Do I make DD give up rainbows/brownies because of school?

[RainbowsBrowniesLove]

DD is 6, very nearly 7 (end of July). Year 2.

Every week she has spellings and 2 pieces of homework to do.

If they get less than 50% on their spelling test on a Friday morning they lose 15 minutes of golden time on Friday afternoon.

If homework isn’t handed in on Thursday they lose 15 minutes of golden time on Friday to do the homework – so can lose half an hour.

They can also lose up to 15 minutes for bad behaviour throughout the week, so in theory they can lose the entire hour of golden time.

DD never does her homework. We do the reading and spellings but never the homework so she only ever gets at most 30 minutes of golden time.

1 night a week she swims for a half hour lesson immediately after school, we come home and she’s often tired but will attempt reading and sometimes spellings. If she’s too tired we read again in the morning, and I try and test her spellings on the walk to school but she doesn’t always want to.

1 night a week we go from school, have a quick bite to eat, change into rainbows uniform and off we go. This is currently a few nights after swimming but when she moves to Brownies after October Half Term it’ll be the night before swimming (Swimming is Tuesday and Rainbows Thursday, Brownies will be Mondays)

She will have to spell between 8 and 12 spellings, she usually gets between 0 and 3 right. School are saying she needs extra practice an extra night a week. Spellings are given out Monday after Fridays test so can’t even do extra practice over the weekend.

Part of me thinks she should give up Rainbows/Brownies to help school work as she can’t give up swimming for safety and medical reasons – we live in a town with a fast flowing river, a canal and a small lake, and she has a medical issue that’s greatly improved by swimming, school do 1 term of swimming in year 4 that’s it due to where the pool is compared to school (it’s not easily walkable so they have to charge parents to go and they never get 100% payment so it’s not financially feasible to do it more often) so she needs to learn to swim and the effect on her medical condition means I will not be stopping those lessons.

But then another part of me thinks that she was behind when she started school in 2018* and she benefits so much from Rainbows – she talks about it for days afterwards, has invited some of the girls from there to her party in July (she doesn’t know they’re coming though, as I haven’t told her yet) and it’s the one place she’s not with classmates (like at swimming) so not comparing herself to others. It’s one of the few places she’s her for her and not for her difficulties – she does everything at the same time as all the other girls, wears the same clothes/uniform and no-one but the group leader knows of her difficulties (none of the other leaders/helpers know as group leader felt it was need to know only). So I don’t want her to give that up. Also selfishly I was never allowed to join guiding as a child and always wanted to so the fact DD loves it also makes me incredibly happy.

*When she started school in 2018 she was 12 months behind and spent parts of the day in Reception out of the classroom with a TA trying to “plug the gaps”. Because of lockdown and her being unable to engage with most of the home learning (and school refusing her a place despite me, DDs paediatrician and DDs teacher begging for a place for her) and some medical treatment before Christmas where she missed a few weeks she’s now around 18 months behind. She has a communication disorder caused by joint problems that also cause mobility issues, she can also have issues with making it to the toilet on time. School also think she might be dyslexic and/or have hearing issues but won’t refer her for dyslexia assessment until the Christmas of year 3. She is also not currently getting targetted support school say due to covid, and it's obvious she's struggling with the actual work as well as spellings.

My ramblings come after we walked back from rainbows and I was testing her spellings for the week and she can’t spell any of them. We’ve practiced 3 times this week and she’s not got any right despite the practice.

For added context I am a single parent and she goes to ExH EOW, he will not take her to any activities, and she often misses parties of her friends if they fall on his weekend. He will not do schoolwork with her so an extension for the homework would only help on my weekends as I get her back from him too late on Sunday to do anything.

So do I stop rainbows/brownies or keep her there? Basically WWYD if it was your DD?

I apologise in advance if I drip feed I don’t know what other information people might want from me

No I wouldn't stop rainbows/brownies, kids get so much out of those activities (I have one in beavers about to go to cubs and one about to start beavers)

They shouldn't be getting that much homework at that age and I think forcing them now will only cause a longer term battle with it. I'd be speaking to school about the expectations and homework.

However, you could try making a game of the spellings to help her remember them.

Bloody hell, the school are being utterly unreasonable by discriminating against her for her poor spelling ability - why should she lose 'golden time' because of her disability? That's unacceptable, and you should challenge it.

I wouldn't pull her out of Brownies/Rainbows if she enjoys it.

Nope. Let her carry on atBrownies. She'll be learning important life skills and developing a different friendship group.

No don't stop brownies/rainbows. She's 6/7. That is far too harsh a punishment for a kid at school to miss golden time.

Brownies will give her other outlets in life that may well be very beneficial to her if academically she is going to struggle. My hypermobile dd struggled so much through primary. Guides has given her the confidence to fly at secondary!

Id speak to school. They need to stop the spelling g test torture. If she has sen which means she cannot learn the spellings- and dyslexia is a pretty big spelling issue. They need to be supportive helping her not handing out punishments!

I'm rambling as I am so enraged by what the school are doing to the poor kid. Noone needs to give up activities for extra homework aged 6!

Tbh I'd consider moving schools if they are not prepared to consider her SEN in relation to these punishments. Speak to the teacher, then the SENCO if you can, then the head.

Keep her in brownies. There's nothing wrong with not being an "academic" child and it sounds like she will benefit more from the life skills from swimming and brownies. I would certainly be talking to the school about their crazy homework expectations.

I'm shocked that she is punished for finding spelling difficult. Potentially for having a learning difficulty. Appalling.

