Neighbour complaining about noise

[YoureGoingToHateMe]

I have 2dc - 5yo and 8yo - and today a neighbour came over to ask me to take them inside as they were making too much noise. It was at about 6pm and they’d been playing outside for no more than 45 minutes. Dc2 is partially deaf and is currently being assessed for autism. He sings constantly, not screaming but it is loud and it’s repetitive. Generally it’s the theme from Pirates of the Caribbean while he’s in the garden, occasionally other similar tunes but always the same tune once he has started iyswim.

Neighbour claims it has been going on for hours (it hadn’t, it was definitely around 45 minutes, that she is unable to open the windows in her house as it means she can’t hear her tv/ radio: husband talking and that it had been going on all summer, she just couldn’t stand it anymore and unless I did something about it she would be reporting me to the council.

This neighbour is a second home owner, she only came down around a month ago and is generally here 3-4 days a week. Both our gardens are fairly large and have tress planted down the side. I’ve hopefully attached a diagram as it’s hard to explain that she’s not our direct neighbour but also is, if that makes any sense at all.

I don’t doubt she can hear him while she is in the garden but there is absolutely no way the noise is drowning out her tv etc as she’s claiming. It’s also only been going on for the last couple of weeks as the weather has been so awful lately that we’ve barely been in the garden anyway. The most we’re ever in the garden is a couple of hours a day and most of that time I’ll be out there with them anyway and when I’m there I always make sure dc2 is keeping noise down and distract him from his otherwise constant singing. For the last couple of weeks they’ve been going out for half an hour or so after tea while I’m inside clearing up. It’s never later than 7pm and never before about 10 in the morning.

I explained to her that dc2 was partially deaf and being assessed for autism. She said that’s not her problem (fair enough but I was just trying to explain why he does it) and that next time she heard it she would be recording it and making a noise diary as she had seen suggested on the council website.

AIBU to let dc play in the garden despite knowing how much noise dc2 makes while I’m inside?

TL:DR neighbour expects me to keep my admittedly noisy child quiet while in the garden even though it’s only ever for short periods of time during the day

Out of interest, how did you manage that with your child with additional needs? I'd be happy to listen to your method, mine still does the verbal stuff on a loop at 14.

yeah yeah yeah - all of you with DC with additional needs jumping on this. I didn't say ANYTHING at all about handling it so get off your high horses. It IS annoying to have that loudness on a loop and any of you who say you love it are lying. It is loud and it's annoying. And acknowledging that is fine because it's true. It is also true that the OP is, presumably, trying to help her child fit into a NT world because we all have to, some are better than others.

And the neighbour is perfectly entitled to be annoyed by it. My neighbour has Baby Fucking Shark on in the garden all fucking day. It drives me absolutely bonkers, and i have asked her if she could do t a bit more quietly sometimes. She hates it too but her toddler loves it. It is still ok to say it's annoying.

How does anyone know if the neighbour has any MH issues of her own? nobody does. How about being a bit more tolerant of everyone even while we all acknowledge that for some people it is difficult to be quiet and not annoying

That sounds fine to me if it's only short periods. I live in an area where culturally huge families are the norm. So kids garden noise is now white noise to me & it usually over by 7pm. What does get me is the woman who sends her kids out onto the pavement for 3hours every night with a football .They've had several near misses with cars & the screeching is off the scale . We only get a break if it's raining
There's a park literally a 2 min walk away if she has no garden.

I would quite like her to report us to the council tbh. It’ll be my mum that she’s reporting us to

Then why are you even worrying or asking us? Have a word with your mum and ask her to confirm the general view here that this level of noise is perfectly normal and yourown y use of your own home. If she mentions it to you again, tell her you've confirmed with someone from the council that you're doing nothing wrong. If she reports you, your mum tells her to get lost. You don't have a problem here.

Obviously if your mum doesn't agree that she doesn't have a case - that's the person you need to hear from, not us!

It's very sad if anyone actually really thinks a little boy who cannot hear properly and therefore sings really loudly, should not be allowed to do so in his own garden for 45 minutes!

And that someone's need for peace and quiet trumps that!

I'm extremely easily irritated by the noises of others, and I too would find it annoying as does his own mum! BUT as adults we have to find ways to deal with it. The complainant is an adult, who when told the singer who disturbs her is a partially deaf boy of five, really didn't care.

Surely no one could reasonably suggest that her 'needs' should override a young child's need to be allowed to sing in the garden?

He can't tone it down a notch, because he doesn't have the ability to do that!

Tell her that you're sorry you can't help with her problem. Suggest she buys earplugs.