You shouldn't smoke over a baby

[spanielstail]

I saw a woman today with a tiny new born in a pram with no sunshade over it in scorching sun whilst she stood over it smoking a cigarette.

She saw my disgusted look and I didn't feel the tiniest bit bad for it. I know on one hand it's none of my business but I fought so hard to have children. I went through so much IVF and Heartbreak and to think other people have children that they don't care if they are harming just really affects me.

I don't think smoking around children should be legal. That baby will have breathed in second hand smoke whilst she puffed away and then again later off her clothes. The sun was so hot today was well on his delicate skin.

So obesity is no. 2. And I, for one, would NEVER have a go at someone or give them a dirty look for being obese.

It's a "choice" to be greedy and fill yourself full of calories you don't need as much as it's a "choice" to smoke - it's a scratch we chose to itch. (Not without cause).

Corporations and companies are making millions of £'s out of us anyway. Can we just stop being horrible to each other?

I’m completely baffled by some of these responses.
You think it’s worse to write about this woman, to give a dirty look to an adult, to judge an adult than it is to cause physical harm to a newborn?

@Royalbloo

It's a "choice" to be greedy and fill yourself full of calories you don't need as much as it's a "choice" to smoke - it's a scratch we chose to itch. (Not without cause).

Corporations and companies are making millions of £'s out of us anyway. Can we just stop being horrible to each other?

I’m more concerned with the safety and well-being of babies and children than hurting an adult’s’ feelings.

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

I know! Crazy aren't they isn't it

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken and all those smokers will just give up as soon as they get those dirty looks 🙄 I wonder why dirty looks aren't part of the NHS smoking cessation programmes 🤔

... Maybe because they'll feel shit and smoke more to ease it. Who knows 🤷‍♀️

MN - protecting kids with dirty looks and scorn

[quote Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel]@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

I know! Crazy aren't they isn't it [/quote]
It’s how child abuse and neglect prevails in our society.
No one wants to have to deal with a disgruntled adult. It’s much easier to ignore and let the child suffer.
All under the guise of “being kind”

The woman is a disgrace

Absolutely not acceptable to smoke anywhere near any child.

[quote WrongWayApricot]@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken and all those smokers will just give up as soon as they get those dirty looks 🙄 I wonder why dirty looks aren't part of the NHS smoking cessation programmes 🤔

... Maybe because they'll feel shit and smoke more to ease it. Who knows 🤷‍♀️

MN - protecting kids with dirty looks and scorn[/quote]
Dirty looks show that it is not acceptable.

It’s not a solution but our culture needs to change. Smiling and looking away isn’t helping children.

What is your solution?

I agree with you

I’m completely baffled by some of these responses.
You think it’s worse to write about this woman, to give a dirty look to an adult, to judge an adult than it is to cause physical harm to a newborn?

This.
The "be kind" brigade are being completely ridiculous.

Smoking around anyone is disgusting, especially a newborn.
I don't care about her reasons or how hard her life is.

Smoking around kids is just disgusting. More worryingly than smoking outside I'd be more judgemental about her smoking indoors at home with the baby because it significantly raises the likelihood of SIDS

@SkodaKodiaq what was the other rant thread about?

@Imapotato

It’s not good to smoke around a baby, but they were outside, so I’m not going to declare her the worlds worst mother. At the end of the day no one knows what is going on in her world and if we don’t know we shouldn’t judge.

The girls in the flats by me often smoke with their babies in prams, they’re actually pretty good mums who are trying their best and that’s their vice. It’s not ideal, but I live in the real world and in the grand scheme of harm that can be done to children, it’s not something I'm going to loose any sleep over.

No one would have even batted an eye lid about smoking with a baby in a pram when dd1 was little. Those kids have all grown up fine.

How on earth do you know that they've all grown up fine?

@spanielstail

I saw a woman today with a tiny new born in a pram with no sunshade over it in scorching sun whilst she stood over it smoking a cigarette.

She saw my disgusted look and I didn't feel the tiniest bit bad for it. I know on one hand it's none of my business but I fought so hard to have children. I went through so much IVF and Heartbreak and to think other people have children that they don't care if they are harming just really affects me.

I don't think smoking around children should be legal. That baby will have breathed in second hand smoke whilst she puffed away and then again later off her clothes. The sun was so hot today was well on his delicate skin.

Tbh you are wrong to throw a look just because you disagree with some. That baby will be breathing more harmful fumes from cars driving by than they will from cigarette smoke being blown at a height above them

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

The solution that is currently working, education, activism (not lone dirty looks), high prices, nrt and counselling. Smoking is lower than it has ever been.

Scowling at people as you walk past them is as effective as beeping a horn at bad driving. It does nothing o make better drivers and adds to road rage.

If you want to protect children's lungs go to a school run and knock on every idling cars window and tell them to turn the engine off.

@miltonj I totally agree, the only way my toddler will keep a hat or sunglasses on would be if I stapled them and I think that's probably a no no

[quote WrongWayApricot]@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

The solution that is currently working, education, activism (not lone dirty looks), high prices, nrt and counselling. Smoking is lower than it has ever been.

Scowling at people as you walk past them is as effective as beeping a horn at bad driving. It does nothing o make better drivers and adds to road rage.

If you want to protect children's lungs go to a school run and knock on every idling cars window and tell them to turn the engine off.[/quote]
Why does it always have to be being either/ or?

Why can’t someone be disgusted about someone smoking over a newborn without having to spend their mornings and afternoons patrolling their local primary school and telling parents to turn off their engines?

I’m sick of pandering to the sensitivities of adults. There is nothing wrong with being appalled by an adult neglecting/ abusing their children and make it show on your face.

Where do you draw the line? Is there really no form abuse or neglect that you would give an involuntary disproving look?

It's grotty.

You just have to accept there are shit parents out there and not be one..

Basically, @WrongWayApricot
You’re judging me for hurting an adult’s feelings.
I’m judging someone for physically harming a newborn.

Op I've just read your comments in those other threads about children. Your experience and sadness about IVF seems to have developed into a resentment directed towards mothers who don't meet your standards. Please please think about the comments and judgyness you are sending out there. Not good for anyone least of all you.

[quote SkodaKodiaq]@spanielstail After your abhorrent spiel on another thread earlier, I'm actually quite concerned about your mental state. I think you need to seek some kind of support[/quote]
Definitely

Not unreasonable at all. It's vile and disgusting. Some mothers just don't give a shite about their babies. I see it all the time. We all judge and those that say they don't are in denial

And I actually think going through IVF gives you more right to judge other parents. It's a natural reaction when you've fought so hard for something others clearly take for granted.

@Blaisealex you sound like your in denial in a massive way