Do I make DD give up rainbows/brownies because of school?

[RainbowsBrowniesLove]

DD is 6, very nearly 7 (end of July). Year 2.

Every week she has spellings and 2 pieces of homework to do.

If they get less than 50% on their spelling test on a Friday morning they lose 15 minutes of golden time on Friday afternoon.

If homework isn’t handed in on Thursday they lose 15 minutes of golden time on Friday to do the homework – so can lose half an hour.

They can also lose up to 15 minutes for bad behaviour throughout the week, so in theory they can lose the entire hour of golden time.

DD never does her homework. We do the reading and spellings but never the homework so she only ever gets at most 30 minutes of golden time.

1 night a week she swims for a half hour lesson immediately after school, we come home and she’s often tired but will attempt reading and sometimes spellings. If she’s too tired we read again in the morning, and I try and test her spellings on the walk to school but she doesn’t always want to.

1 night a week we go from school, have a quick bite to eat, change into rainbows uniform and off we go. This is currently a few nights after swimming but when she moves to Brownies after October Half Term it’ll be the night before swimming (Swimming is Tuesday and Rainbows Thursday, Brownies will be Mondays)

She will have to spell between 8 and 12 spellings, she usually gets between 0 and 3 right. School are saying she needs extra practice an extra night a week. Spellings are given out Monday after Fridays test so can’t even do extra practice over the weekend.

Part of me thinks she should give up Rainbows/Brownies to help school work as she can’t give up swimming for safety and medical reasons – we live in a town with a fast flowing river, a canal and a small lake, and she has a medical issue that’s greatly improved by swimming, school do 1 term of swimming in year 4 that’s it due to where the pool is compared to school (it’s not easily walkable so they have to charge parents to go and they never get 100% payment so it’s not financially feasible to do it more often) so she needs to learn to swim and the effect on her medical condition means I will not be stopping those lessons.

But then another part of me thinks that she was behind when she started school in 2018* and she benefits so much from Rainbows – she talks about it for days afterwards, has invited some of the girls from there to her party in July (she doesn’t know they’re coming though, as I haven’t told her yet) and it’s the one place she’s not with classmates (like at swimming) so not comparing herself to others. It’s one of the few places she’s her for her and not for her difficulties – she does everything at the same time as all the other girls, wears the same clothes/uniform and no-one but the group leader knows of her difficulties (none of the other leaders/helpers know as group leader felt it was need to know only). So I don’t want her to give that up. Also selfishly I was never allowed to join guiding as a child and always wanted to so the fact DD loves it also makes me incredibly happy.

*When she started school in 2018 she was 12 months behind and spent parts of the day in Reception out of the classroom with a TA trying to “plug the gaps”. Because of lockdown and her being unable to engage with most of the home learning (and school refusing her a place despite me, DDs paediatrician and DDs teacher begging for a place for her) and some medical treatment before Christmas where she missed a few weeks she’s now around 18 months behind. She has a communication disorder caused by joint problems that also cause mobility issues, she can also have issues with making it to the toilet on time. School also think she might be dyslexic and/or have hearing issues but won’t refer her for dyslexia assessment until the Christmas of year 3. She is also not currently getting targetted support school say due to covid, and it's obvious she's struggling with the actual work as well as spellings.

My ramblings come after we walked back from rainbows and I was testing her spellings for the week and she can’t spell any of them. We’ve practiced 3 times this week and she’s not got any right despite the practice.

For added context I am a single parent and she goes to ExH EOW, he will not take her to any activities, and she often misses parties of her friends if they fall on his weekend. He will not do schoolwork with her so an extension for the homework would only help on my weekends as I get her back from him too late on Sunday to do anything.

So do I stop rainbows/brownies or keep her there? Basically WWYD if it was your DD?

I apologise in advance if I drip feed I don’t know what other information people might want from me

In case it’s relevant, I say this as a teacher. The schools policy is cruel.

The school are being so unreasonable. I assume the losing of golden time is so they can practice spelling - but really it’s boiling down to them punishing the children.

