Boyfriend says I eat too much..aibu to think I don't?

[stealmysunshone]

He always has something to say about what I eat and bangs on I eat too much.
He eats 1 meal a day (if you can call it that ) and for his lunch 1 slice of small bread with 1 slice of ham and that's it all day till 6pm

Today for lunch I had a 2 egg omelette (medium eggs ) with 1/4 tomato and 1/4 online and 2 mushrooms with a small tin of baked beans (2/3 of the tin)
For breakfast I just had a banana

He said that lunch is too big and it's more like a tea time meal.
If I just had 1 slice of bread with ham I would be shaky

For tea I'm having chicken with veg and potatoes
And a snack I've got a count on us 90 cal choc thing.

Aibu here? Is this too much ?
Is this normal ?
Every time I try and argue my case he says
My lunch is a plate full and too much

[Slub]

I'd be telling him to fuck right off whilst tucking into the biggest burger I could get my hands on

[SofiaMichelle]

You could have had 2 tomatoes, a full onion and a box of mushrooms and it still wouldn't be 'overeating' if he's talking about calories.

And eating only an evening meal is a terrible way to go. If you are only going to eat once per day - and you shouldn't do that anyway - then it should be earlier in the day.

Why would you take on all your calories at the end of the day when you're slowing down?

It does sound like he's got an eating disorder.

[KittytheHare]

When you say it's the pints that are the problem, do you mean that he's a big drinker? Yet obsesses over food?

In any case he sounds awful.

[twinkletwinklepops]

I too get light headed and a headache if I eat too little and need to eat something every three hours or so, this is not unusual and if he's so in tune with eating habits he would know this.
He shouldn't be trying to impose his upbringing on you.

[Sisisimone]

Your boyfriend has an eating disorder. I could not be with someone like this. I eat healthily but love food as does DH. I couldn't imagine not being able to enjoy a good meal with my partner. What happens when you go out to eat. I'm guessing your never going to be sharing a Thai banquet or a chateaubriand

[00100001]

tell him to fuck off.

[Taoneusa]

He sounds as though he has an eating disorder.

He’s projecting his food anxiety onto your food amounts.

This is a) his problem with anorexic spectrum thinking

b) his problem with projection/ boundary issues.

Your food quantities aren’t his to control, this triggers his anxiety.

[Whyhello]

Does he have an eating disorder? It’s quite common for people with an ED to criticise other people’s portions. They have a skewed idea of how much a person should eat.

[Sisisimone]

@KittytheHare

When you say it's the pints that are the problem, do you mean that he's a big drinker? Yet obsesses over food?

In any case he sounds awful.

One of those blokes that say 'eatings cheating' . Strange he's not bothered about the empty calories in a few pints, a fair bit more than a 2 egg omelette

[LagunaBubbles]

Why are you letting someone who clearly has an eating disorder to influence you enough that youre questioning your own eating habits, thats so unhealthy. And why a quarter of a tomato?

[LakeShoreD]

It's the pints that's his problem
Does he also have a drinking problem?

[81Byerley]

Are you really set on staying with him? He sounds anorexic and you are not eating enough. Your omelette sounds fine, but you could have more salad/veg with that. Are you on a diet, or is this normal meals for you? Why only a quarter of a tomato? Why not all the beans?
I agree with the people who think he is controlling. I think I'd move on if I were you.

[Chewbecca]

Firstly that’s about 850 kcals in total which is low.
Secondly he has a problem which he is trying to pass on to you.

[userxx]

Jesus, send him my way for the day......... he'd be in for a shock of how much one woman can consume :)

Joking aside, this would piss me off, who made him the food police ?

[SunshineCake]

Oh for Gods sake. Why are you giving this head space ? He is wrong. You know he's wrong. He doesn't champion you. He goes.

[IntermittentParps]

He's got issues. Tell him bluntly to butt out and to sort himself out before he criticises you.
What you eat is perfectly reasonable, except I'd say a banana for breakfast isn't much and is obviously why you're starving by 11am. Mind you, I have toast with avocado and sometimes cheese or pate and I'm still starving by 11am so it just depends on the individual. But you could certainly eat a more substantial breakfast.

