AIBU to think weddings are a massive hassle

[Mexicantortilla]

Just realised the wedding we were invited to about a year ago is in 4 weeks, 1 I don’t have time to shop for an outfit, 2 I’ve just looked online and discovered dresses cost over £100! 3. It’s on a Friday so means booking an annual leave day 4. Just also realised riding boots or work shoes won’t be suitable and I don’t think my feet have worn anything else for years! Seriously think I’m giving back word, ..,,,and god knows about a gift....this is a total headache! Why would anyone want to go to a wedding?

@Elbels

I bloody love a wedding, getting dressed up? Seeing two people in love celebrate their relationship? Hanging out with my friends for the day? Lovely food and booze? Everyone is a good mood? Music? Dancing?

It's the best!

I find the bummer attitude towards weddings from people on Mumsnet absolutely baffling.

This ^ x 100%

I too am completely baffled as to why so many people dislike weddings - or, if they do, why they go

Obviously most of the issues in the OP are completely down to her own lack of planning - she has known about it for a year
However, I don't understand the thinking that you have to go out and buy a new outfit. Of course you don't. Even if you choose to, then it doesn't have to cost £100.

Hire a dress;

siodauk.com/collections/dresses

I'm biased - I know the women that have set this company up, but I can personally vouch for the high quality of the clothes and they will definitely have beautiful dresses in your size!

www.freemans.com/products/laura-scott-chiffon-cape-blouse/_/A-66080829_14?utm_source=GoogleProductList&utm_medium=PLA&utm_campaign=Womens_Tops_BlousesAndShirts&utm_content=66080829&ns_campaign=Womens_Tops_BlousesAndShirts&ns_mchannel=PLA&ns_source=GoogleProductList&ns_linkname=66080829&ns_fee=0&utm_medium=cpc&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI293AsYSJ8QIV9xoGAB2-ewZ0EAQYCiABEgKIUvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
This is along the lines of what I was thinking but maybe a more summery colour/print? Has anyone seen anything?

Have a look at TK Maxi, plenty of dresses well under £100 . John Lewis also have lots of dresses at 50% off

www.kaleidoscope.co.uk/products/heine-oversized-chiffon-print-top/_/A-49896848_8?utm_source=GoogleProductList&utm_medium=PLA&utm_campaign=Tops&utm_content=49896848_8&ns_campaign=Tops&ns_mchannel=PLA&ns_source=GoogleProductList&ns_linkname=49896848_8&ns_fee=0&ordermedia=K5229&name=PLA’s%20–%20Google&entry=3&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI293AsYSJ8QIV9xoGAB2-ewZ0EAQYDiABEgJ67vD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
This!!! But it’s out of stock

www.google.co.uk/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwjb3cCxhInxAhX3GgYAHb57BnQYABBKGgJ3cw&ae=2&sig=AOD64_0IyYYoYRQqy9dwhwup5XZjdMhk4w&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwiUormxhInxAhXMiVwKHcL7Bo8Qwg96BQgBELkC&dct=1&adurl=
Would something like this be ok to wear or not? There’s quite a few prints to choose from, thought with light coloured trousers maybe and some sparkly sandals??

DH is going on both the groom's stag do holidays which will total around 1k.
Good enough for two stags but not good enough for a full wedding invitation?

www.newlook.com/uk/womens/clothing/tops/curves-black-floral-wrap-blouse/p/686778809 They have this in a 22

@Mexicantortilla

www.google.co.uk/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwjb3cCxhInxAhX3GgYAHb57BnQYABBKGgJ3cw&ae=2&sig=AOD64_0IyYYoYRQqy9dwhwup5XZjdMhk4w&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwiUormxhInxAhXMiVwKHcL7Bo8Qwg96BQgBELkC&dct=1&adurl= Would something like this be ok to wear or not? There’s quite a few prints to choose from, thought with light coloured trousers maybe and some sparkly sandals??

That would be fine. But how posh is it?

Yep @choli !

It's annoyed me a lot but DH still wants to go on the stags and to the reception.

Would something like this be ok to wear or not? There’s quite a few prints to choose from, thought with light coloured trousers maybe and some sparkly sandals??

It's being sent from China though, so you would have to order immediately as may take 4 weeks to arrive

Looks ideal to me!

YABU. I can't see the problem. And as a few posters have said, you don't have to go.

