Boyfriend says I eat too much..aibu to think I don't?

[stealmysunshone]

He always has something to say about what I eat and bangs on I eat too much.
He eats 1 meal a day (if you can call it that ) and for his lunch 1 slice of small bread with 1 slice of ham and that's it all day till 6pm

Today for lunch I had a 2 egg omelette (medium eggs ) with 1/4 tomato and 1/4 online and 2 mushrooms with a small tin of baked beans (2/3 of the tin)
For breakfast I just had a banana

He said that lunch is too big and it's more like a tea time meal.
If I just had 1 slice of bread with ham I would be shaky

For tea I'm having chicken with veg and potatoes
And a snack I've got a count on us 90 cal choc thing.

Aibu here? Is this too much ?
Is this normal ?
Every time I try and argue my case he says
My lunch is a plate full and too much

[QuimJongUn]

DH is a recovering anorexic and only eats one calorie counted meal a day, in the evening. I love my food and eat a lot more than that (although I've also been treated for anorexia in the past). He'd never harangue me for what I eat.

[bebarkered]

What you eat has got absolutely nothing to do with him OP

[Mrsmadevans]

@stealmysunshone

Maybe I'm over guessing on the app
But potatoes alone for me is showing as 400 cals
Chicken 250 cals

Anyway I'm not going to let his ways get inside my head.
It's making me a bit neurotic

He likes a drink twice a week but can easily have 9-10 pints each time his out
So has a bit of a beer belly and would rather scrimp on food and drink his calories

That's at least 40 units a week or if a stronger beer/lager 60 units !!
Men & Women are recommended not to have more than 14 units a week. Also, is that a little bit of a beer belly or the early signs of Liver
disease.
Your food intake is the least of his worries OP . You sound very healthy to me . Keep up the great work

[Cocomarine]

@VanillaAndOrange

What I find (slightly) disordered is logging everything

I assumed that was done specifically for the purpose of giving us an accurate picture of what that lunch was like, so we'd know as much as possible when considering whether it was too much.

I read the “always” in her 13:32 reply as meaning that she always logs on MFP. I think it’s healthier (as in mentally, not nutritionally!) if you can step back from monitoring and logging and frankly thinking about food so much. Even if you’re in a “maintenance” mindset, you really shouldn’t feel the need to log a fraction of a tomato. That’s giving food more headspace than it should have.

[VanillaAndOrange]

What I find (slightly) disordered is logging everything

I assumed that was done specifically for the purpose of giving us an accurate picture of what that lunch was like, so we'd know as much as possible when considering whether it was too much.

[NeverDropYourMoonCup]

Some men get off sexually on not just a woman with a dangerously thin/underweight/sick figure, they get off on the process of making a woman that unwell physically and mentally.



It's worth bearing in mind that he may be enjoying the power of you feeling only able to have a bit of a tomato.




And then running for the hills.

[Whysolong7]

@GravityFalls

Well, that's obviously a perfectly normal amount of food to eat as you fully know, and your boyfriend has disordered eating. How dare he take it out on you and make you doubt yourself - you KNOW that's not too much food. Three meals a day is completely standard and it wouldn't matter what you were eating - he has a problem with food and would always take it out on you somehow.

This 👆🏼

[lemmein]

God what a tedious nobber he sounds!

I'd just shout boring every time he brings it up and walk away (I'm mature like that )

You sound fine OP - and even if you weren't, it's none of his business. Tell him and his wafer thin ham to fuck off!

[WaterOffADucksCrack]

Who has 1/4 tomato and 1/4 onion?
That’s pretty disordered eating anyway and says to me that he’s already convinced you to measure out your portions. I just took that as what fits in the pan and just as add ins for flavour. Most people don't to have too much filling in an omlette.

For context I’ve had a cup a soup and a wagon wheel for lunch so I don’t have the best habits, but I do about 25k steps a day and work crazy hours so I’m a bit all over the place and eat what i crave, I’ve always figured it’s your body telling you what you need. I’m a healthy weight for my height but not skinny. I'm all for having what you fancy to eat and having chocolate or whatever incorporated into a balanced diet but I don't think the human body is telling them to specifically eat a wagon wheel 😂

[Cocomarine]

@VanillaAndOrange it’s not the choice of a quarter of a tomato that seems (slightly) disordered to me. As you say - you choose the amount of omelette filling you want. What I find (slightly) disordered is logging everything - down to a quarter tomato - on MFP when you are a healthy weight and not trying to lose weight. It’s totally unnecessary, and suggests a relationship with food that isn’t entirely healthy.

