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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS 21 sharing a room with us on holiday

475 replies

locko55 · 10/06/2021 17:42

Me, DH and DS 21 are going on holiday for a week next month, we have always shared a triple room on holiday, the room has 3 single beds in it. I just wondered recently whether this is not appropriate given that DS is an adult now. DH likes to book a triple room as it is cheaper. DS has never said anything against being in a triple room with us but maybe he doesn't want to complicate matters and just puts up with it.

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 10/06/2021 17:51

Why wouldn't ds pay for his own room at
21?

Maybe he’s a skint student?

Ducksurprise · 10/06/2021 17:51

Hmm at the replies.

Depends if its a shagathon holiday where you aren't planning on leaving the room then yes, it's inappropriate.

If its a out all day and most of night but need a place to crash then it is fine. I mean, respect boundaries, don't do naked yoga but other than that can't see a problem.

Tent fields with unrelated people and lights on is far weirder.

SleepingStandingUp · 10/06/2021 17:51

@LaurieFairyCake

Well no sex for you or him

Not much of a holiday ConfusedGrin

There's other places to have sex than the bedroom
Ubradgh · 10/06/2021 17:51

It’s not for me or my children who would rather stick pins in their eyes than share a room with us!

steakandcheeseplease · 10/06/2021 17:52

I would have really hated this.

Its actually really making me laugh to imagine you all getting in to bed in your dressing gowns and saying good night then switching the light off Grin

TeeniefaeTroon · 10/06/2021 17:52

I've a 19 year old DD and I wouldn't mind her sharing with us. I find it strange that some posters think it's strange to be honest. In fact we've booked a room in Skye next month for the 4 of us (DS8 too).

angelaEhen · 10/06/2021 17:54

I would want some romantic time with my DH so it would be no for me, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

NerrSnerr · 10/06/2021 17:54

There's other places to have sex than the bedroom

He's 21! He's going to know that they're shagging in the bathroom!

Personally this wouldn't have been for me but I have always liked my own space.

RatsolutelyFabulous · 10/06/2021 17:54

I don’t see an issue with it at all. I’m 25 and regularly go on weekends away with my dad and we share the same room with single beds. Fuck me, my best friend(practically his other daughter) has even shared a room with us both and even she didn’t bat an eyelid.

As long as he doesn’t walk in on you having sex or anything like that, then what’s the problem? It’s a bed to go to sleep in!

Shelovesamystery · 10/06/2021 17:54

I think that's weird.

Movinghouseatlast · 10/06/2021 17:55

God, no. I shared a room with my mum until I was 18. It was horrendous, I hated it.

Can't you afford another room at all? Or is your husband just being a skinflint.

JackieTheFart · 10/06/2021 17:57

I think the range of answers you’ve have here show that you should ask your son.

FWIW I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it but I wouldn’t have liked it

MeadowHay · 10/06/2021 17:57

It's fine. If my parents were taking me on holiday at 21 and paying for me I could hardly demand an additional room for myself! He's lucky you are taking him. I don't understand people who think this 'inappropriate' Confused. You're just sitting in the room together which presumably you all do sometimes anyway and then going to sleep, what's the big deal? I'm in my late 20s and I sometimes share hotel rooms with my DM still if she's paying for me to go somewhere with her and it's not a problem.

zyx12 · 10/06/2021 17:58

Our kids are 17 and 14 and we still get one room where possible as it keeps the cost down as some of the hotels we stay in are quite expensive. I would get changed in the bathroom or the hall as I can appreciate that no one needs to see their parents in a state of undress.

But each to their own, every family has their own way of doing things.

DinosaurDiana · 10/06/2021 17:58

I wouldn’t. Whenever we got to go away again we won’t be sharing with our 16 year old.

zyx12 · 10/06/2021 18:00

That said, when I was on my French exchange, the mum (who I'd not previously met) picked me up in Paris. We stayed there one night before travelling to their house and I had to share a double bed with her. That felt very uncomfortable.

Hallyup6 · 10/06/2021 18:02

At 21 he may be an adult but he's still your child. It's not weird or inappropriate and anyone that thinks that has issues.

Mattsmum2 · 10/06/2021 18:02

I shared a room abroad with my son, 19, daughter, 28 and my mother late 70’s . It was fine. If you’re paying and he’s ok with it there’s not a problem, is there?

LaurieFairyCake · 10/06/2021 18:02

I'm a hotel room there are NO other places to have sex - apart from the bathroom which is even weirder

And you're hardly wanting to be taking it up a back alley on holiday ConfusedGrin

AuntieMarys · 10/06/2021 18:03

God no.

LynetteScavo · 10/06/2021 18:03

It depends what type of a holiday.

I chose to share a room with my parents when we spent one night in a creepy B&B in the middle of nowhere in a country we were driving through.

If it's a week long holiday in Spain where you're mostly lounging by the hotel pool then I can't think of anything worse and sharing would be odd.

miltonj · 10/06/2021 18:04

😂😂

Thefaceofboe · 10/06/2021 18:05

Confused why people seem so disturbed by this? He’s their child ffs. If he’s happy with it, what’s the problem?

Branleuse · 10/06/2021 18:06

I dont see the issue. I assume hes not forced to come?

Sirzy · 10/06/2021 18:08

As long as everyone is comfy with it I really don’t see an issue.