Do I make DD give up rainbows/brownies because of school?

[RainbowsBrowniesLove]

DD is 6, very nearly 7 (end of July). Year 2.

Every week she has spellings and 2 pieces of homework to do.

If they get less than 50% on their spelling test on a Friday morning they lose 15 minutes of golden time on Friday afternoon.

If homework isn’t handed in on Thursday they lose 15 minutes of golden time on Friday to do the homework – so can lose half an hour.

They can also lose up to 15 minutes for bad behaviour throughout the week, so in theory they can lose the entire hour of golden time.

DD never does her homework. We do the reading and spellings but never the homework so she only ever gets at most 30 minutes of golden time.

1 night a week she swims for a half hour lesson immediately after school, we come home and she’s often tired but will attempt reading and sometimes spellings. If she’s too tired we read again in the morning, and I try and test her spellings on the walk to school but she doesn’t always want to.

1 night a week we go from school, have a quick bite to eat, change into rainbows uniform and off we go. This is currently a few nights after swimming but when she moves to Brownies after October Half Term it’ll be the night before swimming (Swimming is Tuesday and Rainbows Thursday, Brownies will be Mondays)

She will have to spell between 8 and 12 spellings, she usually gets between 0 and 3 right. School are saying she needs extra practice an extra night a week. Spellings are given out Monday after Fridays test so can’t even do extra practice over the weekend.

Part of me thinks she should give up Rainbows/Brownies to help school work as she can’t give up swimming for safety and medical reasons – we live in a town with a fast flowing river, a canal and a small lake, and she has a medical issue that’s greatly improved by swimming, school do 1 term of swimming in year 4 that’s it due to where the pool is compared to school (it’s not easily walkable so they have to charge parents to go and they never get 100% payment so it’s not financially feasible to do it more often) so she needs to learn to swim and the effect on her medical condition means I will not be stopping those lessons.

But then another part of me thinks that she was behind when she started school in 2018* and she benefits so much from Rainbows – she talks about it for days afterwards, has invited some of the girls from there to her party in July (she doesn’t know they’re coming though, as I haven’t told her yet) and it’s the one place she’s not with classmates (like at swimming) so not comparing herself to others. It’s one of the few places she’s her for her and not for her difficulties – she does everything at the same time as all the other girls, wears the same clothes/uniform and no-one but the group leader knows of her difficulties (none of the other leaders/helpers know as group leader felt it was need to know only). So I don’t want her to give that up. Also selfishly I was never allowed to join guiding as a child and always wanted to so the fact DD loves it also makes me incredibly happy.

*When she started school in 2018 she was 12 months behind and spent parts of the day in Reception out of the classroom with a TA trying to “plug the gaps”. Because of lockdown and her being unable to engage with most of the home learning (and school refusing her a place despite me, DDs paediatrician and DDs teacher begging for a place for her) and some medical treatment before Christmas where she missed a few weeks she’s now around 18 months behind. She has a communication disorder caused by joint problems that also cause mobility issues, she can also have issues with making it to the toilet on time. School also think she might be dyslexic and/or have hearing issues but won’t refer her for dyslexia assessment until the Christmas of year 3. She is also not currently getting targetted support school say due to covid, and it's obvious she's struggling with the actual work as well as spellings.

My ramblings come after we walked back from rainbows and I was testing her spellings for the week and she can’t spell any of them. We’ve practiced 3 times this week and she’s not got any right despite the practice.

For added context I am a single parent and she goes to ExH EOW, he will not take her to any activities, and she often misses parties of her friends if they fall on his weekend. He will not do schoolwork with her so an extension for the homework would only help on my weekends as I get her back from him too late on Sunday to do anything.

So do I stop rainbows/brownies or keep her there? Basically WWYD if it was your DD?

I apologise in advance if I drip feed I don’t know what other information people might want from me

I would not stop her from going to either. From your OP these seem to be the places she can build her confidence and social skills. This is so important. Have you spoken honestly with her teacher about her emotional well being AND her current academic level?
Also as a Step parentto a lovely boy with Dyslexia and a husband that went to a specialist school as his dyslexia is so severe, can you find any different ways to practice/learn the spellings. There is one called Nmenomics (prob spelt wrong lol) where you make up silly sayings so 'Because is "big elephants can always understand small elephants'. I found my stepson was a kinetic learner so he needs to move to learn, we would get a squirty bottle and write with it on the pavement, hang letters on paper on the line and he would have to get the right letters down to spell the word.... just making it fun.

Definitely keep her at Rainbows & Brownies - the skills and friendships (especially outside of her school) are really worthwhile and will be a huge benefit to her in the long term.

