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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go alone? Would you?

185 replies

sallybally34 · 09/06/2021 08:10

I feel embarrassed writing this at my age but today I'm off work and all of my friends are at work.
I really want to go to the beach it's got to be lovely and warm here today.
It's a 10/15 min walk from my house so not far at all.
Aibu to go alone?
I know most people go with families etc but I really want to go down.
I just want to go down,relax,maybe get some chips and ice cream and enjoy the nice weather.

OP posts:

BagORats · 09/06/2021 09:13

@YellowFish12

Jesus Christ you really need to ask MN if you can go to the beach on your own?

The mind boggles at the lack of self autonomy and living a life so self limiting.

Some people struggle immensely with the feeling of being judged by others. For those people (like me) it can feel quite overwhelming to do things by yourself that it would be more normal to do with other people like go to the beach, sit in a cafe or restaurant.

Try not to be an arse. You don't know what other people struggle with or for what reason, and it just makes you look nasty.

emmathedilemma · 09/06/2021 09:13

Why wouldn't you??

JeanClaudeVanDammit · 09/06/2021 09:14

Do it! That sounds like a lovely day.

We were at the beach last week and there were a few people who looked like they live locally and had come to sit and read a book for an hour or so. I was quite jealous.

BeetyAxe · 09/06/2021 09:15

God I would love to go to the beach on my own.and then back to a hotel to read my book and sleep alone. God I’m tired😂

saraclara · 09/06/2021 09:16

@YellowFish12 do you really think your post will help someone who needs to ask this question?

OP, I'm widowed, and retired while my family and friends still work, so have to do most things alone. I get that it can feel odd belong alone and surrounded by families, initially. But yes, get yourself out there. Look around and you'll see plenty of people like you, sitting on a bench or walking or reading.

I take long holidays abroad on my own, and it's absolutely fine. You're lucky enough to live very near a beach, so enjoy it! You have a whole summer ahead to make the most of it.

KeepingTrack · 09/06/2021 09:17

Of course you can!!!

I read your title and thought it would be about having IVF whilst single or something like that. Not going to the beach (or the restaurant etc....)

Please go for it and enjoy your day :)

Spidey66 · 09/06/2021 09:18

Another who thinks it's strange to ask. It's 2021, you don't need a chaperone everywhere you go.

ChangePart1 · 09/06/2021 09:18

This is the strangest thread ever, what's going through your mind to even consider that it might be unreasonable to go to the beach on your own?

M0rT · 09/06/2021 09:19

Definitely go! Don't forget to get a 99, there is a flake shortage on the horizon....
I recommend "My therapist ghosted me" if you want a lighthearted podcast.

Hobnobsandbroomstick · 09/06/2021 09:19

I work shifts so have lots of weekdays off. I love a day to myself, walks with a good audio book and then lunch at a nice cafe. Shopping when it's not busy, or a cinema trip in peace. Love it.

Very jealous that you live within walking distance of a beach!

bigbaggyeyes · 09/06/2021 09:20

Oh absolutely go alone, it'll be bliss... take a blanket, snacks a drink and a book and have a lovely day. In v jealous

KeepingTrack · 09/06/2021 09:21

Btw I just want reiterate.

It’s OK and NORMAL to go to the beach/the restaurant/museum/whatever else on their own. Some people live alone, some people will want a break from their family. Some people just have an opportunity and grab it (and let’s face it the days with the beautiful weather we’ve had are massive opportunities not to be missed). It’s all fine :)

Plus let’s be honest, if I had to chose, I’d rather go now during the week and out of the school hols than during the weekend with family. Weekends are busy and often a pain in the arse (other people’s children dogs and whatnot). Whereas week days can be so much quieter and enjoyable.

BelleBlueBell · 09/06/2021 09:22

Goodness, are there some control issues at play here OP?

Your views are really quite unusual imo, where would you get the idea that only families can go to the beach? You know that single people go on outings all the time, people whose partners don't want to go with them or aren't available etc

KeepingTrack · 09/06/2021 09:25

I’m not sure why so many people find the question so weird tbh.

I wouldn’t have thought twice about it and certainly not in the ‘what will people think’ way.
But I can also remember feeling really weird being alone on a restaurant. And at the weekend, if I’m on my own, I will chose a takeaway to going to the same restaurant for an evening meal. Because it feels out of place to be on your own when everyone else is with at least one person.

It’s not much different. When you have done an activity always with other people, it can feel very strange to then do it in your own.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 09/06/2021 09:25

It’s not just single people! I love doing stuff on my own. If DH can’t get the same time off as me, in normal times, I get on a plane and go somewhere. Spa, theatre, cinema, restaurant- I find it alien to think that these are ‘off limits’ if you’re on your own! Why?!

Heisbeingweird · 09/06/2021 09:26

Oh come on OP, this shouldn't be a question. Seriously stop worrying about going anywhere alone (unless it's a safety issue) and the world will open up. I have lots of friends, a family and I am often at the beach alone or hanging out in the park.

Hoolihan · 09/06/2021 09:28

Totally baffling that you should need to ask this as it's a completely normal and everyday thing to do. I live 10 mins walk from the beach too and I go alone whenever I get the opportunity!

I read a helpful analogy recently about feeling like you're being looked at/judged: in any given situation imagine all the people there are stick people of equal size, a great crowd of them. In your head you are a GIANT stick person, the only giant present, you stick out like a sore thumb and your every move and action is highly visible and interesting to the small sticks, because you're so huge. This is how lots of people feel in a group/crowd. However what you must remember is that each individual is their own giant, and to them you are just part of the crowd of regular sized stick people. People are too busy thinking about themselves to take any notice of others in ordinary circumstances.

So go to beach and enjoy the fact that no-one is passing judgement at all, you are just a little stick person going about your business.

beingsunny · 09/06/2021 09:29

Goodness yes!

I live by the beach too, used to try and go for a mini swim at lunch, the beach isn't always a social thing, it's the perfect place to take a book or listen to something alone!

I have DC so beach trips haven't been relaxing for years, only this last summer at an age I don't need to hover by the waters edge and can lie back and read Mumsnet on my phone for an hour.

What a lovely luxury, take snacks, water, book, magazine phone and a nice big towel to lie on and enjoy 😊

billy1966 · 09/06/2021 09:30

Absolutely, music, a book, the fresh air, the peace...
What's not to love.

Justinversusmrtumble · 09/06/2021 09:31

Why wouldn’t you go alone? Is that weird 🤷🏻‍♀️🙈I live abroad and a walk to the beach. Before dd came along and I wasn’t working, I’d walk down with my headphones on, sometimes treat myself to a sun bed, magazines and a cocktail..it was sheer heaven! Has been nearly four years since I’ve been able to do that..god, I miss it!
Enjoy! ☀️

PotassiumChloride · 09/06/2021 09:33

I’m genuinely perplexed as to why you think this would be a problem. It’s absolutely fine to go on your own.

MustardRose · 09/06/2021 09:33

Go! It sounds like absolute bliss to me.

Crowsandshivers · 09/06/2021 09:33

Of course! I would enjoy it so much more alone. Nice book and some peace.

MostlyNormalSometimesOdd · 09/06/2021 09:33

I work on an oil platform offshore for 3 weeks at a time, DP doesn't hesitate to go to the beach (or do anything else) on her own when I'm away

Shorthairlady · 09/06/2021 09:35

Just go! You'll have a great time, soak up some rays, relax. I went to a pub by myself last week - first time since Covid started. Couldn't stop smiling at myself as I missed doing that so much. You can do anything you want without having other people involved (except maybe riding a tandem bike )

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