Friends sarcy remarks about the way I dress

[LoveHeart929w]

So i'm 25 and I have 2 close friends.

I'm 5'1 and weigh 7 stone 5 and I have always been quite conscious about my height. I love heels (but moderate heels like heeled boots, wedges, sandals) and I also love dresses. It's my style.

Anyway, not all the time but sometimes my friend's make comments about my clothes that make me feel awkward.

We went for a meal the other day and I wore black jeans with a nice black top and my pale pink heels (probably about 3 inches).
Friend's were in flats and jeans. As we were leaving the restaurant, my friend made a comment about " how do you walk in those heels?" to which I said "easy, you get used to heels".

And as I got in my car and they walked towards there cars together, I heard them still talking about my heels and how it's "typical me" to be wearing them.

It's also been hot the past 2 weeks and last week we met up for a walk. They both were in leggings or jeans and a tshirt, I wore some black shorts with a pink off the shoulder top and white trainers.
It then resulted in a discussion about "I can't believe you're wearing shorts, are you not cold?"
Bear in mind, it was boiling!

I just feel constantly put down. I don't care what other people wear but i'm getting tired of there little snide remarks.
Maybe i'm being over the top but I just want to wear what I want without being interrogated.

[quote LoveHeart929w]@SeaShoreGalore okay think what you like[/quote]
Oh come on, your thread absolutely smacks of you wanting people to tell you that you have fabulous dress sense and your friends are jealous. 🙄

I understood why you gave height and weight OP. If you didnt no doubt the first influx of comments would be along the lines of 'maybe you're too big to pull of shorts'. I tend to dress up, I like fashion and have a lot of clothes and like to style outfits even for popping to someones for a BBQ. I tend to then feel a bit out of place as a lot of friends of mine arent really into clothes and will wear Jean's and a tshirt and wonder why I didnt think to dress down a bit. No one ever says anything to me though so they are nice friends even if they think I overdress for every occasion. I dont recon your friends are jealous. I think they just don't understand and then are a bit mean by saying something

[quote astonafar]@Famousinlove I think you have a distorted idea of heels.[/quote]
I own shoes with high heels, i know what they are

OP i think along with posters on here, your friends are jealous and uncomfortable with themselves so are projecting onto you, ignore them

@astonafar I didn't say I felt judged, I said it made me wonder.

@IHeartKingThistle you said it made you feel awkward.
I am not judging you, I was trying to give some advice about how to deal with this.
Those talking about your friends being jealous bitches are very far off the mark.

@astonafar no I didn't!

I used to have a friend like that, I would dread the initial greeting as I knew there would be a put-down comment about what I was wearing. For example “Why are you wearing a dress?! We’re only going to the pub!” Then the next week she wore a dress to the same pub and I said how nice she looked! So it didn’t even make sense and it gradually got to me more and more. I finally spoke to her about it, she apologised and admitted she was jealous. You probably look great in your clothes. Anyway even though I forgave her, she couldn’t really stop the odd snide comment and therefore the friendship didn’t last. I never looked back. Find friends that make you feel good about yourself. 🌸

@IndiaMay thank you! In the same way, lots of people have asked about my friend's weight, I knew people would ask about mine so gave it straight away.
Not even bother commenting back to those who make ridiculous remarks about me "wanting compliments", compliments are nice but nobody even knows what I look like on this thread so don't get how I can be complimented specificially just wanted advice

@IHeartKingThistle i'd ignore astonafar. Seems very determined to bring a negative atmosphere to the thread.

@IHeartKingThistle Sorry I got you confused with the OP who said it made her feel awkward.

Looks like there’s some envy flying around on this post as well OP.

@astonafar no worries! I don't know how old OP is but I don't do awkward since I hit 40 and it's very liberating!

They prefer to be comfy, you are happier very dressed up. I’m generally stylish, but might be surprised if a friend turned up for a walk looking like she was going on a date. I wouldn’t say anything though.

*disclaimer: I am 20 years older than you

Ah, OP is 25. I recommend learning not to give a shot heartily OP, and I wish I'd managed it at your age!

Shit. Obviously!

Sounds like they're probably fat and jealous.