School sounds overly harsh and strict though, especially as they are well aware of her difficulties/conditions and that they suspect that she is dyslexic too - they are completely unreasonable and I would definitely approach them about their punishments.

Thank you for the suggestions about homework, I will look into it.

Unfortunately no other school nearby can meet her mobility needs as she struggles with things like ramps if they're too steep or long, this school is all on one level and all one building.

She absolutely loves Rainbows and I'm sure she'll love Brownies too, from the moment she went she's always ran in singing. She sings the songs with her sylvanian families and barbies when not there which I think is adorable.

Will try and talk to school again. Even an extension over the weekend would give me a few extra minutes on Monday morning or whenever.

No, don’t give up her after school clubs,they’re very important!
I am a teacher and Senco. I would advise you to speak to the class teacher and explain that she should not be penalised for getting her spellings wrong - if a child had dyslexia, they would most likely never get them right! It sounds like you're practicing her spellings by getting her to spell them to you - she needs to use a multi sensory approach. Lots of oral practice where she sounds them out whilst looking at the words, lots of copying them out - use a whiteboard than she can wipe off to do this. Write individual words on post it notes and put them up around the house as a visual reminder. Learning spellings can be a bit boring, like times tables. It needs lots of repetition.
As for homework, what is the school policy? Why is she not actually doing it? She’s going into KS2 soon, the homework may well get harder, so trying to develop good habits now will help her enormously.
If possible, get up 1/2 an hour earlier so she can have breakfast, get dressed and do a little bit of homework.

School sounds awful. Definitely keep her at her activities and speak to the school about their demands being ridiculous and not in line with her needs.

the school are being utterly unreasonable by discriminating against her for her poor spelling ability - why should she lose 'golden time' because of her disability? That's unacceptable, and you should challenge it.

Absolutely, please challenge this. Children who struggle academically should NEVER be punished for that. This is the sort of thing that happened in the 50s and 60s. It absolutely should not be happening on this day and age.

If you get no joy from the teacher or head, pleaser contact your parent governor. I'm a retired teacher and absolutely appalled by this.

No I wouldn't stop Brownies. My DS has a LD and Beavers/cubs has always been a really inclusive activity.

Her school sounds a bit crap to be honest. I think their expectations are off given the lack of support they have offered both during lockdown and now. I guess she doesn't have an EHCP? Please get in contact with the SENCO with regards to this loss of golden time, it sounds really punitive to those with LD.

Bloody hell! Punishing for bad spelling, the poor kids with SEN. That’s awful. I’d be bringing that up with the school ASAP and carrying on with Rainbows/Brownies.
Bloody homework at that age, honestly. My dds school gives homework and it’s been reviewed to something not as taxing as before. It’s ridiculous the amount they get. Kids need down time during the week too.

As a teacher, I say absolutely bloody not! Your little girl has had a tough time of things and deserves the joy Rainbows brings her.

Just a thought, but all mandatory spellings for each year group are published on the DfE website. Would that be a help in terms of a head start?

Also, it would definitely be worth speaking to the teacher and seeing if they would be willing to give you an idea of the spellings/spelling rules that are coming up. Teachers want kids in their class to succeed - I'm sure your daughter's teacher would be amenable to this.

2 activities a week is hardly unusual for kids of that age, Brownies and swimming are both very worthwhile. Have you spoken to the school about how you and they can make this work. Very unreasonable to punishment children at that age as they have no control over what they do after school. Some will go to childcare until 6pm, others will be at a different parents each night with no consistency. School are being unreasonable.

Keep her at Rainbows.

Talk to the school - this golden time being dependent on academic success is awful. Is it a private school?

Also, don’t test her on spellings by getting her to say the letters to you while walking. She may not be able to visualise the word. That’s quite hard for a year 2 child to do. Get her to try writing them down on scrap paper. That’s only a small point though. The school’s golden time policy is horrible 😢

@DancesWithDaffodils

It sounds to me like Rainbows is something she truly gets enjoyment from - and probably also social and communication benifits from. I think I wouldnt drop it. The not testing for dyslexia until she is over 7 is usual, and not your school being awkward. Can you get her hearing checked if school think that might be an issue? And an eye test if doesnt happen regularly.

Otherwise, just keep plugging away at it. Honestly, raising a spelling mark of 0-3 to above 5/6 is going to take more than 1 more practice at it. So youd loose rainbows and still be losing golden time.

She has regular hearing tests due to having grommets fitted when she was a toddler but not had one for awhile, I've raised it with the paediatrician but covid...she is definitely still on the list though.

She also has regular eye tests but she is due one so I'll get her booked in.

