Not to support DD TTC Part 2

[checkyourpops]

Hi, just starting over from last thread.

Thank you for the ongoing support I haven't any updates yet. DD hasn't told her boyfriend yet because he's got a sickness bug apparently. She says she's definitely telling him Monday after work. She seems to have calmed down and is talking to me again, although we haven't spoken really about the pregnancy

DH has seen a few flats and actually thinks it might be a good idea to gift a 2 bed to her... And nothing else. No help in any other area. Then she will have no excuse really as she won't have living costs and can put her wage to mostly buying baby things and sorting stuff for herself. It makes me feel a lot better at night knowing she can be safe and have her home sorted without possibility of eviction etc. It is something I'm open to doing

She is still my baby at heart, to me, but it feels a lot better now I feel like there's a plan. I have calmed down quite a bit and dare I say it, felt a tinge of excitement this afternoon in my head.... quickly replaced by worry but there you go!

@Bizawit of course its a perfectly natural emotional response. That doesn't make it sensible. You can't bring a person into the world to heal yourself. Babies aren't for filling holes in our lives. That baby has needs, needs that their mum isn't capable of providing without help. And what happens when the baby doesn't solve the mums problems? What happens when the baby is a boy and doesn't replace the daughter she lost? She needs to deal with the loss of her baby, not try to replace what can't be replaced. I'm not vilifying her, but OP was absolutely right not to support her decision to try for a baby that she couldn't support and OP isn't responsible for supporting her grandchild.

She sounds really immature. I feel for you very much OP. You have given her every opportunity but ultimately she will make her own choices.

I think it's absolutely right that she moves out now and gets used to standing in her own two feet, as she is going to be a mother. So it is time to become an adult, not a child anymore. You can't really do that until you move out.

What @Sssloou said! 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

I'm only a mum to a very young baby but I imagine I'd feel much the same if she were to decide to get pregnant so young.

She needs support but to learn that she has made a decision to bring a life into the world so now needs to crack on and try give the baby the best life possible. She will 10000% need your support as it's likely to be a huge shock to the system.

It's lovely that she won't have the stress of paying out rent. Just make sure you get to live your life too! Hard balance I imagine 💐💕

How are things @checkyourpops ?