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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS 21 sharing a room with us on holiday

475 replies

locko55 · 10/06/2021 17:42

Me, DH and DS 21 are going on holiday for a week next month, we have always shared a triple room on holiday, the room has 3 single beds in it. I just wondered recently whether this is not appropriate given that DS is an adult now. DH likes to book a triple room as it is cheaper. DS has never said anything against being in a triple room with us but maybe he doesn't want to complicate matters and just puts up with it.

OP posts:
WhentheDealGoesDown1 · 10/06/2021 18:40

Alright for a few days, could be a bit cramped, similar to camping or YH shared rooms.

SarahAndQuack · 10/06/2021 18:40

I think you are right to worry he may not like the idea and may be too polite to say so. Especially if you've brought him up nicely (which I assume you have!) and he's very conscious it would be rude to suggest your DH spends more money when he's already having a paid-for holiday.

I wonder if you could say something like 'DS, we've been wondering if we could get a deal on two rooms for a decent price, what do you think?' then he might be able to reply more freely. If he's genuinely not fussed he'll say so; if he's been quietly feeling a bit uncomfortable he'll probably let you know.

blisstwins · 10/06/2021 18:40

Normal to me...silly to waste money on another room unless it is a romantic holiday.

diddl · 10/06/2021 18:42

If another room could be afforded then wouldn't it be nice to ask him?

Maybe it depends where you go & the "price" of sharing is worth it to him?

Does he still live at home & has never suggested that he doesn't holiday with you?

mimi0708 · 10/06/2021 18:43

I've always done this with my parents. Seems normal to me

MrsKoala · 10/06/2021 18:43

When I was 21 I went to New York with my Dad for my birthday present and we shared a twin room. It was just a base and was only for 3 nights.

Years later I took my Dad to Brussels for 2 nights for a birthday treat. We booked a twin but when we arrived it was a double and they had nothing else. We just shrugged and got on with it. We both wore pjs and were sleeping off all the sight seeing - I don't recall our bodies ever touching once.

It's fine if everyones fine with it.

ElephantOfRisk · 10/06/2021 18:44

We've done it occasionally for single nights with adult sons (either both or one) if no other option. We stay down near family sometimes and there is really just one small hotel so we need to take what we can get, sometimes that's a family room. Effectively we are literally there to sleep and shower (not always even that).

If it's an actual holiday we book separate rooms and in fact if we have both DSs, we'd generally (but not always) book enough rooms so they have one each. Not usually an issue with self catering but we have stayed in a hotel and booked a double and a twin as 3 rooms cost too much. DSs are currently almost 21 and 20 so talking late teens really.

WhereYouLeftIt · 10/06/2021 18:48

@locko55

Me, DH and DS 21 are going on holiday for a week next month, we have always shared a triple room on holiday, the room has 3 single beds in it. I just wondered recently whether this is not appropriate given that DS is an adult now. DH likes to book a triple room as it is cheaper. DS has never said anything against being in a triple room with us but maybe he doesn't want to complicate matters and just puts up with it.
So your husband is a cheapskate who does not consider the comfort of the two other people on the holiday.

My DS is 22, so I had a think about it. No, I do not want to share a room with him and I'm just as certain he wouldn't want to share a room with me/us.

Raise the matter with your husband and tell him that this room arrangement is no longer acceptable to you. and to stop being so damned cheap.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 10/06/2021 18:48

@MinesAPintOfTea

At 17 I woke up to find my parents DtD in the bed next to me. Urgh.

But if you don’t like sex on holidays, then go ahead

That would have completely traumatised me! Do they know you saw that?
HollaHolla · 10/06/2021 18:49

I’m 43. I’ve shared a room with my parents a few times in recent years; usually on stopovers for a night or so. I also shared a twin room with my brother for 2 weeks holiday (different places) to keep costs down. We just changed in the bathroom for privacy. Yeah, separate rooms would have given us more space/privacy, but we were hardly in the rooms, so we wanted to save a bit on cash. 🤷🏻‍♀️

HalfTermHalfTerm · 10/06/2021 18:50

It’s not inappropriate at all. Inappropriate would be if he was in your bed!

I expected to be sharing a room on holiday at around that age because I was at uni and my parents were still very kindly paying for me to come with them. I would have liked a separate room but, perhaps like your son, I would have felt very rude suggesting it and I didn’t mind sharing. Is your son earning?

bridgetreilly · 10/06/2021 18:50

I don't really understand why this a thing you need anyone else's input on. Why don't you just ask your son how he feels about it?

Knickerthief1 · 10/06/2021 18:52

Are people really so obsessed with sex that they can't imagine one week away without it! It honestly doesn't factor into my holiday plans!

Skyla2005 · 10/06/2021 18:53

Why does he want to go on holiday with his parents !

unim · 10/06/2021 18:53

I still happily share a room with my parents when travelling!

I wouldn't want to if I had a partner or if my parents had inappropriate boundaries. Obviously I count on my parents not snogging each other bed or anything like that (shudder) and they have indeed always behaved in a chaste and monk-like fashion whenever we've shared a room!

KeepingTrack · 10/06/2021 18:54

Lol at the ds automatically bing uncomfortable.

@locko55 I’ve travelled with my parents all throughout my adulthood (I’m now 50yo with two dcs). I’ve always shared a room with them and I’ve never felt uncomfortable.
It’s fine. Really.
(Unless you are planning loud sex and whatnot , then maybe not.... Grin)

Moonshine11 · 10/06/2021 18:55

@Skyla2005

Why does he want to go on holiday with his parents !
Why not!? It’s his bloody parents
socalledfriend · 10/06/2021 18:55

Can't see the problem myself....

yikesanotherbooboo · 10/06/2021 18:56

Our late teen has always shared with us until now. I don't think it is weird if you and he don't.

Crowsandshivers · 10/06/2021 18:57

Why is it inappropriate? More of an inconvenience for you guys but I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

ApolloandDaphne · 10/06/2021 18:58

@Skyla2005

Why does he want to go on holiday with his parents !
We are going on holiday next week. Both our DDs are coming with us and they are 23 and 28! We are paying and we all get on. DD1s DP is coming too. We aren't sharing rooms though! At 21 mine wouldn't have minded sharing.
G3ntlemanJ · 10/06/2021 18:59

@LaurieFairyCake

I'm a hotel room there are NO other places to have sex - apart from the bathroom which is even weirder

And you're hardly wanting to be taking it up a back alley on holiday ConfusedGrin

I read that as something COMPLETELY different 😂🙈

excuseforfights · 10/06/2021 19:00

Not weird at all, OP. Years ago DH and I would often take either my mum away or his mum and we shared a triple room.

Great savings as often there wasn't even a supplement for a third person and we could still have a cuddle as we had the double bed.

Lots of happy memories of weekends away, it wouldn't have been affordable if we had had to pay for 2 rooms as we were paying it all.

TatianaBis · 10/06/2021 19:01

You’ve ‘just’ wondered, really?

Justmuddlingalong · 10/06/2021 19:02

Would DH uninvite him if he decided he was too old to share with his DM and DDad and wanted a separate room? If so, that'll be the reason DS's not mentioned it.

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