‘don’t bother coming if nobody can hold the baby’

[nina3638]

basically my family are having an outdoor get together tomorrow. they’re having the maximum 30 people over in the garden and i said i’ll come but not passing my 9 week baby around as i just think that’s too many people passing her about. she’s only had one set of jabs nevermind covid or anything else.

i said to my grandma i’m not going to pass her around and she said ‘well __ will want to hold her, she loves babies you have to let her hold her’ i said no cause i can’t let one person and say no to everyone else who wants to, that looks rude. and she said well don’t bother coming.

so is this all i’m good for now? nobody wants to just say hi and catch up with me anymore, i’m only worth coming if i’ll pass my baby around?

I wouldn't be going

Too late, @Ilovewolfblass - it turned out that the grandma was the one 'been an absolute princess' and had to 'suck it up'.

Well done for standing your ground OP. Well done.

I had a velcro baby so anyone who wanted a cuddle was welcome to have a go and give my arms a rest and let me get something done. But even I'd think think twice in a pandemic.

And mine is 14 and I'm still mostly interesting to the ILs as a channel to get to DD!

thanks everyone!!x

Well done OP.

For crying out loud, did you really need advice from complete strangers to make this decision?

I don’t see the obsession with holding babies to be fair but I think grandma could have had a cuddle.

Can’t see why they can hold the baby if you’re mixing with them anyway. If they do have Covid then you’ll catch it easier than her and pass it on. I think you’ll find that most people will look and make the expected point noises but won’t want to hold her. I think you’re making a fuss over nothing

Well done OP.

I had real issues with this with each of my babies. They're now 2, 7 and 11.
I was always super scared of people with cold sores kissing them. And smokers.
Plus I just don't want everyone holding my baby - bar the grand parents that is.
You should definitely still go and be firm on the no passing baby around.

If this is about covid then you’re in close proximity of everyone there anyway! It doesn’t make a difference if she’s held by them or not or are you planning to social distance from everyone? If it’s just general preference which I completely agree with then put her in a sling and say she’s feeding lol

I wouldn't bother going with that worry or if you do go keep the baby in a sling. When mine was small I remember going to a big family gathering and baby was only 3 weeks old. I didn't mind people holding him at all in small groups, just didn't want him being past from person to person. I kept him in a sling the entire time and that worked really well.

@Ilovewolfblass

U r been an absolute princess! Suck it up!!!

Which bit? The bit where her Nan's being a cow? Or letting everyone play pass the parcel with her newborn in a pandemic?

Nice one OP.

Toxic people. Cut loose.

Just let your grandma hold your baby for goodness sake

RTFT 🙄😂

I must live in a different world to everyone else. There is no way I would expect all 30 people to want to hold the baby. I would expect at least half to actively not want to hold it. Also I would expect people to either ask if they could hold the baby or wait to be asked if they would like to. Having said that I was informed after the fact that I was an obsessive new mother who never let go of my baby but whatever it was I did to put people off, my kids never got passed around.

@lovescaca

I wouldn't be going

@lovescaca OP did go.

@N0tJustY0ga

Toxic people. Cut loose.

Read the thread FFS.

Grandma was a pain. The other 29 people there were absolutely fine. Why on earth would OP cut loose from them?

The comprehension skills in this thread are appalling. SO many posters have taken GM's attitude and transplanted it onto OP's entire extended family with absolutely no rationale for it.

@scubadive

Just let your grandma hold your baby for goodness sake

@scubadive Why the fuck should she have to??? Do you normally side with the abusive people against a mother and her innocent newborn baby?

What has the governments covid scare tactics done to people where a grandma is told she cant hold her grandchild, the op is being a princess and unnecessarily creating drama.

People on here telling the op to ditch her family because grandma is so clearly upset at the prospect of seeing her grandchild and not being able to hold them and op is lumping grandma in with the other 30 people attending. I hope all you callous lot remember this thread when you become grandparents.

@scubadive

What has the governments covid scare tactics done to people where a grandma is told she cant hold her grandchild, the op is being a princess and unnecessarily creating drama.

What has the world come to when a human being (a parent!), regardless of age, can’t find it within themselves to respect their granddaughter’s comfort levels and boundaries regarding their child? Bonkers.