Boyfriend says I eat too much..aibu to think I don't?

[stealmysunshone]

He always has something to say about what I eat and bangs on I eat too much.
He eats 1 meal a day (if you can call it that ) and for his lunch 1 slice of small bread with 1 slice of ham and that's it all day till 6pm

Today for lunch I had a 2 egg omelette (medium eggs ) with 1/4 tomato and 1/4 online and 2 mushrooms with a small tin of baked beans (2/3 of the tin)
For breakfast I just had a banana

He said that lunch is too big and it's more like a tea time meal.
If I just had 1 slice of bread with ham I would be shaky

For tea I'm having chicken with veg and potatoes
And a snack I've got a count on us 90 cal choc thing.

Aibu here? Is this too much ?
Is this normal ?
Every time I try and argue my case he says
My lunch is a plate full and too much

[TwinsAndTrifle]

Goodness! Of course you're eating far too much. Compared to him.

He's comparing your perfectly normal intake, to his of a toddler.

What you're having, seems perfectly normal. I wouldn't get too hung up on times of day. I often skip breakfast and have a bigger lunch. Or big breakfast, skip lunch, then tea. Sometimes I'll graze all day instead, particularly in the summer.

I'm sorry he's making these comments to you. You're not the one with the incorrectly sized meals.

[deathbyprocrastination]

Honestly, what you eat wouldn't be nearly enough for me, and his intake is nuts. He obviously has a problem and hearing him say this stuff all the time must make it really hard for you to keep it in perspective. I would find it very difficult to be in a relationship with someone like your boyfriend.

There is nothing wrong with you or your eating habits. You should be allowed to eat whatever you like. This is his issue not yours.

[ConstanceGracy]

Sounds like he has issues with food, not you.

[Maddison12]

Of course the food you mentioned is not overeating. But the actual amount you're eating is a bit of a red herring. Just my 2p but I suspect (in his weird perception) he thinks you're overweight and is trying to 'train' you to eat less.

Is he controlling in other ways?

[jaysus6000]

Tell him to fuck off.

And don't ever have children with him because he'll give your kids food issues.

You don't even eat that much yourself op.

[LucilleTheVampireBat]

A quarter of a tomato? Leave him before he talks you into an eating disorder

^^ this. It sounds like his competitive undereating is already starting to rub off on you. Honestly, life is too short.

(I'm waiting for this thread to turn into the usual MN orthorexia fest)

[WhereYouLeftIt]

Your eating is fine, but he has a dysfunctional relationship with food. VERY dysfunctional. You said

"I have no idea what his weight is tbh
It's the pints that's his problem"

I'm taking that to mean he doesn't look underweight (I assume you'd have mentioned it if he did) but since he eats very little then he must be getting a substantial amount of his calories from beer.

If he wants to ruin his health (he really is doing that) he can crack on - but you need to tell him to fuck off with trying to ruin your health. He wants you to eat as badly as he does so that he can pretend (to himself) that his eating/drinking pattern is normal.

Personally I'd dump him. He has food issues and thinks it's just fine and dandy to be a controlling arse. Neither of these problems are particularly easy to fix, and it's not your job to fix him, only he can do that. Maybe dumping him and telling him why would make him have a rethink, but I seriously doubt it.

Just dump him.

[Blondiney]

Don't allow him to force his food issues on to you.

[Confusedandshaken]

Don't get sucked into counting calories by him. It does sound likely that he is suffering from some form of disordered eating and you don't want to increase his obsession by engaging in debate.

Personally I'd ditch him. It's not easy living with a person with eating disorders. Unless you are married or have kids I don't think it's worth the hassle or grief it causes.

[ScrollingLeaves]

You are eating good food with enough protein and fibre to keep you well and give you energy. Ideally, as for us all, maybe some more leafy vegetables and berry type fruit would be good. Your exercise is good too if you are walking six miles everyday.

Could he have a touch of alchorexia? That’s when someone doesn’t eat enough then craves the sugar in alcohol. They also, if worried about weight, get into a cycle of starving to save calories for alchohol.

( One help for alchohol addiction is high protein meals- for example a 2 egg omelette!)