[MasterBeth]

@stealmysunshone

He always has something to say about what I eat and bangs on I eat too much.
He eats 1 meal a day (if you can call it that ) and for his lunch 1 slice of small bread with 1 slice of ham and that's it all day till 6pm

Today for lunch I had a 2 egg omelette (medium eggs ) with 1/4 tomato and 1/4 online and 2 mushrooms with a small tin of baked beans (2/3 of the tin)
For breakfast I just had a banana

He said that lunch is too big and it's more like a tea time meal.
If I just had 1 slice of bread with ham I would be shaky

For tea I'm having chicken with veg and potatoes
And a snack I've got a count on us 90 cal choc thing.

Aibu here? Is this too much ?
Is this normal ?
Every time I try and argue my case he says
My lunch is a plate full and too much

A plateful of food is not too much food.

[Maskless]

He's not eating normally or healthily for a grown male.

Obviously we don't know his physique, he may be 5ft 2 and 7 stone BUT if he's average then he's seriously undereating and also it sounds like his diet is also unhealthy. Bread is now seen as not being the healthiest food and just ham - no veg, no fruit, it's seriously deficient in nutrients.

That said, he wants to "recruit" you into his way of thinking, OR to rationalise his own eating disorder.

What to do.

Sit him down, just the two of you, no food present, and get rid of all distractions, and look into his eyes and say: "If you want our relationship to survive, you have got to stop making critical remarks on what I eat, and stop demanding that I eat according to your rules instead of my own. I'm a grown woman, and what I choose to eat is my business."

Then he's been warned that his behaviour will lead to losing you.

Just my 2p.

[L0bstersLass]

I think it's because the two of you seem to have very different eating habits.
He has no breakfast, a small snack at lunch and a big evening meal. This is what I do.
You have a small breakfast and two reasonable sized meals for lunch and dinner.
Perfectly sensible.

The problem is that your eating patterns are not the same. Neither is wrong or right.
He is however wrong that you each too much.

[BobbingDucks]

He is massively under eating, it sounds like he has got an eating disorder.

It is not acceptable to berate you about what you eat (which is less than what my skinny 5 year old eats btw). My 1 year old would be starving if she ate what he ate in a day. He is controlling you and making you question yourself. He is projecting his issues onto you and it is clear from this thread is working. That is a toxic relationship.

I would talk with him frankly, if he does it again, leave.

[tiutinkerbell]

Oh god he would have something to say if he saw me eat... I eat approx 2400/2500 calories a day and am a small human (5'2). I train a lot so have to eat to support this, but even without training 1 piece of bread and a bit of ham and I would be passing out.

Noone has the right to comment on your food or what you eat. Ignore him and enjoy your meal, it sounds delicious. Let him deal with his issues over food and stop projecting them onto you.

What does it matter to him what you eat anyways?

[pointythings]

He is controlling and he suffers from disordered eating. This isn't a relationship you want to be in; he will make you doubt yourself.

He should also not be constantly nagging you to lose weight.

[BirthdayCakeBelly]

Ditch him, keep the food!

Totally agree.

[LemonSwan]

Theres nothing wrong with eating one meal a day (its what I do and always have done since a kid). What is wrong is how he says hes trying to loose weight and rolls his eyes at a takeaway and comments on what you eat.

He has a problem. The benefit of eating one meal a day is you can eat vast quantities of anything you want. These meals are not simple. You cannot break a fast with a single ham sandwich unless you want a blood pressure attack or bowel issues. He needs to be eating fully balanced meals with a lot of easily digestible fats (small particles absorb easier - so liquids or lots of edges on solids - ie. crushed up nuts, full fat dairy, stocks, olive oils); alongside a good helping of carbs, some protein and copious amounts of fibre.

[MintMatchmaker]

You mention pints.

I used to work with an alcoholic who barely ate, but would drink pint after pint every day.

Does your OH have a drink problem?