan living area. I don’t have a partner but I’ve worked in my bedroom since March 2020. It’s not ideal at all, in fact I really don’t like it but my downstairs is all open plan and I wouldn’t dream of working there. The kids would climb all over the computer, my mum helps me with the school run and looks after them for a couple of hours in the afternoon while I’m working and it would just be impossible to work while they’re running around. It wouldn’t be fair on my kids either.