Please don’t cancel her brownies it will be so much more beneficial than spelling practice.

Not sure if you have across this before, but during lockdown we used an app called Sirlinkalot. He tackles spelling in a different way - more image based. It might be worth her having a play on something like that. Lots of people can’t learn spellings by repeating them over and over.

Have you brought this up with school? To sanction children for poor performance after missing huge chunks of schooling is cruel.
Golden time sucks!

I agree with others about brownies.
But i think you need to look at attempting the homework. She is 18m behind. Which is a comparison to classmates doing the homework.
Extra reading might help spellings or at least vocabulary and understanding.
But i wouldnt spend ages on spellings as the other stuff is more important.
I would tackle ex dp re the homework. She at least needs time there set to do the work. If nothing else you could zoom her to go through stuff.
She is still little but you arent going to be able to tell if it's dyslexia or if she is behind because she isnt coverinh the work.

Apparently many schools wont pay for dyslexia testing

No way would i give rainbows / brownies up !
She's a little girl who will benefit so much from going , school is the problem, some schools sure know how to put kids off education .
I would be making it very clear that my 6 year old !!! will not be losing golden time and that we will do the best we can but no more , she has so much learning time ahead of her , she will get there at her own pace.
Show the school this thread , it may make them alter their silly , unfair rules .

I am absolutely shocked that any school would take away golden time for spelling test mistakes and lack of home at such a young age!
I’ve been teaching this age group for years and if the children don’t know their spellings, It will be because I haven’t taught them well enough, their parents maybe busy or unwell etc. It’s very rarely the child’s ‘fault’ and the same for homework. Spelling tests are a joke. They learn them for a test and hardly ever remember them afterwards. This is not the way for any educators to encourage a child’s love of learning.
Stick to Rainbows and guides.

I don't think I've seen many Aibu where the resounding majority say "no yanbu"!

So Rainbows it seems consensus is yanbu and move her schools.

Hope you feel reassured and wish you and dd the best

I'd be looking to change school!

I agree with all the connects dating don't give up brownies! If this was me (and it might be next year) I think i would spend half an hour tops on homework / reading / spellings in the morning. My Dd is in yr1 and is best in the morning. I bloody hate homework for little kids.

Missing golden time for this is a bad policy. Teacher should run a homework club.... give up one of her lunches weekly for kids who don’t do homework. I did this. In the end, the kids hated missing play so much they started doing homework. I also didn’t set that much and put some tasks as voluntary for those kids (parents) who wanted more.

Homework is a pita. Some parents will have your skin for not setting enough, some will complain of the same homework that it’s too much.

OMG it gets worse. Golden Time is mostly screen time? What a lazy waste of time. Much as I hate GT for many reasons I won’t bore you with, it is at least an opportunity for children to interact and develop social and communication skills. There’s absolutely nothing ‘golden’ about screen time.

Let her do her fun stuff. If she's having a bad time at school it's even more important that out of school is pleasurable.

Assuming she hasn't got any special needs spelling will come in time especially if she develops a habit of reading for pleasure. And she is very young for her class. It's isn't reasonable to compare with children 10 months older. If she does have special needs taking away her fun activities and golden time won't change then.

The school sounds horrible.

I was also a terrible speller at school. I caught up because my mum

Also HATE homework for sMallies. As a teacher I really tried not to give much but parents and head would complain.

Research Jenny Mosely Golden time and Golden Rules. School is using it completely incorrectly.
Do not give up rainbows. They are giving far too much homework. If your child was disengaged at home they are certainly doing nothing to ensure she engages at school. The punishments are too big at their age! Makes my blood boil...

@HSHorror

I agree with others about brownies. But i think you need to look at attempting the homework. She is 18m behind. Which is a comparison to classmates doing the homework. Extra reading might help spellings or at least vocabulary and understanding. But i wouldnt spend ages on spellings as the other stuff is more important. I would tackle ex dp re the homework. She at least needs time there set to do the work. If nothing else you could zoom her to go through stuff. She is still little but you arent going to be able to tell if it's dyslexia or if she is behind because she isnt coverinh the work.

