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Original poster

You shouldn't smoke over a baby

172 replies

spanielstail · 09/06/2021 17:32

I saw a woman today with a tiny new born in a pram with no sunshade over it in scorching sun whilst she stood over it smoking a cigarette.

She saw my disgusted look and I didn't feel the tiniest bit bad for it. I know on one hand it's none of my business but I fought so hard to have children. I went through so much IVF and Heartbreak and to think other people have children that they don't care if they are harming just really affects me.

I don't think smoking around children should be legal. That baby will have breathed in second hand smoke whilst she puffed away and then again later off her clothes. The sun was so hot today was well on his delicate skin. Sad

OP posts:
miltonj · 09/06/2021 18:08

@GhostCurry

I agree. I also hate seeing people ambling along in the bright sunshine wearing caps and/or sunglasses, while their child squints in the stroller
That's a bit different! Most babies and toddlers just pull them off. I wouldn't judge for that at all. But agree smoking anywhere near a baby is grim even holding a baby stinking of smoke is not great and potentially very dangerous for newborns.
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 09/06/2021 18:08

@Twistered

She was outside and how do know the child didn't have a high factor sun cream on Honestly mothers and women in general get so much judgement from other mother's and women so I'm very disheartened to hear you spout and give dirty looks. You made it very very clear to the woman that you were judging her and looking down your nose at her. That's not on you to do that to people. You have no business doing that
Hope there's a smoke protection factor on the baby too then. Oh wait, that doesn't exist. So a tiny little babies lungs are filled with smoke. Brilliant. People absolutely should look down their noses at someone smoking all over a newborn. I say that as a smoked with my first 2 children were born. I would never have smoked around them!
Spidey66 · 09/06/2021 18:08

I’m not saying mothers should never ever smoke. I wouldn’t judge someone on a night away from the baby having a snaky fag but not near them. Apart from the health risks it’s settled a bad example.

LST · 09/06/2021 18:09

I've never once smoked infront of my kids. Smoking over a pushchair or even when pushing one is not on imo

mogsrus · 09/06/2021 18:11

Can't imagine anything more repulsive,just suppose she dropped it,or ash fell from it. she's really brain dead

vodkaredbullgirl · 09/06/2021 18:13

Oh another smoking post Smile

Imapotato · 09/06/2021 18:15

It’s not good to smoke around a baby, but they were outside, so I’m not going to declare her the worlds worst mother. At the end of the day no one knows what is going on in her world and if we don’t know we shouldn’t judge.

The girls in the flats by me often smoke with their babies in prams, they’re actually pretty good mums who are trying their best and that’s their vice. It’s not ideal, but I live in the real world and in the grand scheme of harm that can be done to children, it’s not something I'm going to loose any sleep over.

No one would have even batted an eye lid about smoking with a baby in a pram when dd1 was little. Those kids have all grown up fine.

HavelockVetinari · 09/06/2021 18:15

@TheGumption

It's really none of your business and you sound really entitled using IVF as an excuse for being judgy. Just own it.
Entitled? To go through the awfulness of IVF? Hmm

That's a fucking awful thing to say to someone, I hope you're not as nasty in real life as you are hiding behind a keyboard @TheGumption

Glitterblue · 09/06/2021 18:15

I totally agree with you OP, and you shouldn't be made to feel bad by saying about the IVF, because that does come into it. I had a very very premature baby and felt exactly the same having to pass through all the heavily pregnant women smoking in the doorway of the maternity entrance to the hospital when we were going to visit DD in neonatal. It's disgusting to smoke over a newborn - or any child, in fact any person - and you shouldn't be called judgemental for having the opinion you do!

Bourbonic · 09/06/2021 18:16

I think its vile and honestly look forward to the day that smoking anywhere outside of private homes is banned.

LostThings · 09/06/2021 18:21

If you can't be "judgy" about someone harming their child, what can you be "judgy" about? Some of the responses on here are really weird.

