‘don’t bother coming if nobody can hold the baby’

[nina3638]

basically my family are having an outdoor get together tomorrow. they’re having the maximum 30 people over in the garden and i said i’ll come but not passing my 9 week baby around as i just think that’s too many people passing her about. she’s only had one set of jabs nevermind covid or anything else.

i said to my grandma i’m not going to pass her around and she said ‘well __ will want to hold her, she loves babies you have to let her hold her’ i said no cause i can’t let one person and say no to everyone else who wants to, that looks rude. and she said well don’t bother coming.

so is this all i’m good for now? nobody wants to just say hi and catch up with me anymore, i’m only worth coming if i’ll pass my baby around?

@scubadive

What has the governments covid scare tactics done to people where a grandma is told she cant hold her grandchild, the op is being a princess and unnecessarily creating drama.

Wow. Your denial is in delusional territory. I hope you remember your ignorant posts if you or one of your family members get really sick/die with Covid. That might make you snap out of it.

I am finding this thread utterly bizarre and slightly manic.
I must live in a different world to most on here if it is considered so outrageous and even abusive that a family member wants to hold her great grandchild.
And then the op is cheered and treated like a hero for facing up to something that was in her own head anyway!
As I said upthread, I think this kind of drama and attention-seeking is all about reframing family dynamics with the op at the very centre.

@Katyppp

I am finding this thread utterly bizarre and slightly manic. I must live in a different world to most on here if it is considered so outrageous and even abusive that a family member wants to hold her great grandchild. And then the op is cheered and treated like a hero for facing up to something that was in her own head anyway! As I said upthread, I think this kind of drama and attention-seeking is all about reframing family dynamics with the op at the very centre.

You've misread.

"i said to my grandma i’m not going to pass her around and she said ‘well __ will want to hold her, she loves babies you have to let her hold her"

Grandma is saying another attendee will want to hold the baby, not her. And OP isn't comfortable with that as she feels that if she lets this other person hold the baby more guests will want to.

@Katyppp

I am finding this thread utterly bizarre and slightly manic. I must live in a different world to most on here if it is considered so outrageous and even abusive that a family member wants to hold her great grandchild. And then the op is cheered and treated like a hero for facing up to something that was in her own head anyway! As I said upthread, I think this kind of drama and attention-seeking is all about reframing family dynamics with the op at the very centre.

Do you often find yourself completely out of kilter with the vast majority?

Perhaps take the time to read the detail. Or even just read the OP!

@Katyppp

I am finding this thread utterly bizarre and slightly manic. I must live in a different world to most on here if it is considered so outrageous and even abusive that a family member wants to hold her great grandchild. And then the op is cheered and treated like a hero for facing up to something that was in her own head anyway! As I said upthread, I think this kind of drama and attention-seeking is all about reframing family dynamics with the op at the very centre.

there’s a pandemic? i wanted to see my family but 30 people who could be carrying a dangerous virus holding a baby who is still pretty vulnerable isn’t my idea of good parenting.

* there’s a pandemic? i wanted to see my family but 30 people who could be carrying a dangerous virus holding a baby who is still pretty vulnerable isn’t my idea of good parenting.*

I don’t give a hoot about the pandemic

I just wouldn’t want my baby handed around like a box of chocolates

@Sometimesfraught82

* there’s a pandemic? i wanted to see my family but 30 people who could be carrying a dangerous virus holding a baby who is still pretty vulnerable isn’t my idea of good parenting.*

I don’t give a hoot about the pandemic

I just wouldn’t want my baby handed around like a box of chocolates

exactly, i feel the same tbh but some people on here seem to think it’s a crime to not let people play pass the parcel with your baby 🥲

Yanbu OP. Surely everyone should just have the baby’s best interests at heart and respect your decision as her mother. You weren’t saying you wouldn’t go, you were saying that you didn’t want her passed around at the moment and that’s perfectly understandable

* exactly, i feel the same tbh but some people on here seem to think it’s a crime to not let people play pass the parcel with your baby 🥲*

In your Op you do express concern re the pandemic, which I think maybe clouded some views.

In short, pandemic? Would not have slightest concern that consideration. But as I say - my baby isn’t a box of chocolates.

And as for your grandma’s response - that alone would mean I would be very wary about her spending any alone time with my children.

If I was holding a party and someone said 'well, nobody is holding my baby' I would roll my eyes at them for making a big deal out of it and wish I had not invited them. Just go to the party. Nobody will care whether they get to hold your baby or not. Don't make it sound like you think they are all queuing up to touch your child with their dirty hands.

@Keepitcleanplease

Nobody will care whether they get to hold your baby or not.

Bold of you to assume that your own relatives and friendship circle behave the same as absolutely everyone else’s. Maybe listen to people who’ve had experiences where they’ve been pushed into handing the baby around to a group of people when they really didn’t feel comfortable with it?