Do I make DD give up rainbows/brownies because of school?

[RainbowsBrowniesLove]

DD is 6, very nearly 7 (end of July). Year 2.

Every week she has spellings and 2 pieces of homework to do.

If they get less than 50% on their spelling test on a Friday morning they lose 15 minutes of golden time on Friday afternoon.

If homework isn’t handed in on Thursday they lose 15 minutes of golden time on Friday to do the homework – so can lose half an hour.

They can also lose up to 15 minutes for bad behaviour throughout the week, so in theory they can lose the entire hour of golden time.

DD never does her homework. We do the reading and spellings but never the homework so she only ever gets at most 30 minutes of golden time.

1 night a week she swims for a half hour lesson immediately after school, we come home and she’s often tired but will attempt reading and sometimes spellings. If she’s too tired we read again in the morning, and I try and test her spellings on the walk to school but she doesn’t always want to.

1 night a week we go from school, have a quick bite to eat, change into rainbows uniform and off we go. This is currently a few nights after swimming but when she moves to Brownies after October Half Term it’ll be the night before swimming (Swimming is Tuesday and Rainbows Thursday, Brownies will be Mondays)

She will have to spell between 8 and 12 spellings, she usually gets between 0 and 3 right. School are saying she needs extra practice an extra night a week. Spellings are given out Monday after Fridays test so can’t even do extra practice over the weekend.

Part of me thinks she should give up Rainbows/Brownies to help school work as she can’t give up swimming for safety and medical reasons – we live in a town with a fast flowing river, a canal and a small lake, and she has a medical issue that’s greatly improved by swimming, school do 1 term of swimming in year 4 that’s it due to where the pool is compared to school (it’s not easily walkable so they have to charge parents to go and they never get 100% payment so it’s not financially feasible to do it more often) so she needs to learn to swim and the effect on her medical condition means I will not be stopping those lessons.

But then another part of me thinks that she was behind when she started school in 2018* and she benefits so much from Rainbows – she talks about it for days afterwards, has invited some of the girls from there to her party in July (she doesn’t know they’re coming though, as I haven’t told her yet) and it’s the one place she’s not with classmates (like at swimming) so not comparing herself to others. It’s one of the few places she’s her for her and not for her difficulties – she does everything at the same time as all the other girls, wears the same clothes/uniform and no-one but the group leader knows of her difficulties (none of the other leaders/helpers know as group leader felt it was need to know only). So I don’t want her to give that up. Also selfishly I was never allowed to join guiding as a child and always wanted to so the fact DD loves it also makes me incredibly happy.

*When she started school in 2018 she was 12 months behind and spent parts of the day in Reception out of the classroom with a TA trying to “plug the gaps”. Because of lockdown and her being unable to engage with most of the home learning (and school refusing her a place despite me, DDs paediatrician and DDs teacher begging for a place for her) and some medical treatment before Christmas where she missed a few weeks she’s now around 18 months behind. She has a communication disorder caused by joint problems that also cause mobility issues, she can also have issues with making it to the toilet on time. School also think she might be dyslexic and/or have hearing issues but won’t refer her for dyslexia assessment until the Christmas of year 3. She is also not currently getting targetted support school say due to covid, and it's obvious she's struggling with the actual work as well as spellings.

My ramblings come after we walked back from rainbows and I was testing her spellings for the week and she can’t spell any of them. We’ve practiced 3 times this week and she’s not got any right despite the practice.

For added context I am a single parent and she goes to ExH EOW, he will not take her to any activities, and she often misses parties of her friends if they fall on his weekend. He will not do schoolwork with her so an extension for the homework would only help on my weekends as I get her back from him too late on Sunday to do anything.

So do I stop rainbows/brownies or keep her there? Basically WWYD if it was your DD?

I apologise in advance if I drip feed I don’t know what other information people might want from me

Don't stop rainbows, try to get an earlier assessment of your DDs condition, even though it is only bringing it forward by a few months.

Hope that the conversation goes well

Golden Time is behaviour modification, because it is saying 'you do this for me,I will give you this in return'

It does sound like her spellings are not being differentiated for her level. It seems the teacher my just be giving the whole class the same words, rather than giving different lists for ability. I would think that is completely wrong, and demoralising for the kids.

I hope you get somewhere with the Deputy.

Golden Time works on the assumption that children are choosing not to comply. If a child simply can't do what the teacher wants, then no amount of rewards or punishments will make a difference.

As I tried endlessly to explain to DD2's school (as did the the ed psych etc). But they were convinced they knew better. Brownies and dance class were essential to DD2's mental health - at least she had areas of her life where she could succeed, whereas at school she was set up to fail and then shamed for failing.

There's little evidence that weekly spellings actually improves spelling. What does improve spelling is reading for pleasure.

"If they get less than 50% on their spelling test on a Friday morning they lose 15 minutes of golden time on Friday afternoon." WTAF? That is so discriminatory! Don't stop her Brownies, speak to the school, they need to get their priorities in order. She is a summer born 6 year old with additional needs and medical issues - that she is able to participate in all these wonderful clubs is fantastic! School are really wrong here.

No major updates from the DHT. She just said she'd look into it.

However DDs come out saying she got nearly all her golden time and only lost it from not doing homework. But she did get 0 spellings right again.

Apparently they got to choose to stay in the classroom on the ipads or be taken to the other year 2 class for drawing and painting which DD has evidently done as her jumper is bright orange and green!

Will update when I've spoken to the DHT again next week.

Stick with the activities!
I agree with asking for the spellings to be given on a Friday, also how about just learning half of them?