That said, I do agree with the rest of your post!

[VanillaAndOrange]

I wouldn't want to be with this man, OP - I would find the criticism irritating to say the least, but even without that, I would find his own undereating (and no, I haven't misread it - I do know he eats dinner as well) difficult to deal with. When someone close to you has a problem, whether it's over- or underating, drinking too much, trouble with social skills or anything else, it's hard not to feel you have a responsibility to make it better somehow, and you shouldn't have to.

You describe him as a boyfriend, not a partner or husband, so I'm hoping your lives are not so entwined that moving on would cause massive disruption. Depending on how much you want to save the relationship at this stage, I think I'd either split up with him or give him one chance. Explain clearly what you don't want him to do, mention that you don't find his eating habits all that healthy either but you don't go on about it all the time (if you can commit to not ever going on about it), and say that you will be ending the relationship if it continues. If you have ties like children or a shared property, it's a bit more complicated, but I think you still need to be having that conversation in one form or another.

Having said all that, I don't understand why everyone is getting so hung up on the quarter of a tomato and quarter of an onion. That doesn't say "disordered eating" to me, it says "this is how big the omelette pan is, this is the amount of filling that works best with that." You sound to me like you listen to your body and eat what works best for you, and if that's not a whole tomato on some occasions, so what?

[Singlenotsingle]

Sounds fine to me

[altiara]

He sounds like he’s sucking the joy out of life with his criticising.
Is he interesting when he’s not criticising or drinking?

[NewlyGranny]

5'7" and 10st sounds perfectly healthy - I bet your BMI is a healthy one.

If he does it again, you could ask who made him the food police. And the next time you could counter with, "And you drink too much!"

Seriously, though, he is way out of line. The first time he asked you out, did he go straight on to say, "...by the way, if you go out with me I will police every bite that passes your lips and comment on every meal you consume,"? If he had, would you still have gone out with him?

He needs to stop that or stop being your bf.

[therearenogoodusernamesleft]

Have you pointed out to him how many calories are in his beer?

[user1471538283]

In my experience real drinkers are always so thin. It sounds like beer is making up for so little food.

You sound absolutely fine. I wouldn't put up with him.

[Cocomarine]

Neither of them have an entirely healthy relationship with food, and the ye boyfriend is a dick on top.

[Cocomarine]

@seensome he hasn’t just had a roll though. That’s as well as his dinner; which OP neglected to detail. So it was bollocks posting that he has one meal a day 🤷🏻‍♀️
Some people prefer to mainly eat once a day - and do so healthily in that meal.
I agree with the poster who said OP was being sparse!

[MrsTerryPratchett]

I do wonder what this thread is for. Very sparse posts about disordered eating. Sounds like OP may have some disordered eating as well.

I'm concerned this is an opportunity to lie in it.

[alardi]

One thing DH & I bond over is how much we both eat. Both into exercise so we eat a lot. I believe shared love of food is much more common than OP's weirdness.

[Onairjunkie]

@stealmysunshone

Maybe I'm over guessing on the app
But potatoes alone for me is showing as 400 cals
Chicken 250 cals

Anyway I'm not going to let his ways get inside my head.
It's making me a bit neurotic

He likes a drink twice a week but can easily have 9-10 pints each time his out
So has a bit of a beer belly and would rather scrimp on food and drink his calories

He drinks 18-20 pints a week and criticises hit for having an omelette for lunch? Fuck that noise. He’s insane.

[Benjispruce3]

He sounds charming. Your meals sound reasonable and given you only eat a banana for breakfast, your lunch is substantial but not too much.

[Lovelydiscusfish]

My ex used to criticise what I ate all the time (he barely eats). In the end I developed disordered eating for a while.

I can still be funny about food now. Luckily my new bloke has had similar himself so understands it. We encourage each other to eat, not the other way round!

Ditch this man before he proper messes with your head…..

[Poppins17]

He’d be my ex quicker than he could say anything… you don’t want to live your life justifying everything you put in your mouth!

[PinkG0ld]

I eat way more than you and I’m underweight.

1. Your boyfriend has an eating disorder and needs help.
   

1. He is purposefully making you feel like shit.
   

1. Dump the bastard.