Wear what works for you and ignore what others say. The comments of other people usually say more about them and their outlook on life than about you. Only you know what feels comfortable/right for you, not others.

Example - before Covid, I went on a lot of city breaks and a lot of travel for work which also often had time for sightseeing. I once was in a big European capital city with work colleagues and we had one day for sightseeing. Weather was red hot and we had planned sightseeing from 9am until early evening. We met up outside the hotel and I was wearing a light summer dress and flip flops…. My standard outfit for sightseeing/pavement walking in that kind of weather. I’m mid 40s female, 5’4 and relatively slim and active. The others were 5-10 years older and some more overweight. All were dressed in jeans and either trainers or hiking boots. They looked aghast at what I was wearing and advised that I wouldn’t be able to walk around all day on those shoes that had no support! They said I’d have blisters within the first five minutes. I said they were my comfiest shoes and that I usually wore them for city sightseeing. They demanded I changed - but as I didn’t have any other kinds of leisure shoes except heels for the after work dinners, they eventually ‘let’ me stay in my flip flops.

Throughout the day they all constantly complained about how their feet/legs were tired and they needed to stop for a break. I was the only one who didn’t complain about aching feet. I walked slower than my usual pace to accommodate them, and we only walked a fraction of the distance that I would normally cover on a similar city tour if on my own or with family.

At the end of the day they were all exhausted and complaining that they had never walked so far in their lives - yet they had been the ones criticizing me for my poor choice of shoes!

So wear what you like and ignore them - sounds like jealousy to me!

They’re jealous. The comments about the shorts are transparently a dig. They’re probably not great friends. Enjoy your clothes and dressing up or down as much as you like.

@KatherineJaneway

Sounds like you dress up for events that they dress down for.

Dress up? She's wearing black jeans & shorts fgs.

These are not your friends. Real friends don't mind a jot what you wear as they like you for YOU.

March to the beat of your own drum and find other friends with depth, you sound fab.

I don’t think the comments are that bad… tell your friends how you feel… I’m sure they didn’t mean to upset you.

@AlmostSummer21 you can wear black jeans, a top and heels and look dressed up.

I'm surprised by all the "they're obviously jealous" comments. I wear shorts and dresses all the time and I feel the heat. Almost all my friends will say "how are you not cold" "I feel cold just looking at you" etc and I've never been offended. I just laugh it off. Because yeah some people do feel the cold. My mum wears jumpers when it's 22+ degrees. I have another friend that wears heels all the time and I always tell her how glam she looks and how I always feel underdressed next to her but I'd look like a baby deer if I attempted to walk in heels now 😂. She appears to take it as a compliment 🤷. I mean she wears heels on a walk round the park. I'm not jealous of her, more admire her haha.

Have you actually told your friends that it upsets you when they comment on what you're wearing? If you have and they still do it then yes completely fair that you're upset by it but I can't see through the comments that you've actually told them?

[quote LoveHeart929w]@AlmostSummer21 I hope you're doing okay now and i'm sure you look lovely in your shorts; My mum has only just gained the confidence to show her legs off after a lot of weight gain the past few years and I think everyone should feel free to wear whatever they like without anyone commenting negatively to them [/quote]
That's the thing, LoveHeart929w, when you're happy with yourself you can be generous to everybody else and not judge them because, why would you need to do that. You don't need to and you don't do it - and you're generous of spirit. They are not.

If you want to still go out with them then I'd approach them, head on, and ask them why they feel the need to comment so negatively and so often about what you wear? Tell them it makes them look a bit pathetic (because it does), and that you don't do this to them. They can take you as you are or leave it. You'd be losing nothing but these dementors chipping away at your confidence. They definitely are jealous. Maybe not of your clothes or size, but something is making them like this. That's their problem, not yours.

Rock your clothes, heels, whatever your heart desires, your confidence will shine through.

AlmostSummer21, I can empathise. As a heel-wearer of many years, I can't wear them anymore as I have MS and would fall over. I'm sure your mum looks great and yes, everybody should be able to wear what they want without being castigated or mocked.

I wish I could wear heels - I love them, but at 5’9” I would tower above everyone else. Enjoy your heels, OP.x