Apparently many schools wont pay for dyslexia testing

Unfortunately I can’t zoom her while she’s there. We have a court order that gives me telephone contact while she’s there but ExH never answers when I call, and never calls me when I ask him to.

He also has no contact with DD between his EOWs so he’d argue he’s spending a little time with her “while he can”. I’ve offered telephone or zoom calls and he never bothers to answer.

I’ve asked him time and again to do homework and I just get told schoolwork is my responsibility as I have her in the week and have all contact with school.

I used to be a Brownie leader. So many parents told me what a confidence boost Brownies was to their DC, especially girls who weren't doing so well at school. I definitely wouldn't pull her out of Rainbows/Brownies.

Is it yours or DD's decision not to do the homework? I know HW for KS1 isn't shown to be effective, but if your DD gave it a go, that would get her that 15 minutes' golden time each week.

@RainbowsBrowniesLove

The vast majority of parents who appeal the refusal to assess win their cases.

The legal test for an EHCNA is:

• whether the child or young person has or may have special educational needs (“SEN”); and
• whether they may need special educational provision to be made through an EHC plan.

If the answer to both of these questions is yes, the LA must carry out an EHC needs assessment.

Anything else like school spending £6000, being 2 years behind or anything else is unlawful.

Have you submitted your forms for the appeal yet?

What a appalling situation for your DD.

Her self esteem is being plundered due to the schools expectations and management of golden time.
I’d be requesting a meeting and discussing it with them and i’d be very firm that my child will
miss no more golden time for these things and what additional support can they offer her instead.

The school is massively failing your DD - she should absolutely be getting extra support.

Don't stop the activities. Read to her and with her when you can, do activities that are fun and encourage literacy and numeracy and be that parent - the one that fights to get their child the help they deserve.

Tbh I would tell school she won't be doing the homework sheets, full stop. And that as you're telling them she's not doing them, you don't want her to be punished abs loose golden time. Those twinkl or whatever worksheets teach them nothing. I had my full of the bloody things in lockdown.

No you dont have to take her out of Rainbows. Try looking at things like spelling before school. They are never at their best after school at that age.

I’m horrified for your dd. She’s ks1 fgs. The class teacher seems completely inaccessible so I’d not even bother communicating with her. I’d go straight to the Senco and head. As others have said, written communication talking about reasonable adjustments has excluding a child with additional needs and disability from normal class activities ie golden time. Schools like inclusion. What they’re doing is de facto excluding your dd due to her additional needs and disability.

I know you’re looking at other schools, which sounds like a good idea. Don’t rule out schools with a poorer demographic, some of these schools are ace, especially if they have a dynamic head. My friend is a primary school teacher and she had part of her teacher training in a school, which was ace because it was so used to helping parents out in many different ways. She also did a stint in a school, where the kids were miserable. The latter was a catholic school btw.

If all else fails, in the interim, I’d collect your dd early on golden time days. But above all else, I’d not stop her activities.

Firstly keep rainbows/brownies, it sounds hugely beneficial.

Then I would email the school, explain that her spellings are too hard, with practice 3 times she should be able to succeed, could she have some that she could have more success with.
I'd also withdraw her from homework, extra reading with her sounds like it would be more beneficial and insust she isn't punished for your decision.

Finally I havr a DD like yours, finally diagnosed with dyslexia in the month before she was 8. She was trying do hard at school that she was completely switched off when she got home.

We did our reading and spelling practice in the morning, 15 mins every day, 10 mins reading and 5 mins spelling after breakfast.

Children who are struggling work sommuch harder at just trying to keep up at school and thusnusniften overlooked.

This is horrifying! So she has suspected dyslexia and the school are punishing her for not being able to spell! Absolutely keep with the rainbows/brownies it will give her confidence.

Your poor little girl, she needs more help from school.

No. Don't pull her out.

The school are bang out of order here. Encouraging small amounts of home learning is good but penalising little kids for not getting high enough marks is awful.