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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS 21 sharing a room with us on holiday

475 replies

locko55 · 10/06/2021 17:42

Me, DH and DS 21 are going on holiday for a week next month, we have always shared a triple room on holiday, the room has 3 single beds in it. I just wondered recently whether this is not appropriate given that DS is an adult now. DH likes to book a triple room as it is cheaper. DS has never said anything against being in a triple room with us but maybe he doesn't want to complicate matters and just puts up with it.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 10/06/2021 19:02

@Skyla2005

Why does he want to go on holiday with his parents !
You know it’s possible for people to grow up and want to spend time with their parents?

Most years I go away with my parents at least once, we get on well and have fun together. We still do our own thing and holiday alone too.

INeedNewShoes · 10/06/2021 19:04

I went camping with my parents well into my 20s. Wasn’t weird!

1Morewineplease · 10/06/2021 19:05

Absolutely unreasonable.
If you can't afford another bedroom then either your son stays at home or you pay more for another bedroom.
Can you imagine what your son's friends/partners would think if they heard about this?
Even if you went camping, you'd have separate berths .

Tal45 · 10/06/2021 19:06

I've stayed at plenty of youth hostels (no you don't have to be a youth to stay at one!) in a room with several other girls/women I had never met before and even in mixed ones with lads. Sharing a room with your parents is surely much less weird than that. If it's always happened and he's never mentioned it then I expect he's absolutely fine with it and just grateful for the free holiday.

RaspberryCoulis · 10/06/2021 19:07

For one night in an emergency / unexpected situation - fine.

As a planned one week holiday - weird and not OK in the slightest.

TatianaBis · 10/06/2021 19:07

Sharing with strangers in a youth hostel is much less weird than sharing with parents.

Nataliafalka · 10/06/2021 19:08

Don’t see the problem. Sounds fine if he’s happy with if

notalwaysalondoner · 10/06/2021 19:09

Whatever works for you, don’t let people judge and if your DH is comfortable then it’s fine, especially if you’re all in three single beds. I’ve regularly shared rooms with my parents as an adult (used to go backpacking with my mum for weeks at a time) and have shared rooms as a couple with my DH with friends or siblings (again, all in single beds). If you can’t afford two separate rooms don’t worry about it - and even if you can, maybe actually ask DS if he would prefer his own room or if he’d rather spend some of that money on something else fun on holiday like a fancy meal or an activity.

motogogo · 10/06/2021 19:09

I share with my DD's if we go away together, the 3 of us. I shared with them and their dad until we split up when they were 18. I wouldn't expect them to share with dp and I obviously.

Tal45 · 10/06/2021 19:09

@1Morewineplease

Absolutely unreasonable. If you can't afford another bedroom then either your son stays at home or you pay more for another bedroom. Can you imagine what your son's friends/partners would think if they heard about this? Even if you went camping, you'd have separate berths .
Absolutely unreasonable - but only in your opinion. Which means you can't tell people what they have to do only say what you would do or make a suggestion. Personally I think you may worry way too much about what other people might think.
Moonshine11 · 10/06/2021 19:10

@1Morewineplease

Absolutely unreasonable. If you can't afford another bedroom then either your son stays at home or you pay more for another bedroom. Can you imagine what your son's friends/partners would think if they heard about this? Even if you went camping, you'd have separate berths .
What exactly would they think?
Mountaingoatling · 10/06/2021 19:10

I've shared a twin room with my Dad when I was 40! It's not weird. It's just sleeping in the same room!

Bagelsandbrie · 10/06/2021 19:11

I find it weird people are so weirded out by this. If you just use the room for sleeping then who cares? If everyone is happy about it then it’s fine, no different than sharing a tent..?!

firsttimeoptimist · 10/06/2021 19:11

Absolutely fine in our house! Stayed in the same room as my parents and my sister well into my 20s. But we woukd also share a camper/caravan and in my opinion exactly the same!

Hallyup6 · 10/06/2021 19:12

@Knickerthief1

Are people really so obsessed with sex that they can't imagine one week away without it! It honestly doesn't factor into my holiday plans!
I know, I'm always too knackered and would rather sleep!
firsttimeoptimist · 10/06/2021 19:13

I also find it really odd that people find it really odd! If one of my friends thought it was wierd then i think "right back at you!".

OrangeSharked · 10/06/2021 19:13

I think one night is okay. Sharing with one parent for a city break is also fine

Sharing with both parents for a week at 21 is just plain weird. And uncomfortable. Even if theres no sex involved its just too much, give the poor boy some space and privacy!

I used to go camping with my parents as a teenagers, and we'd share a tent and honestly I hated it and it made me feel uncomfortable.

FatCatThinCat · 10/06/2021 19:13

I think it's fine if the 3 of you are happy with it. It's not like you're bunking up with some random you met on the plane. It would be inappropriate if one of you wasn't happy and those feelings were ignored.

firsttimeoptimist · 10/06/2021 19:13

Totally agree.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 10/06/2021 19:14

I think it's up to them - if they are all ok with it then it's fine.

I find it odd that some are saying they wouldn't share with 14/15 year olds. I wouldn't want my 15 year old alone in another room in another country.

OrangeSharked · 10/06/2021 19:14

I cant believe people are presenting wanting to have sex on holiday as a negative thing Grin

Your on holiday! Of course people can go a week without sex, but if I was to pick any week in my life to remove the option of sex it wouldn't be on holiday

Roselilly36 · 10/06/2021 19:14

I can’t imagine my DS’s response! They wouldn’t even share a twin room together, they are 19 & 18, nor about sharing with Dad & I.

firsttimeoptimist · 10/06/2021 19:14

@OrangeSharked. That boy is a man who can buy his own room if he has an issue or at least raise it with his parents!

AprilHeather · 10/06/2021 19:15

Wow I’m surprised how many people think this is weird as I just wouldn’t think anything of it!

I think if your son had a problem with it, he’d either say so or not come. I regularly shared rooms or tents with my parents as a young adult, not so much now as I have my own family but I still would share if it came up

earthyfire · 10/06/2021 19:15

If you all feel comfortable then it isn't weird. If he was going with a partner then it would be a different matter perhaps.