You are not the problem eater here. Something is wrong in him and he is putting it on to you.

He has an eating disorder/alcohol problem.

He is trying to control you in a way that doesn’t seem valid at all in that he is is basically wrong about your food. More than that, it’s not right unless you had some terrible problem and were making yourself ill.

All this- his disorder plus trying to control you instead of himself- is going to get worse.

[someonelockthefridgealready]

Everything you've said points to disordered eating.

The fact that you've posted this thread shows that it's already affecting you.

He needs professional helps, but he has to want it.

You cannot fix him. It is not your job to fix him. You can only help yourself.

I have suffered from an ED (in remission now) and I was super judgy about what other people ate, because I was so controlling about my own food intake, I wanted to control everyone else's too. Ugh. I was awful.

[Ourlady]

You don't have to explain to him or anybody what you eat.
Just because he has food (and alcohol by the sound of it) issues, he has no say on what you eat.
Are you sure you want to continue a relationship with this person.

[thinkingaboutLangCleg]

Sounds as if he has an eating disorder, or some other mental-health problem. Don’t let him infect you, OP.
As a separate issue, I would not stay with anyone who moaned on about what I ate. He will suck all the joy out of your life.

[Kokosrieksts]

He sounds a nightmare. I eat more than what you’ve listed. Size 8, so if anybody commented on my food I would definitely give them a hard time. Very rude and annoying.

[Haffiana]

@TeacupDrama

at 10 stone and 5'7" you are right in middle of healthy weight with BMI of approx 22 the range for your height is 8st 6 to 11st 5lb
so you are not over eating in any way
if you can be bothered just tell him the above that you could practically put on another stone and a half and still be in healthy weight category because he is being controlling about food don't mention you could lose a stone and be a healthy weight, there is no evidence that having a BMI of 18.5 is healthier than one of 22
There is a little to suggest that if you are of asian origin or are under 40 having a BMI under 23 is marginally better than under 25, either way you are fine

However none of that is his business.

[Bananalanacake]

If a man said that to me I would stuff my mouth with 2 jam filled donuts licking my lips and telling him to fuck off in between mouthfuls. No FUCKING MAN ever has the right to comment on what you are eating. (Unless he is a doctor and it's affecting your health).

[MeowPurrGrr]

Download MyFitnessPal or something similar (it’s free), put your details in and work out how many calories you should both be consuming. It’s very unlikely he’s meeting his calories and nutritional needs, he can’t argue with science and facts!

[PurpleDaisies]

It’s very unlikely he’s meeting his calories and nutritional needs, he can’t argue with science and facts!

I bet he would argue back on some spurious grounds.

[DoingItMyself]

Tell him to fuck off and mean it. Actually, fuck off.
He's obsessive about your weight, he has eating issues himself and he'll continue make you worry about your eating if you stay with him. It's controlling.
You don't need this. No-one does.

[Fanofcrisps]

You are fine OP. I also think your DP has got a problem with food. His contant comments about your diet are unacceptable and frankly I wouldn't stand for it. In fact I'd leave him. You could end up with an eating disorder yourself if he is allowed to chip away at you day in day out

[Aberforthsgoat]

He has a food issue, not you, and is projecting onto you. Nobody should monitor your eating habits or make you feel bad for what you eat, he sounds awful

I wonder what he would make of my half-a-tub-of-ice-cream indulgence last night

[DoingItMyself]

Sorry, 'eating' rather than weight. Just as bad. It's not his business.

[Mummyratbag]

The only people I have met who have an issue with what other people eat have eating disorders themselves. Who gives a flying monkey what other people eat (unless they are child you are responsible for). I presume you neither drink like he does nor comment that that is where he is getting his calories from. Whether you stay or not is up to you, but you need to take no notice of what he says in relation to what you eat.

[1forAll74]

Your diet sounds ok, just take no notice of your boyfriends comments. He will soon find out that his poor eating habits could be harmful,as he is not getting the best nutrition for his body. But I dare say that he can survive on so little food for some time, if he is used to it..

[Hankunamatata]

This would be a deal breaker for me as I had good issues for years, eating in front of other people.