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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go alone? Would you?

185 replies

sallybally34 · 09/06/2021 08:10

I feel embarrassed writing this at my age but today I'm off work and all of my friends are at work.
I really want to go to the beach it's got to be lovely and warm here today.
It's a 10/15 min walk from my house so not far at all.
Aibu to go alone?
I know most people go with families etc but I really want to go down.
I just want to go down,relax,maybe get some chips and ice cream and enjoy the nice weather.

OP posts:
bibliomania · 09/06/2021 12:41

Well done for pushing past your anxiety and doing it. You felt the fear and did it anyway!

Heisbeingweird · 09/06/2021 12:43

@sallybally34

I'm here. I've found a nice quiet spot and it's gorgeous Nobody has batted an eyelid Seen a lot of people alone and lots walking along the promenade and to the lighthouse

I know I sound silly but I have generalised anxiety and trying to work on it.

That's brilliant OP, I know some things can seem impossible that are seemingly so easy for everyone else. The only way to get used to doing things on your own is to do things on your own. It is truly liberating. Have a lovely day there.
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 09/06/2021 12:46

Agree with BagofRats and saraclara, I don't understand why some posters bother to post at all except to display their spectacular ignorance and indifference to people's feelings. Obviously their need to put down is of paramount important and they need to be heard.

I see those same names doing that on numerous threads. Speaks volumes.

ineedaholidayandwine · 09/06/2021 12:51

Very envious OP, enjoy :-)

longtompot · 09/06/2021 12:58

Are you there yet? I do hope so. If Iived a 10-15 min walk from a beach I would there right now! Enjoy your ice cream and chips Smile

Twistered · 09/06/2021 12:58

I'm so so jealous. Sitting on my total own on a beach with a book is exactly what I'd love to be doing right now!

Hope you've a lovely relaxing day op x

BackBeatTheWordisOnTheStreet · 09/06/2021 12:59

Yay, so glad you went OP! I get the anxiety so aside from hopefully having a great day on the beach hopefully you're making strides against the anxiety too.

2andahalfpints · 09/06/2021 13:06

Go! If I lived that close to a beach I'd be there solo all the time 😊

SilverGoblin · 09/06/2021 13:07

That sounds lovely.

I am so envious right now. I love the smell of the sand and sea. Chips and ice cream too...bliss.

Throw in a cold drink, a lie down in the sun with sunglasses and an audiobook...fabulous.

No people to cause a distraction...heaven.

UpTheJunktion · 09/06/2021 13:09

Good for you, OP - I am glad you didn't let your anxiety hold you back, and I hope the loveliness of your day gives you the security to do more of same in future.

Go OP!

Willlowbanks · 09/06/2021 13:13

Good for you! Enjoy your day.

YouKnowItsTrue · 09/06/2021 13:14

Good decision! Enjoy your day OP Smile

LondonJax · 09/06/2021 13:16

Well done @sallybally34.

It takes a bit of courage if you have anxieties, sometimes, to do the things that others find perfectly straightforward to do. So ignore those who say 'just do it' and enjoy your chips/ice cream (or if you're me - both!!)

Crowtooyo · 09/06/2021 13:17

I have similar anxiety to you and I'm single. There's been many weekends where I'd end up feeling really rubbish because other people were out enjoying nice weather and I couldn't pluck up the courage to go alone. For me it was always the fear of seeing someone I know and them thinking I was a loser. But why would they? The times I've managed it, I had a lovely time. Used to get some chips, take a magazine and head in a few shops / amusements!

1forAll74 · 09/06/2021 13:19

I would go alone, but only if the beach has some big empty spaces, with no noisy families and all their stuff all over the place.

fashionablefennel · 09/06/2021 13:21

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

Agree with BagofRats and saraclara, I don't understand why some posters bother to post at all except to display their spectacular ignorance and indifference to people's feelings. Obviously their need to put down is of paramount important and they need to be heard.

I see those same names doing that on numerous threads. Speaks volumes.

Not everyone on this thread is from the UK, and not everyone from the same culture.

I think it's actually very important to express how strange and unusual it feels to see a woman asking about going to the beach alone. It is so normal and common here, it needs to be said.

You don't know who is reading this, it might help someone.

IntoAir · 09/06/2021 13:21

Used to get some chips, take a magazine and head in a few shops / amusements!

My definition of a perfect Sunday afternoon!

Hallyup6 · 09/06/2021 13:24

Sounds great for your mental health. I wouldn't hesitate if I had that option.

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 09/06/2021 13:29

@sallybally34

I feel embarrassed writing this at my age but today I'm off work and all of my friends are at work. I really want to go to the beach it's got to be lovely and warm here today. It's a 10/15 min walk from my house so not far at all. Aibu to go alone? I know most people go with families etc but I really want to go down. I just want to go down,relax,maybe get some chips and ice cream and enjoy the nice weather.
It really eye-opening for me that an adult would ask this. If the beach is 10/15 mins from your house, surely you must have walked there alone before?

Yes - go! Have fun. Even if it was half an hour's walk, or an hour - what's the issue?

BumbleFlump · 09/06/2021 13:30

Go go go, why wouldn’t you 🤷🏻‍♀️

Redcrayons · 09/06/2021 13:31

@SoupDragon

Definitely go alone!
If I lived 10 minute walk from the beach I’d be there all the time. Glad you went OP. The first time I went to the cinema on my own, I thought I’d die of shame. Actually it was really nice, ate all the popcorn myself and splashed out on the fancy chairs.
Redcrayons · 09/06/2021 13:32

@SoupDragon didn’t mean to quote you, sorry. Stupid phone.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 09/06/2021 13:46

That's your opinion, fashionanblefennel, there are ways and means of expressing surprise without being a dick to the OP, putting her down. It is often the same posters who do it too.

Actually, why are you making excuses for it? It has nothing whatsoever to do with culture, it has everything to do with encouraging, as most others managed to do.

BagORats · 09/06/2021 15:07

Random people who might read it in the future (although I still don't get your point) are less important than the OP who is seeking reassurance dealing with anxiety.

Posting something utterly dismissive and snarky just because you can us quite inappropriate

fashionablefennel · 09/06/2021 15:53

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

That's your opinion, fashionanblefennel, there are ways and means of expressing surprise without being a dick to the OP, putting her down. It is often the same posters who do it too.

Actually, why are you making excuses for it? It has nothing whatsoever to do with culture, it has everything to do with encouraging, as most others managed to do.

It has nothing whatsoever to do with culture? of course it has, how can you fail to realise it's not "normal" or "acceptable" for women to be seen out alone in every culture?!? In some places it's very dangerous to do so.Women only got driving licences in Saudi Arabia since 2018!

But in this country, it's just getting ridiculous not to accomplish basic things alone.

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