You'd be welcome at my wedding in those tops OP (I don't know why I keep talking about my wedding, I have no intention of ever getting married - but you're welcome to my imaginary non-existent wedding OP!)

www.yoursclothing.co.uk

Try this website x

www.boohoo.com/blue-plus-chiffon-ruffle-smock-top/PZZ06589-4.html?color=367

Would need a vest under

I don't like weddings and have only been to a few (siblings weddings).

I think it's perfectly acceptable to be polite and give apologies for weddings.

When a lot of my friends got married, I had just had our first child and we had bought a house and money was a tight. My friends from uni were quite wealthy middle class and I simply could not afford the hen do, wedding, accommodation, gifts etc

You’re being melodramatic. You’ve had 4 years notice

Just realised the wedding we were invited to about a year ago is in 4 weeks, 1 I don’t have time to shop for an outfit, 2 I’ve just looked online and discovered dresses cost over £100! 3. It’s on a Friday so means booking an annual leave day 4. Just also realised riding boots or work shoes won’t be suitable and I don’t think my feet have worn anything else for years! Seriously think I’m giving back word, ..,,,and god knows about a gift....this is a total headache! Why would anyone want to go to a wedding?

1. Wear something you already own, or borrow an outfit from a friend?
2. I have never ever paid £100 for a dress in my life. I went to four weddings in 2019, bought a dress for £15 (it was on sale from Oasis) and wore it to all of them, with the same bag and shoes. I'll probably wear it again to a upcoming wedding this summer 🤷‍♀️.
3. Well you have had a years notice to book it off?
4. It's summer, get some comfy but nice sandals, accessorize do nice ones.

Or just don't go if you can't be bothered, bit rude to back out with 4 weeks notice though. I only go to weddings that I want to go to.

@MadameQuaver

I agree weddings can be a hassle and also very expensive to attend.

DH's friend is getting married in August. It's over 200 miles away and we're only invited to the evening 'do'.

It's in a posh location in the middle of nowhere so we've had to book a room at the venue for the night, which is £400. DH is going on both the groom's stag do holidays which will total around 1k. Then there's travel costs, a wedding present, and possibly new outfits for DH and I as it's at a very posh venue and we've not been to anything like that in yonks.

So yes, lots of hassle and lots of expense. I'm sure we'll have a good time though.

Wtf? How can your DH make the cut for two stag do’s but not for a day invite?!

But to answer OPs question, YABU. You don’t have to go. And you’ve had a year to sort all this stuff out.

OP - please please don't wait until 21st to sort an outfit if 4 weeks seems not enough time for you to order an outfit online.

Just order something now, if you like it, keep with the tags on. On 22nd return if the wedding isn't going ahead.

But if you wait until 22nd June, you know you will cancel/spend more than you want on an outfit in a panic.

YABU

if you can't be arsed, just ... decline.

I love weddings, even wedding abroad! , great occasion to go to places you wouldn't have thought normally, you make a holiday or a weekend of the whole thing.

I don't get the drama on MN, and I am also confused how can someone not own at least ONE outfit suitable for an event, and why others feel they MUST buy a new outfit every time they receive an invitation.

Even the new Mrs Boris Johnson rented her wedding dress, and didn't feel the need to buy something.

To add, I normally decline all "evening only" invitations, unless it's someone so not close to me they were genuinely being nice, not putting the numbers up with a 2 tier system

Haha I'm not voting on this one because I'd probably feel the same way but I wanted people to come to my wedding and I know its unreasonable really!

I agree with you. There were a couple of years in my twenties where every weekend in the summer was taken up with attending someone's wedding. Often couldn't wear the same dress because a lot of them were the same friendship group, so had to source different outfits. Then the buying of the present, sometimes from the incredibly presumptuous 'wedding lists' and feeling embarrassed about having to give one or two sideplates, because that was all we could afford. Then having to actually turn up, and locate the church/registry office, teeter back the car afterwards, and then head for some hideous room in a naff Hilton hotel, or a village hall somewhere, while waiting around hours as the wedding party posed outside for endless photos, to then have to sit and endure a revolting meal, with people you'd rather not, followed by having to get up and have a little dance on a cake and crisp strewn dance floor, while waiting desperately for the bride and groom to leave, so that you could.

No thank you.