To not want any grandchildren?

[Manzanilla55]

Just that really. I had ds my only child at age 41 and am now 57. By the time he moves out I imagine I will be 62. I just want peace and quiet after that. He doesn't want children either as he has plenty of family on his dad's side in London. Of all ages. I happened to mention in passing I did not want any to a couple of people and boy were they shocked. There are plenty of things to enjoy in life without grandchildren. Am I really unusual and am I missing something here? I just prefer a nice simple life hobbies interests plenty of me time and a modest social life. I don't even crave a bloke. Am I really strange as I just don't feel that I am.

He's young and he could well change his mind. You can't dictate whether or not he has kids, but you can decide not to be an active grandparent if they do come along.

I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting them but I wouldn't take the word of a 16 year old boy saying he doesn't want children!!!

YANBU not to want any, that's your preference. Equally, it's your son's choice as to whether or not he has children. Please don't tell him you don't want grandchildren and just want peace.

Lol no I don't say that Katherine.

It seems odd that you would actively decide that you don’t want your child to have children rather than just deciding that you won’t play an active grandparent role…

Well now you’ve had a child, if you have grandchildren or not is not your choice

He's 16 of course he doesn't want kids. Also in my experience men (more often that not) go with the wishes of their partner I believe. Having a large family is irrelevant. You sound pretty heartless.

It’s not like you get a choice, so whether you want them or not is irrelevant.

Plenty of grandparents don’t spend much time with their grandchildren. If your son does choose to have a family, your level of involvement is still at your discretion.

YANBU but it’s not a decision you get to make.

I think it’s sensible not to assume grandchildren, more and more people are being childfree. I think assuming you will have grandchildren could cause a lot of heartache if your son doesn’t want to have children. I wouldn’t let your son know whether you want them or don’t as that is his (and future partner’s) choice. If he changes his mind, he’d likely want you to be excited. You can also be excited about a grandchild (if he changes his mind) without it impacting your nice, simple life and hobbies.

at least you are honest.
I'd wager more people feel like than but wouldn't ever admit.

I think it's unusual as in I don't know anyone who wouldn't want grandchildren.
But not everyone is suited to have kids/grandkids so there's nothing wrong with knowing what you prefer.

Does anybody else feel the same?

YANBU to not want any but, if they come along you have no choice.
Up to you how much your involved with them.
But of course he’s only 16 op 🙄

It’s not up to you now. You can decide how involved you’ll be if they appear, but you don’t get any say in if you get any.

No 16 year old boy is going to say they want kids. They don’t yet. The reality could be very different at 25, or 35.

I've no interest either

Looks really annoying and dull

I wouldn't be fussed if I never had any, but I would try to be a lovely grandparent if I did.

Even if your son does have children (which he probably will) I don't see how that really affects your life? There's plenty of time for your hobbies and seeing grandchildren once in a while. Most people just want to see their children happy and if that involves them having a family then that's where the joy comes from.

I doubt he'll consult when the time comes. But no harm in making it clear that you won't be a hands-on granny.

I think YANBU here .However if/when they appear ,you could feel very differently! I would not say anything to him ATM.He is very young anyway . why not enjoy yourself and relax /sleep /read while you have the time ?

You can still have hobbies and peace and free time without grandchildren.
What made you decide to have a child?

My in laws see my DC roughly once every 2/3 weeks for around an hour. They live there life as they please. Why would your life have to be any different because you had grandchildren?

YANBU to say you don’t want to be providing regular childcare for any potential DGC.

YANBU not to want any
YABU to expect your son not to have kids just to please you (and YAB slightly U to say you won't have anything to do with them if they do come along)

My youngest is 23 and in a long term stable relationship. His girlfriend is 25 and neither want children.
My older son not in a relationship is 25 and he wants children if he ever mets someone like minded.
It is entirely up to them but if they do they know I am not going to be providing day care on a regularly basis. Emergency, special dates and Sunday tea only.

Well I didn’t, and fully believed my daughter didn’t want kids either. But I’ve been presented with a grandson. You don’t get a say really. Of course, my grandson is not like all those other screaming kids, that other grandparents have. Oh no. He’s a perfect, happy, little angel, super advanced, and gorgeous looking.

You're 57 now and he's 16? He may well want DC a lot further down the line.. you may well be pushing 80 then. I doubt he'd expect you to be a hands-on granny at that age anyway (even if you wanted). I'd not project your views onto him if I was you.