DH pulled my skirt up - AIBU to feel angry?

[Undecidedandtorn]

Just before getting indoors from a trip out today my husband pulled my dress up and flashed my pants. He said that he had checked and there wasn't anyone coming down the street who could see (which I of course didn't know) but when I turned around there were some people up the road - he said they were too far away to see but I'm not 100% sure this is true (I'm 99% sure its true).

Its been about 3 hours and I am still really angry about this even though he has apologised. AIBU?

@oioisaveloy108 everyone is allowed to have boundaries in a relationship. This is a perfectly acceptable boundary. If you think it's OK for your partner to cheat on you as 'punishment' for standing up for yourself, you have a problem I'm afraid.

[quote JesusInTheCabbageVan]@oioisaveloy108 everyone is allowed to have boundaries in a relationship. This is a perfectly acceptable boundary. If you think it's OK for your partner to cheat on you as 'punishment' for standing up for yourself, you have a problem I'm afraid.[/quote]
Funny how you're allowed to create acceptable boundaries, but I'm clearly not allowed to make my own decisions based on what I deem acceptable

@supersonicginandtonic

Oh ffs! I'd say, "oh ffs" if my partner did this and get him back later on with another prank. There was nobody to see. But then again we have a sense of humous and we can have a laugh and act immaturely occasionally on our relationship 🙄

@supersonicginandtonic If it’s ok in your relationship that is of course great

But given how many women have bad sexual experiences at all levels, it’s not great to be raising your eyes and at women who don’t find it ok, is it?

If I were walking down the street with my DH and decided to yank his trousers down, I'm certain he'd be fucking fuming. Rightly so.

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

If I were walking down the street with my DH and decided to yank his trousers down, I'm certain he'd be fucking fuming. Rightly so.

Slight difference between walking down the street, and just about to walk in your front door when no one is around

@Undecidedandtorn

I think he thought it was a thrill? Like a bit sexy? He's never done this before (and won't ever again) in 20 years and normally not a jerk. Perhaps I'm also feeling a bit hot and not in the best of moods.

That's public humiliation for you, and a thrill for him. No wonder you're not in the best of moods.

Funny how you're allowed to create acceptable boundaries, but I'm clearly not allowed to make my own decisions based on what I deem acceptable

Of course you are. What you can't do is tell women that they aren't allowed perfectly reasonable boundaries are their DH will shag someone else. That makes you sound like an apologist for the most pathetic male behaviour.

Fucking pranks and bants and all the other nonsense that excuses nasty behaviour. If you want to be on the receiving end great. Wear a badge. I don't. And never did. And as I have empathy I never wanted to watch other people humiliated either.

Nothing less attractive than finding out you're married to someone with the 'sense of humour' of a 13 year old boy.

He sounds weird, OP. Why did he do it? It's very odd behaviour - I wouldn't be happy at all and would be freaked out by it.

Lol at affairs.

Where is this supply of women who want to go out with married men who act like they're 12

@MrsTerryPratchett

Well yes I can because A) OP asked for peoples opinions and B) you're allowed to preach about boundaries and what is 'acceptable' and therefore so can I

Funny how you're allowed to create acceptable boundaries, but I'm clearly not allowed to make my own decisions based on what I deem acceptable confused

No. If you want to be in a relationship where you pull one another's clothes off in public and have affairs to punish each other for not being 'fun' enough, that's great. I suppose it does make sense if all the arseholes end up with women who like that sort of thing. But you need to understand that you're in the minority, and I can promise you that isn't because you're 'fun' and everyone else is boring.

But OP didn't like it! She's really pissed off. Understandably so !

[quote oioisaveloy108]@MrsTerryPratchett

Well yes I can because A) OP asked for peoples opinions and B) you're allowed to preach about boundaries and what is 'acceptable' and therefore so can I

[/quote]
Boundaries are personal. Do you actually understand that? I feel like that's pretty basic. You can have yours. I can have mine. Both acceptable.

fortunately, the people who think this is bants and jokes are in the minority on here.

my partner has never done this before, I cant imagine how or when it would be appropriate to pull someones dress up in public. I dont think it's an overreaction at all to be uncomfortable and angry by it - it was incredibly immature and quite clearly you didnt find it remotely sexy or funny.

That would piss me off. I'd let it go if he apologised properly but I'd expect no repeats!

@MrsTerryPratchett @JesusInTheCabbageVan

Oh yes, totally understand both your points. Now can you understand that some women would find this absolutely hilarious and find those that don't, those that jump to public humiliation, a bit odd?

Slight difference between walking down the street, and just about to walk in your front door when no one is around

OP said she could see people. But OK - if we were outside our house and I decided to yank DH's trousers down, he'd be fucking fuming. So would most people, which is why you don't see this happening all the time. Normal people with self-respect don't appreciate it.

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

Slight difference between walking down the street, and just about to walk in your front door when no one is around

OP said she could see people. But OK - if we were outside our house and I decided to yank DH's trousers down, he'd be fucking fuming. So would most people, which is why you don't see this happening all the time. Normal people with self-respect don't appreciate it.

OP said she is 99% sure no one saw.

Funny how you're all about 'we are both allowed our opinions are boundaries' but then start insinuating I've got no self respect. Bizarre

'A bit odd' to find our underwear exposed in public without our consent humiliating? OK but I don't think you understand humans.

@NeilBuchananisBanksy

It could be classed as assault. If a stranger came down the street and did it it would be.

Does he understand how serious this is?
Id be raging.

Yes I think my instinct would be to lash out

But pull his pants down in public, he might actually learn something.

@MrsTerryPratchett

'A bit odd' to find our underwear exposed in public without our consent humiliating? OK but I don't think you understand humans.

And I don't think you have the brain capacity to accept people think differently to you. Maybe you should work on that?

I see this a lot on YouTube.

People doing these kinds of pranks on each other.

They seem to think it’s hilarious. I don’t know why.

Depends what he’s like normally. My dh wouldn’t do this as he would know he’d get a smack in the chops.
Is he always this cheeky? Did you give him a wedgy back?