Boyfriend says I eat too much..aibu to think I don't?

[stealmysunshone]

He always has something to say about what I eat and bangs on I eat too much.
He eats 1 meal a day (if you can call it that ) and for his lunch 1 slice of small bread with 1 slice of ham and that's it all day till 6pm

Today for lunch I had a 2 egg omelette (medium eggs ) with 1/4 tomato and 1/4 online and 2 mushrooms with a small tin of baked beans (2/3 of the tin)
For breakfast I just had a banana

He said that lunch is too big and it's more like a tea time meal.
If I just had 1 slice of bread with ham I would be shaky

For tea I'm having chicken with veg and potatoes
And a snack I've got a count on us 90 cal choc thing.

Aibu here? Is this too much ?
Is this normal ?
Every time I try and argue my case he says
My lunch is a plate full and too much

[osbertthesyrianhamster]

@DrinkFeckArseBrick

Surely the only objective way you know whether you eat too much, is whether you're a healthy weight?

If youre massively overweight then he may have a point.

Otherwise, he had bad issues around food that need to be addressed, or is trying to unreasonably control something that has nothing to do with him, which needs to be addressed

No, no one ever has a point policing what another person eats uninvited. EVER.

There is nothing to address here, OP, except when you're going to dump him.

He's a controlling, orthorexic freak. NO ONE is worth this amount of misery.

He will fuck your health if you stay with him.

Get rid.

[Ostara212]

@LadyEuphemia

Why does he get any say in what you eat? None of his business. I’d dump someone for being that controlling.

This.

[TeacupDrama]

at 10 stone and 5'7" you are right in middle of healthy weight with BMI of approx 22 the range for your height is 8st 6 to 11st 5lb
so you are not over eating in any way
if you can be bothered just tell him the above that you could practically put on another stone and a half and still be in healthy weight category because he is being controlling about food don't mention you could lose a stone and be a healthy weight, there is no evidence that having a BMI of 18.5 is healthier than one of 22
There is a little to suggest that if you are of asian origin or are under 40 having a BMI under 23 is marginally better than under 25, either way you are fine

[DesertSky]

Your meal is actually low calorie and with the amount of walking you do each day, you'd likely to be loosing weight. Your bf's daily food intake is seriously low for a male and quite worrying.

[disconnected101]

@stealmysunshone

He always thinks he needs to loose weight.
I get the eye roll if I fancy a takeaway
He was brought up on small portions and "basic" food

It's this line He always thinks he needs to loose weight. that supports what a lot of people are suggesting. It sounds like disordered eating. If it were just affecting him, it would be bad enough but he's projecting his issues. In your last post you even suggested that you could stand to lose a couple of pounds. If you stay with this boyfriend as he is, his issues & constant comments will start to affect you. The way you eat sounds healthy and normal.
I'm very curious as to what 1/4 online is though? Is that your lunch time helping of Mumsnet while you eat?

[User52739]

God just dump the miserable, nagging bastard

[Morgan12]

I couldn't stay with him. Being in sync food wise is an important part of a relationship for me. I want to get takeaways and go out to dinner with my partner and it wouldn't be enjoyable if he were like yours.

[123rd]

Tell him to jog on...might help him drop a few pounds

[InnaBun]

@stealmysunshone

He always thinks he needs to loose weight.
I get the eye roll if I fancy a takeaway
He was brought up on small portions and "basic" food

It doesn't matter what he wants to eat if you wanted to live off chicken nuggets you could.

[Anxietyforever]

He's the one with the issues surrounding food, take no notice

[PinkCast]

Sounds to me like he's not eating enough!
But if I was living with someone critical of my food intake like that, I'd be gone!

[BelleClapper]

Who has 1/4 tomato and 1/4 onion?

That’s pretty disordered eating anyway and says to me that he’s already convinced you to measure out your portions.

For context I’ve had a cup a soup and a wagon wheel for lunch so I don’t have the best habits, but I do about 25k steps a day and work crazy hours so I’m a bit all over the place and eat what i crave, I’ve always figured it’s your body telling you what you need. I’m a healthy weight for my height but not skinny.

[BreatheAndFocus]

Apart from his rudeness, I wouldn’t take dietary advice from someone who doesn’t seem to eat properly themselves.

Your lunch was normal. It sounds like the eating issue is his not yours.

[disconnected101]

@stealmysunshone

I think because I just have a banana for brekkie I'm starving by 11am.
I did a little calorie calculator and it's says 418 for lunch.
Most sandwiches have more cals in than that.

Have some protein with your breakfast. It'll stop that ravenous feeling you experience a couple of hours later. If I have, say, toast on its own or porridge & banana (so essentially mostly carbs), I could eat my own arm within an hour or two. An egg on toast - no problem until lunch. By then I'm reasonably hungry but not ravenous.
Add in some satiating fats & protein - seeds, whole yogurt, eggs, etc.

[RaspberryCoulis]

Men can be anorexic and have eating disorders too.

[Staffy1]

What you described is not too much at all. He has no business commenting on what you eat and seems to have a bit of an eating disorder himself if he eats that little and is so obsessed by what you eat. I don't think I could put up with that.

[TwoLeftElbows]

A quarter of a tomato? Leave him before he talks you into an eating disorder. This sounds utterly miserable.

You mentioned pints... if he is taking in his calories as alcohol instead of food, he'll end up malnourished and worse.

[thepeopleversuswork]

He clearly has or is on his way to having an eating disorder. The food he eats in a day is barely adequate for a small child.

But most salient point is that he is trying to control what you eat and (probably deliberately) harming your self esteem.

I'd seriously consider if I wanted to remain in a relationship with this man tbh.

[clpsmum]

One of his fucking business what you eat.

[TeacupDrama]

i imagine the tomato, mushrooms and onion were just to flavour omelette the veg with it was actually baked beans
apart from potatoes there seems to be no carbs and no dairy all day
the 2 eggs and chicken is probably enough protein; banana, beans 2 other veg and a veg in omelette add up to about 4.5 portions of veg/ fruit I think it is bordering on not enough

[Bluntness100]

Has he got an eating disorder? It sounds like he does.

[FuckyouCovid21]

What height and weight is he and what does he have for his one meal of the day?

[Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep]

He sounds eating disordered AND controlling
You don't have to be with someone who acts like this you know

[miltonj]

He's massively under eating. I feed my baby more than what he eats.

[Maggiesfarm]

It sounds to me as though he is under eating. I'm surprised he isn't ill.

What you eat is fine, your body obviously uses the food you consume and it's good stuff.

Never allow anyone to try to control what you eat, though he may have good motives - from his point of view. I Idon't know what.

I foresee some diffiuclties ahead, op.