Eskarina1 · 09/06/2021 18:22

For everyone telling op what the mum could be going through and how having to have ivf to have children doesn't entitled her to be judgy, she doesn't say she was successful. Her op could easily mean she hasn't been able to have them. In which case, this post is about her pain at not being able to have children as much as it as about smoking. But go ahead, be harsher than you would normally be.

FunTimes2020 · 09/06/2021 18:23

@Twistered

For all you know that lady could have been up all night with her baby, maybe had a death in the family, bad news about her job etc and she just wanted to have a quick puff outside in the air and have one quiet moment. It was absolutely NONE of your business and you may have made her feel even more shit. How do you know her child wasn't from IVF?

But yeah you've had nightmare IVF so go on ahead throw dirty looks and be judgy. Why not. You've earned it apparently

Your post sounds so silly
KarensGobbyChops · 09/06/2021 18:24

Oh Ok OP if you are real yes smoking around babies/children is horrible and thoughtless of course it is.

Having to go through IVF does not make you the better parent however. Good parenting has far more to it than previously having struggled to conceive.

Treaclepie19 · 09/06/2021 18:24

I completely agree. Also to the people saying she could have had suncream on the baby, it isn't recommended before 6 months.

FakeColinCaterpillar · 09/06/2021 18:24

It’s a dirty thing to do. I can remember FIL holding one of his newborn GC having a cigarette, I don’t know why SIL allowed it.
MIL had issues with her lungs when she was older. She never smoked and the doctors were surprised. Imagine what that is doing to a baby.

SuperCaliFragalistic · 09/06/2021 18:24

Just because you've had trouble conceiving it doesn't give you the right to hand out dirty looks to another parent who wasn't interfering in your life at all. I agree that smoking and sun exposure are harmful and preventable but all parents make choices from time to time that aren't 100% perfect. Maybe that child is loved and adored and the mum is making every effort to cut down on her smoking. I doubt if your "dirty look" is helping. Get a hobby that doesn't involve looking down your nose at people.

TheGumption · 09/06/2021 18:25

@HavelockVetinari have a go at comprehension. I didn't say she was entitled because she had IVF. Quite the opposite. I said having had IVF does NOT make you more entitled than anyone else to be judgemental and that's what OP was trying to say. "I'm special I'm allowed to judge this mother". Wrong. I don't care if you think I'm mean 🙄

GhostCurry · 09/06/2021 18:26

@RockingMyFiftiesNot

She was outside and how do know the child didn't have a high factor sun cream on

Sun cream doesn't stop a baby inhaling cigarette smoke.

It’s also not nearly as good as simply putting the baby in the shade. You don’t put factor 50 on a newborn: you simply keep them out of direct sunlight. This is extremely easy to do.
Radziwill · 09/06/2021 18:28

The people harassing the OP for being "judgy" sound the most judgemental of all!

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 09/06/2021 18:28

@GhostCurry oh I totally agree - was in response to a poster who completely ignored the smoking issue.

GhostCurry · 09/06/2021 18:29

miltonj (why can’t I quote your post?) I didn’t mean people should put their toddlers in sunglasses and hats. I meant that they should put the sun visor down. Almost all strollers and prams have them (and if they don’t, they should)

GhostCurry · 09/06/2021 18:30

And just for clarity ... I do think people should put their children in hats and sunglasses, but completely understand that they take them off sometimes. Again - that’s what the shade on the stroller is for.

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/06/2021 18:31

It’s disgusting. And some stunning virtue signalling going on from the “ooh I don’t judge anyone“ brigade. The poor baby couldn’t care less how hard its mum’s life might be. It deserves adequate care which it’s obviously not getting. If people cared a bit more maybe fewer babies and children would have such shit childhoods.

Nanny0gg · 09/06/2021 18:33

@Twistered

For all you know that lady could have been up all night with her baby, maybe had a death in the family, bad news about her job etc and she just wanted to have a quick puff outside in the air and have one quiet moment. It was absolutely NONE of your business and you may have made her feel even more shit. How do you know her child wasn't from IVF?

But yeah you've had nightmare IVF so go on ahead throw dirty looks and be judgy. Why not. You've earned it apparently

Don't care.

Baby should have been shielded from the sun and the smoke

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