Friends sarcy remarks about the way I dress

[LoveHeart929w]

So i'm 25 and I have 2 close friends.

I'm 5'1 and weigh 7 stone 5 and I have always been quite conscious about my height. I love heels (but moderate heels like heeled boots, wedges, sandals) and I also love dresses. It's my style.

Anyway, not all the time but sometimes my friend's make comments about my clothes that make me feel awkward.

We went for a meal the other day and I wore black jeans with a nice black top and my pale pink heels (probably about 3 inches).
Friend's were in flats and jeans. As we were leaving the restaurant, my friend made a comment about " how do you walk in those heels?" to which I said "easy, you get used to heels".

And as I got in my car and they walked towards there cars together, I heard them still talking about my heels and how it's "typical me" to be wearing them.

It's also been hot the past 2 weeks and last week we met up for a walk. They both were in leggings or jeans and a tshirt, I wore some black shorts with a pink off the shoulder top and white trainers.
It then resulted in a discussion about "I can't believe you're wearing shorts, are you not cold?"
Bear in mind, it was boiling!

I just feel constantly put down. I don't care what other people wear but i'm getting tired of there little snide remarks.
Maybe i'm being over the top but I just want to wear what I want without being interrogated.

The fact that you mention your weight in your OP, makes it scream ‘TELL ME THEY’RE FAT JELOUS BITCHES’ to me.

@LoveHeart929w I find how fashionable people dress varies a lot around the country. I live in a provincial town where younger women do tend to follow fashions on a night out. I did not say everyone else was wearing trainers. But yes I did notice the woman walking round in very high heels. But then I still notice what is happening however a good time I am having.

@SeaShoreGalore Ayyy? I haven't said anywhere that my friends are fat?
But you think as you do. I mentioned my weight because it's about fashion/clothes.
Some people on this thread have a really big problem with weight.
Can you explain the problem with my weight please?

@LoveHeart929w

What relevance is your weight to the OP? You’re entitled to wear what you want irrespective of your weight. People can be interested in clothes at any size. The insinuation from some posters is that your friends are jealous because you are very petite.

Next time they comment say 'oh really I thought this looked fab, shall I call you ahead of the next time we meet up so you can tell me what I should wear or do you want to pop round so you can choose my clothes yourself?' And see what they say!

@LoveHeart929w I didn't say there was a problem. I said if you are choosing not to fit in with what everyone else is wearing, then you need to be more confident in your choices.

I've never had a friend comment on what I wore (unless it was something positive). Sounds very bitchy and jealous. There are plenty of people out there that put others down to make themselves feel better. I'd question the kind of friendship you have with them.

@Divebar2021 it's a fashion/clothes thread.
I brought my height into it too. Do you have a problem with that?
Is there a problem with my weight?
I also mentioned my age- do you have a problem with that?

If I didn't, someone would have asked ablut my weight as weight and fashion often go hand in hand about what style of clothes suit you.

Wear what makes you happy. I wear heels and vintage dresses etc to work most of the time because it genuinely makes me feel good. I have a stressful job and I can kick ass at it in a twirly skirt just as well, and I feel better too.

I did have some comments from a couple of colleagues the other day about how many clothes I have and it did make me wonder if that's all people see. I hadn't really thought about it before. I didn't feel the need to explain to them that most of my clothes are second hand, or that I don't feel guilty about the ones that aren't because I had no money for a very long time. Now I can afford nice clothes I'm not going to feel bad about it.

If people are weird about you dressing differently to them it says more about them than it says about you.

there’s no problem with your weight. I was just letting you know how you came across to me.

'Jealousy, pure and simple I encountered it at school'. Yes, at school. it's so odd on here, this penchant for accusing adult women of behaving like school girls. And anyway, I wonder if her 'close' friends maybe actually just don't much like her.

Fashions obviously vary around the country - I work and socialise in central London and don’t see many people in heels. When you talk about “ following fashion” it may not be something that’s universal. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t wear what you want though.

[quote LoveHeart929w]@GraduallyWatermelon i'm more than capable of dressing myself for occasions.
We were in a nice restaurant which is known to host wedding meals.
And it was just a normal walk to starbucks and along the park.[/quote]
OP dress how you want. Dress in a way that makes you feel good about yourself and, if that's in a Pantomime Dame Outfit with a wand or in pink kitten heels then that's up to you. Other people's views and opinions, when unasked for are none of your business.

Be assertive with them: 'Yes, I get it, you two don't like the way I dress. Can we stop talking about it please' Change subject.

If they keep referring to your clothes, after you've spoken to them, then they're not friends.

@IHeartKingThistle very true! And I wish i could pull off the vintage style but I always look so silly I bet you look absolutely fabulous though! I love pencil skirts but can't pull them off either

@IHeartKingThistle Someone saying you have a lot of clothes is not automatically judging you. It can be a simple statement of fact. Most people wear the same things, again and again, to work on a rota.

@SeaShoreGalore well you took it the completely wrong way? I haven't even mentioned in my OP about being skinny. In fact, I said i'm insecure about my height.
I've had issues in the past with weight so please don't presume i'm going around gloating how skinny I am. In fact it's the total opposite and i'm quite insecure about my body. But I have the mindset of "fake it until you make it" and I dress in ways that make my legs look longer and make me feel happy with my body.

Do a little experiment -next time you meet up wear weather inappropriate plain clothes and see if they comment.

In my experience there acn sometimes be a frenemy among a group of friends and it mya help to work out if that applies here. My frenemy was obsessed with my weight. I shut her up finally by saying 'you seem obsessed with my body'. Said in a joky way but the message hit home and comments stopped.

It's just rude in my opinion.

Sorry about typos

@astonafar

I agree 3 inches is a very high heel. OP they think you overdress. I suspect you do dress up far more than them.

3 inches is barely a heel!

@Divebar2021 it's a fashion/clothes thread.
I brought my height into it too. Do you have a problem with that?
Is there a problem with my weight?

You’re being very selective about what you’re responding to. You haven’t posted in Style & Beauty about your style choices you’ve posted in AIBU about comments from your friends. I have said you should wear what you want and I would say that whether you were 25 or 45. Size 6 or size 16. (You said you were sensitive about your height so therefore stating your height is relevant). I think you’re more than capable of dealing with a couple of comments.

In fact it's the total opposite and i'm quite insecure about my body

Yes, and that’s exactly how it comes across. That’s why you wrote a post that not so subtly invites lots of people to say your mates are jealous.

@Famousinlove I think you have a distorted idea of heels.

@SeaShoreGalore okay think what you like

I'm very tall and unable to wear heels. I get jealous of anyone more petite than me who can pull heels off. BUT I would never mention it to them or make them feel bad about it. It's my personal thing. It sounds like your friends are jealous but unable to keep it to themselves. Not real friends by the sounds of it!

@SeaShoreGalore

In fact it's the total opposite and i'm quite insecure about my body

Yes, and that’s exactly how it comes across. That’s why you wrote a post that not so subtly invites lots of people to say your mates are jealous.

I agree with this assessment. Most people try and dress nicely but to fit in. If you do not want to dress to fit in, you have to be more confident in your choices.

Someone dressing deliberately knowing they do not fit in, but being insecure, wanting nice things said about the way they dress and jumping on every remark about how they dress, is always going to have a hard time.

As I said I have always admired those who are total outliers in how they dress. But they have had the confidence to carry it off. I went out with someone once who dressed fairly unusually, he just used to laugh at anyone saying anything.