You shouldn't smoke over a baby

[spanielstail]

I saw a woman today with a tiny new born in a pram with no sunshade over it in scorching sun whilst she stood over it smoking a cigarette.

She saw my disgusted look and I didn't feel the tiniest bit bad for it. I know on one hand it's none of my business but I fought so hard to have children. I went through so much IVF and Heartbreak and to think other people have children that they don't care if they are harming just really affects me.

I don't think smoking around children should be legal. That baby will have breathed in second hand smoke whilst she puffed away and then again later off her clothes. The sun was so hot today was well on his delicate skin.

It's really none of your business and you sound really entitled using IVF as an excuse for being judgy. Just own it.

I think it’s fine to be judgmental about smoking over a baby. It’s a shitty thing to do.

Yeah, your not allowed to be "judgy" on here, even when people are putting their children at risk and being neglectful. In the real world, she is a shit mother. Couldn't give a crap if anyone things that's "really judgy" I am judging people who do things like that. They are scum, and they should know it. We have so many people in our family who do shit like this with their kids. Taking drugs around them etc, and nothing happens to the parents, so I know what people like that are like.

I agree with you OP

I largely agree, yes, but habits are hard to break and newborns can be a particularly difficult time to try. That said, a parents responsibility is to protect their child and a big part of that is shielding them from harmful behaviours. I say this as someone who is smoking now (but was a non-smoker until last year, way after baby stage).

But how far are you talking about going here in legal terms? Taking a baby away from its parent if they are a smoker?

I agree. I also hate seeing people ambling along in the bright sunshine wearing caps and/or sunglasses, while their child squints in the stroller

Smoking over a baby deserves all the judgement in the world. It's putting the child at risk. And I enjoy a cigarette myself.

For all you know that lady could have been up all night with her baby, maybe had a death in the family, bad news about her job etc and she just wanted to have a quick puff outside in the air and have one quiet moment. It was absolutely NONE of your business and you may have made her feel even more shit.
How do you know her child wasn't from IVF?

But yeah you've had nightmare IVF so go on ahead throw dirty looks and be judgy. Why not. You've earned it apparently

I 100% agree its disgusting and so incredibly selfish. I hated growing up with smoking parents would get away every chance I got. Poor baby has to sit there breathing in that disgusting smoke.

Tbh I think the sun exposure is just as bad! But yes I agree with you.

She was outside and how do know the child didn't have a high factor sun cream on
Honestly mothers and women in general get so much judgement from other mother's and women so I'm very disheartened to hear you spout and give dirty looks. You made it very very clear to the woman that you were judging her and looking down your nose at her. That's not on you to do that to people. You have no business doing that

Although little point giving dirty looks on the other hand.

Smoking round a kid is just plain rank and stupid, really stupid.

She was outside and how do know the child didn't have a high factor sun cream on

Sun cream doesn't stop a baby inhaling cigarette smoke.

@spanielstail I do know exactly what you mean. When I was going through repeated failed IVF, multiple miscarriages and all the pain and heartbreak of that it was so hard to see people doing things like smoking around babies, being drunk with babies etc. The NHS fertility clinic in Edinburgh is directly facing the maternity ward and heavily pregnant women in dressing gowns used to stand in front of the window of the clinic and chain smoke, you'd be waiting to go in for your appointments and have no choice but to sit and watch them. It was infuriating.

You're totally entitled to feel a bit resentful when you would do absolutely anything to have the joy and privilege of having your own child and you witness others putting their babies at risk. If that's judgy then so be it, who cares. It is what it is and it's a valid feeling given what you've gone through. She shouldn't be smoking over a newborn 🤷‍♀️

Nope that’s disgusting. No one should be subjected to dirty cigarette smoke especially a baby that can’t say go away. I would have given a filthy look too.

I don’t think anyone should smoke over a baby or expose them to the sun when they’re little. I was going to vote YANBU. But then I read your comment about IVF and I really don’t like the link that you had it tough therefore you appreciate your children more and / or have extra right to judge others. And I write as someone who also had IVF (luckily for us in the end successful - doesn’t make me a better parent though).

Sorry op I'm actually not usually as harsh to posters but I just feel really sorry for that mum. She must have felt like shit when she saw you were judging her. I agree smoking round children is not on. .. but it was outside and as I say maybe she just needed that one moment. None of us know what is going on behind the scenes for anyone so give her a break is what I'm trying to say but I've got my knickers in a whole twist over the judgyness but I totally see why you weren't happy with what you were seeing

I'm going to stop ranting now .

And op I'm sorry you had a nightmare with IVF I know it can be an absolutely heartbreaking process

I may agree with you about the smoking over a baby, but it remains none of your business.

She should have been making efforts to shade the baby, of course she should. However, you don't know that it hadn't been slathered in factor 50 suncream before going out. You can't see that once it has soaked in. Unless you asked her, of course.

@Twistered

For all you know that lady could have been up all night with her baby, maybe had a death in the family, bad news about her job etc and she just wanted to have a quick puff outside in the air and have one quiet moment. It was absolutely NONE of your business and you may have made her feel even more shit. How do you know her child wasn't from IVF?

But yeah you've had nightmare IVF so go on ahead throw dirty looks and be judgy. Why not. You've earned it apparently

Who gives a shit if she's been up all night or had bad news, that doesn't mean you go on to harm your tiny baby. Get a grip!

Im not a fierce anti smoker (ex smoker and actually miss them!) but yeah smoking close to children and especially babies is not on.

I'm a smoker and I agree with you ok. What a shitty thing to do, poor kid.
It's illegal to smoke in cars with children in them where I am and I recently saw a woman smoking with a baby in the car seat. Bitch.

Ok......op

Yeah it’s gross and the baby shouldn’t be exposed to full sun either.

But it rankles that you use your IVF as a reason to be even more judgmental, as it implies that people who have had babies without having to go through IVF don’t want/cherish/appreciate/care for them them as much as you do, which is bullshit, and not relevant.