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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think weddings are a massive hassle

243 replies

Mexicantortilla · 08/06/2021 20:56

Just realised the wedding we were invited to about a year ago is in 4 weeks, 1 I don’t have time to shop for an outfit, 2 I’ve just looked online and discovered dresses cost over £100! 3. It’s on a Friday so means booking an annual leave day 4. Just also realised riding boots or work shoes won’t be suitable and I don’t think my feet have worn anything else for years! Seriously think I’m giving back word, ..,,,and god knows about a gift....this is a total headache! Why would anyone want to go to a wedding?

OP posts:
ArgyleIsle · 08/06/2021 21:56

Try EBay for all of your outfit including shoes. Loads of 'once worn' ( as none of us wear our smart stuff again) outfits and factory over makes.
Save money and the planet.
Posted to you too.

Original poster
Mexicantortilla · 08/06/2021 22:00

Yes but it’s trial and error if it doesn’t fit/suit and then you end up with a pile of stuff that’s useless and can’t be returned either and still have a problem of nothing to wear

OP posts:
MadameQuaver · 08/06/2021 22:03

Lots of places do Tall ranges now, and go up to at least a size 20. Dorothy Perkins has a good Tall range, also Next. You could get something like a plain maxi dress, and dress it up with jewellery and accessories. Wear with flat sandals if you don't like heels.

RampantIvy · 08/06/2021 22:11

I find the bummer attitude towards weddings from people on Mumsnet absolutely baffling

So do I.

OP please tell the couple now that you aren't going so that they can invite someone who wants to be there. You sound very inconsiderate and thoughtless..

Echobelly · 08/06/2021 22:13

Get a dress in a charity shop. Lots of formal dresses that have only been worn once or a handful of times available at most of them.

Ilovemaisie · 08/06/2021 22:13

Just don't go. The typical stereotype wedding is everything I hate - formal meal, 'nice' clothes, people drinking too much alcohol, dancing and a band.... urgh. The whole lot makes me want to vomit.
Seriously just don't bother. Unless the bride or groom is a sibling or the best friend you have had since you were 3 I doubt they will notice you aren't there.

Moonshine11 · 08/06/2021 22:18

I absolutely love a wedding!
Dressed up, everyone having a drink, dancing, chatting to new people! Always a good day!

But to add you don’t necessarily have to pay a lot for a dress, ASOS is great for tall ranges.
It doesn’t have to be extra fancy if your not used to dressing up, plain block colour and dress it with jewellery, nice shoes bag etc.

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/06/2021 22:26

ASOS has a massive sale on right now. Have a look. Pretty flip flops are everywhere at the moment.

Needing an outfit isn’t a shock, 4 weeks is loads of notice. We planned our whole wedding in 2 months with time to spare.

You accepted the invitation so yes you’ll need to book the leave.

What you mean is AYBU to be annoyed you’re disorganised and being rather dramatic about it when it was avoidable. And the answer is yes. So just get on with it and start shopping.

RodiganReed · 08/06/2021 22:35

I feel sad for the couple who want to share their special day with you, you obviously don't care for them much.

If you were invited to my wedding I wouldn't care less what you were wearing, presumably I'd have invited you in the knowledge you're not a glamour puss!

MrsMoastyToasty · 08/06/2021 22:37

We have a wedding to attend on one of the Scottish Islands. There's no airport there so we have to drive and catch 2 ferries each way. We budget 3 tanks if diesel (we're in the south west of England). We also need to book somewhere to stay as all the accommodation with family has already been allocated. Add to that kilt hire for DH and DS and a frock for me. A present to buy and money for drinks. We're looking at a grand already.

MustardRose · 08/06/2021 22:38

Other people's weddings are something that I find myself struggling to care about all that much. Yes I'll go, and I will enjoy it (the poncetastic ones not so much) but I wouldn't be planning in advance what outfit I'm going to wear. I usually find something the weekend before. Nobody's going to be looking at me or care one jot what I'm wearing anyway.

theresarugonmyfloor · 08/06/2021 22:45

Yes they are a pain. I am a grinch, but I'm late 30s now I am past the age of enjoying going to a wedding every month.

I have just declined an evening only invite, on a Thursday night, an hours drive away. On a school/work night, honestly, as if! Confused

I told you I am a grinch!

DrSbaitso · 08/06/2021 22:46

I like them. Presumably you had decent notice and chose to go.

People usually go because they care about the couple and want to celebrate with them. If that's not how you feel, you're better off making excuses.

miltonj · 08/06/2021 22:46

I absolutely love weddings. It's a party, celebrating friends and family, lots of booze and food. What's. It to like.
People put a lot of effort into planning weddings and they want their day to be lovely. They might have spent a lot of time thinking about their guests and what would make them comfortable and enjoy the day. They probably don't want people who don't want to be there to attend. Don't go if you don't want to.

Serpenta · 08/06/2021 22:48

I've put some links on your other thread so hopefully you'll be inundated with options! Stress buying a wedding outfit can be...not fun.

Original poster
Mexicantortilla · 08/06/2021 22:50

@AnneLovesGilbert I quite like the navy one! Have you seen any sort of floaty type tops? Think like chiffon type that would look ok with pale coloured trousers?

OP posts:
massiveportion · 08/06/2021 22:51

The inconsiderate swines could have given you a bit of notice. Oh wait...

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/06/2021 22:51

@MrsMoastyToasty

We have a wedding to attend on one of the Scottish Islands. There's no airport there so we have to drive and catch 2 ferries each way. We budget 3 tanks if diesel (we're in the south west of England). We also need to book somewhere to stay as all the accommodation with family has already been allocated. Add to that kilt hire for DH and DS and a frock for me. A present to buy and money for drinks. We're looking at a grand already.
You don’t want to go. So decline.
Original poster
Mexicantortilla · 08/06/2021 22:52

@miltonj it’s not that I don’t want to go...it’s the bloody hassle of it all

OP posts:
Original poster
Mexicantortilla · 08/06/2021 22:55

@massiveportionGrin yes! They know I’m bloody busy! Seriously I think I really thought it wouldn’t happen with lockdown etc...,I’ve just googled and think you can only have 30 guests and maybe this won’t change before July? So maybe, just maybe, I hold off til after 21st June and problem might be solved?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 08/06/2021 22:56

Buy a decent top and shoes anyway!

miltonj · 08/06/2021 22:56

[quote Mexicantortilla]@miltonj it’s not that I don’t want to go...it’s the bloody hassle of it all[/quote]
Ah fair enough! In that case. Hope you manage to get everything sorted and have a brill time on the day Smile