Keep her at brownies and at swimming.
I got so fed up of my primary school with my DD, she just isn’t massively academic and was slightly behind in literacy and maths. They started keeping her in at breaks for ‘interventions’ then missing assemblies and some lunch times for these sessions. I put a stop to it when she cried about missing PE for an intervention session.
My point is she’s now in ‘middle sets’ at high school. Not everyone is a top notch academic.

The focus of your conversation with the school shouldn't involve the rainbows element. It should simply be that your child is being punished for her difficulties. You are spending time on her spellings, but she is still not succeeding. She is being given spellings that are too difficult for her ability, and she should not be penalised for that.

We just don't do the homework we read everyday and spelling pick 2 to work on a day

Let her be a child for goodness sake. Childhood is for fun. Do a bit of reading before bed spellings at weekend only

No, don't stop her activities they are just as important as school.

School need to reduce both the number and difficulty of the spellings, they are setting her up.to fail. I would advise putting your concerns in writing to the SENCO at school. They need to adjust for her.

I have a dyslexic child and they could not cope with a large number of spellings. We now get 5 per week and learn them using wooden magnetic letters and a whiteboard. There should be no sanctions for failure.

I would make a formal complaint to the school to be honest!!! Horrendous policy.

I wouldn't take her out from Brownies, I would take her out of that shitty school instead. Disgusting what they are doing to your child.

As a retired teacher I can say definitely:
DO NOT take you our of Rainbows, Brownies or swimming. Those are things she likes and things she excels in, which keeps her self-esteem high.
DO tell the teacher that you want the spelling words on Friday afternoon so you can practice over the weekend.
DO arrange with the school to have her tested for possible learning disabilities.
FYI: My DD1 also had spelling difficulties. I got an inexpensive tape recorder and put the words on tape every week. Each morning while she was dressing, combing hair, etc. she played the tape and orally spelled along with it. It worked much better than staring at the words and then having them called out.

I wouldn’t be pulling her out of clubs I would be pulling her out of the school. Poor little mite.

I have worked in many schools and never heard of anything like that, that rule of missing golden time for not doing well in a test is a terrible thing to do and can cause stress and Anxiety.

Your school is being ridiculous and I would speak to them about two things, the punishment when a child is clearly struggling is wrong and why can't they hand out the homework on a Friday ?
Ours hand out on a Friday and Sunday afternoon is when we do homework so we can do reading and spellings each evening.
My DD is YR2 and I'm currently being fobbed off with the not making referrals until KS2 which both the GP and school nurse are not happy about because any child who is struggling will only fall further behind the longer no help is given. In the last 2 weeks DD has had her hearing tested and is now wearing glasses although she's been under orthoptics for a long time. Whatever you do don't stop after school activities that your DD is enjoying

I agree the school’s approach is awful.

However, is she not pretty tired out by school and all these activities especially with her condition? If so, I would consider cutting back activities, not for the sake of spellings and homework but just so she’s not too tired to focus/join in in school.

My DD has a physical condition that makes her extra tired, so we only ever did maximum of one weekday club in y2 and kept any other activities for the weekend (appreciate your ex situation makes that difficult).

This also meant we had time for homework, but that wasn’t the primary reason for keeping weekdays low key, it was more so she wasn’t exhausted at school.

On the other band if your DD has bags of energy then I would say keep the activities.

In any case I would speak to school about their golden time policy, that’s really not on. Some dc find spelling very easy others don’t, it’s not really something they should be rewarded for.

I'm sorry but id be throwing disability discrimination at the school. The school has a terrible approach. If a child is consistently getting only 1 or 2 spellings right then they are not suited to the Childs ability.

As @Hellocatshome has pointed out - the school have no knowledge of a child's life once they leave school and some children might have the sort of parents who can't be bothered to help with spellings and all they are doing is punishing the child for something it has no control over.

Utter madness.

It's a state school but an academy.

No EHCP, been rejected for an assessment twice now and school aren't backing getting one atm, so I've got a fight on my hands for that.

I don't just make her spell them out on the way to or from school/activities. We play flashcard games with the pictures on, we point them out on signs or in books so she sees them written down, I've written them down before and got her to copy them down, saying the letters as we go. Love the idea of the washing line and pegs though, definitely will try that.

I have no formal communication with the teacher this year, in Reception and Year 1 we had an exercise book where I'd write messages in but due to covid we don't have one this year so I have to email the secretary and sometimes don't get a reply because the teachers not allowed to reply directly. I've only spoken to the teacher this year briefly twice on the phone at parents evening.

No reading books either, I have been reading to her and I borrowed a set of ORT books off a friend with now high school aged children and have matched her book to where I think she is. She says she;s reading in school so that;s something at least.