DH pulled my skirt up - AIBU to feel angry?

[Undecidedandtorn]

Just before getting indoors from a trip out today my husband pulled my dress up and flashed my pants. He said that he had checked and there wasn't anyone coming down the street who could see (which I of course didn't know) but when I turned around there were some people up the road - he said they were too far away to see but I'm not 100% sure this is true (I'm 99% sure its true).

Its been about 3 hours and I am still really angry about this even though he has apologised. AIBU?

Ew ew ew gross 🤮what kind of thoughtless childish moron are you married to??! Vile - you need to rethink this whole relationship with someone who can behave like this - I feel a bit sick about this creep

@Starsky88

😂😂😂 over reaction much! Me and my hubby do this all the time (obviously with no one around) empty street, people far away, jeez lighten up

Whilst I find that utterly weird @Starsky88 you both consent, you both join in and find it amusing. That's up to you.

OP was not afforded the opportunity to do/feel any of those things.

Jeez, have a little empathy

Follow your gut. It sounds like your boundary was crossed. You have a right to set your boundary. It is yours to have. Have a chat with your dh and just discuss how this crossed your boundary. That is why you are upset. Don't let anyone belittle you.

So tomorrow you’re pulling his trousers down, right?

I can see no reason to do this other than to humiliate you. This would be a deal breaker, I would divorce my husband if he behaved in this revolting way

Just they dynamics of our marriage I guess, just doesn’t seem something to get worked up about. Unless it was a busy street.

@pomers

I can see no reason to do this other than to humiliate you. This would be a deal breaker, I would divorce my husband if he behaved in this revolting way

I would be fuming and I'd feel embarrassed even if it was unlikely that anyone had seen. What an odd - and childish- thing for him to do.

My DH has done similar to me but I don't mind. However that doesn't mean you should put up with it if you don't like it.
It's a bit strange you've been together so long and he's never done anything like it before.

When you are out with him and a few people around pull his trousers down... see what he thinks of that.

Are you dating a 12 year old boy?

I'd say sounds like he thought it would be funny got it completely wrong . I'm sure you've made him aware draw a line under it .

Sort of thing my dh would do messing about tbh, we'd just have a laugh about it,

I’d let him know you are still angry so he knows where the boundaries are and not to do it again.

@ARealHoliday

I’d let him know you are still angry so he knows where the boundaries are and not to do it again.

Exactly! If this is a hard pass for you, tell him! If he does it again then you know that there is a lack of respect!! Me and my hubby mess about, we have 3 kids but we act like teens at times. If I said no he would respect this.

@Sillawithans

I couldn't get worked up over this to be honest.

Same. I probably wouldn't even remember it an hour later.

I would struggle to get annoyed at this tbh. Hes probably done it before anyway. Obviously if it was in front of loads of people then out of order but a silly prank nah

I wouldn't get worked up over this. You were right outside your house, it looks like someone down the road may have seen but you're not certain. Your DH was inappropriate and definitely misjudged the situation but he won't do it again. Move on and forgive. He was an idiot.

I’ve done this before to my partner, we’re very playful in this aspect, and it’s certainly no intention into embarrass or humiliate, HOWEVER, it’s so easy to see only how we think it feels or comes across, thank you for this post, in now going to speak to my partner and apologies, because I’ve been naive to think this the boundaries of playfulness should be drawn this far. Thank you for this

I would be livid! How would he feel if you pulled his trousers down to expose his underpants? Childish at best and disrespectful at worst.

In my relationship, if DP did this being playful, I don't think I'd have a problem with it. But, we have the kind of relationship where this might be ok, and we communicate a lot about how we're feeling. We know and respect each others boundaries. So I truly don't think DP would do this, at least not without some kind of prior conversation. (By conversation, I mean joking about in the kitchen or wherever, and teasing about doing it. Not a sit down, deep and meaningful!)

Mis-clicked and posted too soon. All my post above doesn't make any difference to the OP and her situation. You are NOT being unreasonable to be annoyed. That sort of thing feels like a violation. You trust someone to be that physically close to you while you have your guard down, and they do that. I think perhaps the shock of that violation of trust, is probably making the anger worse. Maybe give it a day to cool off, then if you want or need to, have another chat with him and explain why it pissed you off so much (if you know) Glad to hear he's not normally an arse.

I think I just have an odd relationship with my husband as he does stuff like this all the time! He’s not very smooth / flirtatious so this is how he flirts in a playful way bless him (a bit school boy but maybe we’re both equally immature!)..he also chases me up the stairs and says things like ‘look over there have you seen that xxxx’ and then grabs my boob as I turn to look. Yeah maybe we’re a bit sad!

However...he knows I find this funny. Your husband should know you well enough to know that you do not! It could be an awkward attempt at flirting gone wrong? Sounds like it was out of character though if it’s upset and surprised you.

@supersonicginandtonic

But then again we have a sense of humous...

🤣

@ThursdayWeld I'm with you ... and would probably now be plotting his slow miserable death ... just sayin!