It seems very old fashioned to keep children in who struggle to spell. I teach in a High school and it's not unusual for children to be diagnosed with dyslexia and other learning difficulties what they come to us which were never picked up at primary school.

If she's too tired to read don't make it a struggle and a battlefield, reading to her and modeling good reading skills is also important. I would make DD and I both a warm drink after her activities I would read to her whilst she drank and dunked a biscuit or two then she would read to me when it was my turn.

Keep her at Brownies, it will be giving her so much more than an hour of golden time will, chance to try new activities, social skills, become more resilient and improve her self esteem. It's so important for children that struggle with academics to have something they excel in outside of school.

Don't make her give up brownies - they get so much from it.

It sounds as though school should be doing far more to help her. It sounds unbelievable strict - loosing all that golden time based on performance in tests is outrageous if there is no differentiation in work given. If she is 18 months behind, stopping her from doing the fun stuff because she can't do the spellings is horrible and not going to help her.

At the very least there should be the opportunity to be able to do the work over the weekend rather than having to do it after school.

I don't think she should give up rainbows but I do think you should speak to the school about the homework. Can they give her the spellings early ie on Friday so she also has the weekend to work on them? Can she read to you whilst you are cooking? I think she should be reading every day with you.

It sounds to me like Rainbows is something she truly gets enjoyment from - and probably also social and communication benifits from. I think I wouldnt drop it.
The not testing for dyslexia until she is over 7 is usual, and not your school being awkward.
Can you get her hearing checked if school think that might be an issue? And an eye test if doesnt happen regularly.

Otherwise, just keep plugging away at it. Honestly, raising a spelling mark of 0-3 to above 5/6 is going to take more than 1 more practice at it. So youd loose rainbows and still be losing golden time.

My children are grown up now.

Rainbow sounds really important and beneficial for your daughter. She should carry on going to rainbows and if the spellings are that important she should be given them early so that she can have a look at them over the weekend. It sounds as though her issues are deeper than that though, which just makes rainbows even more important for her developing skills.

Maybe she will never be a good speller. Maybe she needs to be given different help or different spellings. But if she is kind and social that is always going to stand her in good stead.

Involve the sendias team (previously known as parent partnership) if you are in England / Wales. I'm not sure of the equivalent in Scotland / NI.

Tell school that you need to be able to practice spellings over the weekend (there isn't any evidence for spelling tests but it is the way most schools work and you seem to be willing to roll with it).
Keep her in Brownies. When children go through a bad patch at school it is great to have another place where they feel included and welcomed.

Brownies will give her so much more than spellings.

I'm actually angry on your daughter's behalf about the way spelling tests are handled. And we wonder why there's a mental illness epidemic among kids. I would be gently requesting they stopped doing this and would forcefully complain if they refuse!!

I’m a teacher, and that sounds like a crap school. Some of my Y3s are learning Y1 spellings currently. Any child who does well in a spelling test or improves gets a reward from me. If they’re consistently failing spelling tests they get extra support and/or more appropriate spellings.
TLDR: don’t give up brownies, and consider a better school that actually gives a shit about children.

No. Talk to them. Don't cancel these activities.

Well, the spellings are too tricky for her, for a start. If she’s practised three times and still can’t get any right they are not at the appropriate level. Tell the school.

And as for the rest of the homework, can you explain it’s too much? Or can you do it for her and get her to copy it?

But please, don’t stop her other activities for homework.

I’m an infant teacher, BTW, and I really don’t like homework for younger children. I was extremely happy when my school ended KS1 homework. The homework NEVER raised standards and was all too often a source of real stress for parents.

Nope- I wouldn’t give up Rainbows either. And sounds like you’re doing an amazing job.

No, don’t make her give up Brownies, it’s important that she has things she enjoys to look forward to.

I think the school are being really unfair and unsupportive- that’s a lot of homework and rules when she’s only little. I’d be pushing back on school saying they need to give her more support there rather than taking away something she’s enjoying.

No I'd continue with her activities.
Catch up over the summer holidays, constantly point out words, break them up.

So the clever kids get more golden time?

That's seems really unfair OP. I work in a school and we have nothing like that. Incidentally our Yr2s get no homework at all only reading.

I would raise it with school

I haven’t read the whole thread- haven’t even read all of your first post but don’t give up rainbows/ brownies. She will get there with spelling and reading but don’t give up her clubs. Don’t add any more at this point either but they will benefit her so much. Maybe just try some new tactics to get her to learn the spellings more successfully. Maybe a game - hangman or something. Have them up around the house so she sees them regularly - by her bed, the fridge, the loo etc.

Absolutely no I would NOT pull her out of brownies/rainbows and I would be having strong words with the Head Teacher about why my daughter was being discriminated against due to her disability and the lack of support. Has she got an EHCP or have the school applied for one for her?

I would keep her extra curricular stuff which brings her so much benefit, and I would be dropping on school like a ton of bricks for not making reasonable adjustments to meet her additional needs.

What a shitty school to punish children for poor spelling. Do t give up brownies; give up the school. It sounds awful

Absolutely no to quitting. She's young. There's much more in the world around us that help us develop. It's not just school and spellings. She'll be learning so much attending and most importantly she enjoys it.
I'd try to factor in half an hour twice a week where you can do her homework. Make it a routine. Brownies wont be going on for hours on end.
Sometimes teachers give out the same spellings to everyone in the class. I've never agreed with this as there can be a huge difference in understanding and remembering at that age.
I would practice but approach if you feel they're way out of her reach just now. It wont be doing her self esteem any good.