[quote Tinkling]@QuentinBunbury
My mother imposed partners upon me without discussion, repeatedly. I spent a long time in therapy talking about how I didn’t feel good enough, how I wasn’t listened to or respected. I ended up with an eating disorder and OCD. My sibling also has had therapy. That’s the headlines, there’s more than that.
Just because nobody has done a study doesn’t mean it isn’t going on. Everyone should feel safe in their own homes and having boundaries crossed because their parent doesn’t like the answer isn’t good enough IMO.[/quote]
I think this was the point a number of poster's were trying to make.
Unfortunately like your mother, there are posters who would have thought your mother indulgent to have given your feelings any thought or consideration.
I can only imagine how hard that must have been and how the effects have impacted your life.
There is so much talk about privilege today, I think a calm, safe, secure home unfortunately has become a privilege that so many children don't get to enjoy.
As @Sssloou also said, OP's daughter's clinginess comes from a place of insecurity.
14 is an age where they are no longer young children but very young teens that are trying to find their place in their world.
Home is their security blanket that they love to retreat to.
Teens get tired from their engagement with their peers, their bedrooms are a break from being "on".
I'm not so very old that I can't remember that clearly.
I really hope the OP appreciates that she may not be the only one in the house engulfed in grief after all that they have been through, and gives her daughter the space and crucially, the privacy she needs, in her own home.