@RainbowsBrowniesLove

No major updates from the DHT. She just said she'd look into it.

However DDs come out saying she got nearly all her golden time and only lost it from not doing homework. But she did get 0 spellings right again.

Apparently they got to choose to stay in the classroom on the ipads or be taken to the other year 2 class for drawing and painting which DD has evidently done as her jumper is bright orange and green!

Will update when I've spoken to the DHT again next week.

Do you get the spelling tests back again? If you do look at the bits of the words she did get right, “wow, look how many first sounds of the words you got right , and you remembered about ea making the same sound as ee .” In fact, I would make a point of asking for them so you can see where she is understanding what she is being asked to do and where the weaknesses are. I personally wouldn’t retest at home, she’s already “failed” the test once, you need to see , and she needs to know, where she has succeeded.

Great news on the Golden time though, sounds as though she enjoyed it.

Do you get the spelling tests back again? If you do look at the bits of the words she did get right, “wow, look how many first sounds of the words you got right , and you remembered about ea making the same sound as ee .” In fact, I would make a point of asking for them so you can see where she is understanding what she is being asked to do and where the weaknesses are. I personally wouldn’t retest at home, she’s already “failed” the test once, you need to see , and she needs to know, where she has succeeded.

@viques I think we're supposed to have them back on a Friday but DD never brings hers home and the trays get emptied on Friday - that's not a new thing they always have been emptied. Anything in the tray thats not a school reading book, school library book or stationery goes in the bin on Friday after school. DD never brings anything home as she always forgets. A few times I've had to go in and help them empty her tray so I actually get things like Mother's Day cards from her as she'd just forget.

So update.

Got called by the headteacher today about an incident and end of the day me, Head and the teacher were stood discussing it and teacher was talking about DD and seemed to know her really well, so I wonder if it was just over the phone she didn't quite know what to say as she couldn't read my reaction, if that makes sense? Even the head said that this particular behaviour was "unexpected" from DD as she's usually lovely.

They've also explained about spellings. They are doing the ones on the curriculum for Year 2 rather than individual ones, but have agreed that DD will not lose golden time or playtime for not being able to spell. The homework is set per year group as well so again not individual or per group. I explained we don't do it and why, and they've asked me to set a timer for 5 minutes twice a week and have ago, if she doesn't answer all the questions or gets them all wrong she's tried and will get her golden time.

Teacher apologised for lack of communication she hadn't realised it was important to me, and has said she will make sure next years teacher knows that I like to have regular contact with the teacher as DD struggles to tell me whats happening in the classroom.

They still want me to hold off applying for the EHCP until we've got a diagnosis. They will be putting more help in place once restrictions lift and she does get TA assistance in class so she's not falling further behind but not closing the gap.

So I will be giving them until Christmas to improve then I will be looking for another school, meanwhile I'll looking into a private diagnosis of dyslexia which they can't stop me doing.

I really would think about moving schools. This seems pushy and wrong.

@Rolypolybabies

I really would think about moving schools. This seems pushy and wrong.

I'm happy with the solution for now but will be looking elsewhere if it's not improved by Christmas, probably more like October half term so she can start a new school in January if it comes to it.

The school are not setting differential work. That's the bare minimum that they should be doing to support their children.

Also bear in mind that the step up to year three is normally a big jump for all children and if the school are not supporting her now, likely to get worse.

I have messaged you because I included some details about my own child, but I would also add here that you should definitely go for a private diagnosis. I went through the British Dyslexia Association and the report was expensive but worth every penny. It gave the diagnosis which is helpful but there were 8 pages of strategies that could be used at home and at school. These suggestions were made based on the results of her assessment so were very specific to my daughter, who has a poor working memory as well as dyslexia. That gives everyone practical things to do, which is sometimes the sticking point - what can we actually do to make this better?

I'm glad you have made some progress and that they seem willing to praise effort rather than results.

You don't need a diagnosis to apply for an EHCP, and it sounds as if the school is stalling.

DD's application started late December, and will finally go to panel in the next month. The time in between has included various appropriate assessments.

If you wait until October then realistically it could be another year before your child has the support they need.

@Allington

You don't need a diagnosis to apply for an EHCP, and it sounds as if the school is stalling.

DD's application started late December, and will finally go to panel in the next month. The time in between has included various appropriate assessments.

If you wait until October then realistically it could be another year before your child has the support they need.

I have spoken to sendiass and they don't think I will get a needs assessment for dyslexia before Christmas anyway as she's not 7 until end of July. We've been rejected twice already, I will be appealling but I'm not hopeful.

I will be pursuing a private diagnosis as soon as I can afford it though.

Do not give up Brownies or Swimming. You may oddly even find that the swimming helps the reading!! My dyslexic DS learnt to swim, ride a bike and start reading a few words all within same few weeks ... probably around 8 years old. Seems that the development was somehow connected for him. (Although he did do some OT too)

I nearly strangled his Y2 teacher who told me gorgeous, hardworking, trying to please DS "needed to try harder and spend longer on spellings. " He's now 16 and I regret the time we spent in tears going over them time and again and them not sticking. It was the wrong approach and totally useless. So do the homework, tell DD well done and then do something else

Get the assessment through school or privately if you can possibly afford it. And focus on building up self esteem and her other talents and interests.

Update Re School

DDs been put in the Deputy Head/SENCos class next year and I've already had a lovely long email about how DD will be supported so I think this year was just a blip for the school.

I am very happy with the class choice for next year and can't wait to start working with her to support DD. I have always liked the DH and hoped she'd teach DD during DDs time at primary so very very happy.

Excellent- that’s really great news!