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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if he gets every Saturday to himself I should get one Sunday a month?

488 replies

Dancingbinbags · 03/06/2021 20:01

Dh plays golf every Saturday. Every single Saturday.
I work four days a week but on my day off - between dropping the kids to school it amounts to 4 hours - I tend to do housework and anyway my friends are at work so I can’t meet them and do anything.
I want a Sunday to go into the city centre and shop and have lunch with a friend. Dh says no. Family time. Where is my time off? Where is my free time?
Two nights a week golf and a full day on a Saturday. Leaves in the morning and not back until late afternoon.

OP posts:
SmokeyDevil · 03/06/2021 20:05

If Sunday is family day, then he cuts back on golf. Two Saturdays for him, two for you.

Otherwise he's a twat.

Original poster
Dancingbinbags · 03/06/2021 20:06

And I’m too tired to see them in the evenings after work - my friends. Dh says take the dc with me and meet on Saturdays. It is super not relaxing taking the dc out for lunch with my friends and trying to converse.

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 03/06/2021 20:06

You will just have to go on Saturday then.

Rainbowqueeen · 03/06/2021 20:07

@SmokeyDevil has it. Or if he says that unfair tell him he’s right. What would be fair is that you got every Saturday seeing her has 2 nights a week

Serpenta · 03/06/2021 20:07

DH says no?

Why does DH get to tell you no?

Brefugee · 03/06/2021 20:07

either go out before he does on a Saturday, or go on a Sunday anyway?

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 03/06/2021 20:08

Cross post
.. go on Saturday without the children. Leave extra early before he would normally go to golf.

ThursdayWeld · 03/06/2021 20:08

Why can't "family time" happen on a Saturday?!

He is being very selfish.

DeadGood · 03/06/2021 20:08

@Dancingbinbags

And I’m too tired to see them in the evenings after work - my friends. Dh says take the dc with me and meet on Saturdays. It is super not relaxing taking the dc out for lunch with my friends and trying to converse.
“Take the kids with you”? Fuck off. Tell him to take the kids with him to the course. What an absolute piss taker.
Babynames2 · 03/06/2021 20:09

I want a Sunday to go into the city centre and shop and have lunch with a friend. Dh says no. Family time

He said no?! Like you’re a child asking to see friends. He’s an arse. I wouldn’t be asking, I would be telling him ‘this is what I’m doing’. And if he wants ‘family time’ so badly he can drop the Saturday at golf on the day you’re out.

I suspect he doesn’t want to have to look after his children alone on those sundays.

Original poster
Dancingbinbags · 03/06/2021 20:09

It’s how it’s always been and I’ve never made waves but I’m a bit tired of never making waves. Now that things are open and I’ve not seen my friends for over a year I want to see them.

OP posts:
wickedwitchofthedance · 03/06/2021 20:10

Tell him to take the kids to the golf course selfish arsehole he is. I'd wake up early on a Sunday and leave the kids with him, fuck him.

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 03/06/2021 20:10

I want a Sunday to go into the city centre and shop and have lunch with a friend. Dh says no

You let him tell you where and when you can go. Big mistake. Stop it.

Downton57 · 03/06/2021 20:11

He doesn't get to say no to you. You're his partner not his child.

Lessthanaballpark · 03/06/2021 20:11

He says no? What is this? A marriage or a dictatorship?

Get up early and leave

Aprilwasverywet · 03/06/2021 20:12

How old are dc? Golf clubs come in small sizes...

BruceAndNosh · 03/06/2021 20:12

Buy a mini set of child's clubs for each of the kids and tell them that Daddy is going to take them to the Club next weekend...

happytoday73 · 03/06/2021 20:12

Erm no.. You get 2 evenings and a day too. If he sees your mid week day not in work as a day off.. Then ensure it is... Housework is now a shared Sunday duty...

You have to push back hard to prove the point.. That includes taking the evenings.

He can take kids to golf 🤣

BonnieDundee · 03/06/2021 20:13

You seem to under the impression that he is the boss of you. I'd be sitting him down and saying that either we are an equal partnership or not, and if not, he can sling his hook.

This idea that somehow dads have more rights than mums makes me furious

Serpenta · 03/06/2021 20:14

@Dancingbinbags

It’s how it’s always been and I’ve never made waves but I’m a bit tired of never making waves. Now that things are open and I’ve not seen my friends for over a year I want to see them.
it's time to start making waves.

big ones.

verging on tsunamis.

He's not your keeper, he doesn't get to tell you what to do.

Yesyoucantell · 03/06/2021 20:15

Oh dear god, that's awful for you.

I agree with PP just get up early and bugger off before he goes to golf

What an absolute Muppet of a man.

My OH positively encourages me to go out with friends because he knows I enjoy it.

He has a hobby and I support him because I know he enjoys it.

Give and take, not take and take.

welshsoph · 03/06/2021 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeadGood · 03/06/2021 20:15

@Dancingbinbags

It’s how it’s always been and I’ve never made waves but I’m a bit tired of never making waves. Now that things are open and I’ve not seen my friends for over a year I want to see them.
You’ve never made waves? It’s your marriage! Your home life! “Not making waves” is for the office, or potentially-tense-extended-family-or-acquaintance situations. Come on OP, time to stand up for yourself.
Yesyoucantell · 03/06/2021 20:16

My kid has a set of golf clubs he's outgrown, happy to gift them Grin

I'm sure there are loads available on eBay, local Facebook etc.

Original poster
Dancingbinbags · 03/06/2021 20:17

My dc don’t want to play golf. They say it’s boring.

OP posts: