DH pulled my skirt up - AIBU to feel angry?

[Undecidedandtorn]

Just before getting indoors from a trip out today my husband pulled my dress up and flashed my pants. He said that he had checked and there wasn't anyone coming down the street who could see (which I of course didn't know) but when I turned around there were some people up the road - he said they were too far away to see but I'm not 100% sure this is true (I'm 99% sure its true).

Its been about 3 hours and I am still really angry about this even though he has apologised. AIBU?

Genuinely surprised so far 21% think YABU.

I hope you resolve this soon so it never happens again.

I dont get the problem, its just joking around, lighten up there are far more serious things to get worked up over.

‘Lighten up’ is a really horribly patronising phrase. It’s the sort of thing pervy men say when they’ve been called out for being pervy.

I wouldn’t thank him for doing it in public but maybe he just really likes your ass and was feeling a wee bit frisky and playful. He misjudged but don’t hold it over him too much.

I read some posts on here saying it’s assault - I assume your men get you to sign a consent form before they lean in for a kiss . Xx

Humiliating and disrespectful. Would you pull his trousers down, no of course not.

It boils my piss when my husband does this kind of thing. His latest trick was to pull my shorts AND pants down (think loose summer floaty clothes) INFRONT OF MY DAD! In turn, flashing my not so recently mown lady garden. I instantly reached out and smacked him round the face, hard. I shocked myself, I shocked him and I shocked my dad but he hasn’t dared pull a stunt like that again! I shouldn’t encourage violence as you might get a name as a husband beater, but could be worth a try!

Cookie- sounds like he deserved it! What an idiot

What’s the problem? Sometimes when me and hubby are going I the house we grab each other’s bums or give it a wee slap. It keeps our cheeky spark going. Once I was going in the front door and he grabbed my bum and I dropped the shopping and broke the eggs. Did I go ballistic at him? Nope had a good chuckle and then sent him back to get more eggs 😂

@MrsTerryPratchett yes!

@linsey2581

What’s the problem? Sometimes when me and hubby are going I the house we grab each other’s bums or give it a wee slap. It keeps our cheeky spark going. Once I was going in the front door and he grabbed my bum and I dropped the shopping and broke the eggs. Did I go ballistic at him? Nope had a good chuckle and then sent him back to get more eggs 😂

If you turned a corner and saw a boy girl teens, and he'd pulled her skirt up in the middle of the (apparently empty) Street. And she looked angry/ flustered/ shocked/ upset...

You'd think hohoho young love eh.

Cookie you're not being serious

Lots of ooo er missus comments from names+numbers on this thread.

@NiceGerbil but we are not talking about a teenage boy and girl, we are talking about a grown up married couple.

What a idiot

I think I'm a bit in love with @DrSbaitso for being more articulate than my brain can manage

Wow I’d think my husband was unwell if he suddenly did this. It would be terribly out of character (and unwelcome).

Fun sponge 😂😂

@Poptasmagorical

I think I'm a bit in love with *@DrSbaitso* for being more articulate than my brain can manage

Thank you. If you're not familiar with my namesake, look him up. He'll give you more intelligent conversation than the shit clone army and, as a PP said, the names+numbers guys.

But it's FUN isn't it Linsey?

I mean come on. What a laugh!

The fact the OP didn't find it even slightly funny appears to be... Lost.

Incidentally. Anyone remember those 'confessions of' things in the 80s? I heard the men who liked those sort of thing are sad they aren't made any more and are keen to find alternatives...

Kind of dumb maybe but from a married couple I would say a poorly chosen joke. But I can think of couples who would think something like that was quite fun.

People don't always get their jokes right, and some people are really terrible at it, but no one is married long if they can't say, actually I didn't really like that, and receive an apology, and accept it. And it doesn't matter if the other person still thinks it was funny and is disappointed you don't get it, so long as they accept that you just don't.

@linsey2581

What’s the problem? Sometimes when me and hubby are going I the house we grab each other’s bums or give it a wee slap. It keeps our cheeky spark going. Once I was going in the front door and he grabbed my bum and I dropped the shopping and broke the eggs. Did I go ballistic at him? Nope had a good chuckle and then sent him back to get more eggs 😂

Do you live in the Benny Hill show? Or a seaside postcard?

You and your cheeky hubby, what a pair! How you must chuckle!

Some of the responses on this thread just demonstrate exactly why we have the problems with rape culture we do: not only men but women telling us that if we don't find any kind of sexual behaviour funny, we're the ones with the problem, we're the ones that need to lighten up. Essentially, some posters on here are telling the OP that it's not OK for her to object to something that's done to her body that she doesn't like; that's she wrong for feeling embarrassed/angry/hurt; that the correct response is to plaster a smile on and accept what's done to her without her consent.

Seriously? What is WRONG with you people?

Theonlylivingboyinnewcross Spot On! Agree with every word you have written.

I think an incident like this shows a fundamental disrespect towards women in general and you in particular. You are right to point this out and to explain about boundaries. He sounds immature. Does he do this sort of thing often. Hopefully it will be a one off.

Totally unacceptable in any male over the age of 6 so I apologise for my sex. Your DH needs to grow up and become a Man despite what his peer group may consider " a bit of a laugh!"

It’s obviously not ok, but none of us know you both and your relationship. My DH and I have an incredibly playful relationship and I can imagine he could get it wrong at some point and do something very silly like this. He never has but very occasionally he can get carried away. 99% of the time I love how we are. The thing is I know that despite this 1% how positive our relationship is. I’m very well supported, loved and listened to. I certainly wouldn’t come to mumsnet to have complete strangers call him ‘creepy’ etc. My point is, if you feel the need to do this and come here then it seems like something else is going on, why is it he won’t listen or you can’t talk to him? People we love have the ability to hurt us in all sorts of ways - that’s life. How they resolve it is what counts but also how it compares to how they are most of the time.

@TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross
Whilst I support the idea that rape culture is prevalent and toxic I’m not entirely convinced this is it. I also find you’re rush to shame other women for not falling in line with your thinking pretty toxic. Do you think that’s how we affect change? Do you buy into cancel culture?