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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend says I eat too much..aibu to think I don't?

241 replies

stealmysunshone · 15/06/2021 11:10

He always has something to say about what I eat and bangs on I eat too much.
He eats 1 meal a day (if you can call it that ) and for his lunch 1 slice of small bread with 1 slice of ham and that's it all day till 6pm

Today for lunch I had a 2 egg omelette (medium eggs ) with 1/4 tomato and 1/4 online and 2 mushrooms with a small tin of baked beans (2/3 of the tin)
For breakfast I just had a banana

He said that lunch is too big and it's more like a tea time meal.
If I just had 1 slice of bread with ham I would be shaky

For tea I'm having chicken with veg and potatoes
And a snack I've got a count on us 90 cal choc thing.

Aibu here? Is this too much ?
Is this normal ?
Every time I try and argue my case he says
My lunch is a plate full and too much

OP posts:
LadyEuphemia · 15/06/2021 11:20

Why does he get any say in what you eat? None of his business. I’d dump someone for being that controlling.

Floralnomad · 15/06/2021 11:21

What you eat is irrelevant , the only question is why is he still your boyfriend . Your problem is not what you eat it’s your lack of self worth if you have not got shot of this idiot .

dementedpixie · 15/06/2021 11:21

@stealmysunshone

He always has something to say about what I eat and bangs on I eat too much. He eats 1 meal a day (if you can call it that ) and for his lunch 1 slice of small bread with 1 slice of ham and that's it all day till 6pm

Today for lunch I had a 2 egg omelette (medium eggs ) with 1/4 tomato and 1/4 online and 2 mushrooms with a small tin of baked beans (2/3 of the tin)
For breakfast I just had a banana

He said that lunch is too big and it's more like a tea time meal.
If I just had 1 slice of bread with ham I would be shaky

For tea I'm having chicken with veg and potatoes
And a snack I've got a count on us 90 cal choc thing.

Aibu here? Is this too much ?
Is this normal ?
Every time I try and argue my case he says
My lunch is a plate full and too much

Tell him to piss off and mind his own business
LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 15/06/2021 11:22

Absolutely dodgy controlling behaviour, plus he’s undereating.

Postdatedpandemic · 15/06/2021 11:24

If your weight is stable and in the healthy zone you are eating just fine.
Sounds like a nice meal plan for the day.

Sounds like his problem, not yours.

ILoveShula · 15/06/2021 11:24

Dump him.

Triffid1 · 15/06/2021 11:27

He sounds like he eats too little. You sound fine. Obviously, a key indicator of whether amounts are right is weight - is he underweight? Are you overweight?

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 15/06/2021 11:27

Surely the only objective way you know whether you eat too much, is whether you're a healthy weight?

If youre massively overweight then he may have a point.

Otherwise, he had bad issues around food that need to be addressed, or is trying to unreasonably control something that has nothing to do with him, which needs to be addressed

nimbuscloud · 15/06/2021 11:29

He has a problem with disordered eating
Is he willing to discuss it with you ?

TeacupDrama · 15/06/2021 11:29

even if you were 3 stone overweight it still would not be any of his business though he could mention health concerns but its your body from what you are saying you are eating a perfectly normal amount of food if anything still less than average

i would say average for a medium height woman of a healthy weight
breakfast 2 slices of toast and a piece of fruit tea or coffee with milk
lunch a salad with some form of protein another piece of fruit and either a packet of crisps or a small treat or a sandwich made with two pieces of bread or a wrap or a baguette with fillings as well as a drink piece of fruit and a yogurt or similar
dinner chicken potatoes 2 veg maybe sauce
during the day other teas or coffees maybe a biscuit or small chocolate bar with one either mid morning or mid afternoon or maybe after dinner but not all 3 times

Aprilx · 15/06/2021 11:29

You know very well that this is not too much, what is the real question you want to ask.

LakeShoreD · 15/06/2021 11:30

He sounds like he has some serious food issues. I couldn’t eat your lunch but it doesn’t sound excessive or anything. Your weight is the best indicator of whether or not you overeat. If you’re a healthy weight then you’re fine! I couldn’t be doing with the food police scrutinising my meals and trying to control my food intake. If it were me then I would have broken up with him ages ago.

Iwonder08 · 15/06/2021 11:30

How awful. He has an eating disorder and he is trying to control you. I would ditch him.

cherrybonbons · 15/06/2021 11:30

Your food is fine. Be wary of talking about how much of each item- that's unhealthy relationship. Eat the whole tomato!
Your boyfriend sounds like he may have an eating disorder

Original poster
stealmysunshone · 15/06/2021 11:30

I have no idea what his weight is tbh
It's the pints that's his problem
I'm 10 stone at the min,5 ft 7
I wouldn't mind loosing a couple of pounds but not bothered
I try and get my steps in every day

OP posts:
Original poster
stealmysunshone · 15/06/2021 11:32

That was onion not online (just noticed )

OP posts:
SmokeyDevil · 15/06/2021 11:32

He has issues, not you. He's starving himself.

magpie2307 · 15/06/2021 11:32

Urgh I wouldn't tolerate this. If you're really into him you need to suggest the possibility of him having an eating disorder and that he is clearly projecting his issues onto you.

If you don't want to do that then leave him, that lever of controlling behaviour and constant criticism over your weight and food choice isn't healthy.

Original poster
stealmysunshone · 15/06/2021 11:33

I think because I just have a banana for brekkie I'm starving by 11am.
I did a little calorie calculator and it's says 418 for lunch.
Most sandwiches have more cals in than that.

OP posts:
Tlollj · 15/06/2021 11:35

Tell him to fuck right off.

Tinacollada · 15/06/2021 11:35

I wouldn't have anything to do with anyone that commented on how little / how much I eat; unless I was seriously unwell as a result.

AriadnetheSpider · 15/06/2021 11:35

Ditch him, keep the food! Sounds like you’ll get more enjoyment out of it than you will out of him long-term. It’s not healthy for him to “shame” you like this. First with food, what’s next?

Shoxfordian · 15/06/2021 11:35

It sounds like he has some issues about food but he absolutely shouldn’t be policing you or telling you how much you can and can’t eat

Is he definitely a keeper?

shouldistop · 15/06/2021 11:36

I wouldn't stay with him

DianeCherry · 15/06/2021 11:37

It's none of his business. Either he understands that or he goes in my book.

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