Son wants GF to stay over.....

[steinber]

My son is 17 his GF 16. They've been together almost a year though the pandemic did restrict them from seeing each other for a while. They are both sensible but young for their age. I'm not aware of there being a ongoing sexual relationship. Is it really any of my business? He's our first born so this situation is new to us.

Today my son asked if his GF can stay over on Friday night. Im sure he means in with him and not the guest room! I'm not entirely comfortable about it. We have another child (11). I'm trying to be rational etc but can't really explain why I'm not ready for that to happen in my home yet. I need some advice and opinions. AIBU?

feeling icky about it doesn't mean you should ban it!

I don't think anyone's naive enough thinking that banning works. They'll do it in a school toilet if pressed.
I am more worried that a 16yo girl may feel pressured into sex because the boy has an overnight space. Also are her parents happy? What if her dad is some crazy moron who threatens boys with a shotgun?
Also pregnancy is always a big danger.

maybe I'm a prude, but i never thought of bringing sex partners into my parents home.

What's happening now that it's Fri night OP?

She did not stay over.

I ended up laughing it off in a "like that's going to happen "way. Its to the point and It's better than a full on argument. I could see him getting stroppy.

@steinber

She did not stay over.

I ended up laughing it off in a "like that's going to happen "way. Its to the point and It's better than a full on argument. I could see him getting stroppy.

It's not to the point at all. It's totally skirted around it. Why could you not have an open and honest discussion?

Yep, thats not 'to the point' thats absolutely avoiding the issue and if he's any brains he's simply not going to ask you and he's going to sneak around behind your back instead.

Great job OP.

Yeh, not to the point it's actually terrible avoidance.. if you didn't want her to, say no and tell him why.

I would think it through and talk to him about it properly though OP (whether you decide she can or can't stay in the future). Much better he can come to you and discuss things sensibly without it being made into a joke.

Hmm I think I would have taken it as a good opportunity to have had a chat with it..

@blahblahblah321

Hmm I think I would have taken it as a good opportunity to have had a chat with it..

Or about it..