Or is parenting newborns the hardest job in the entire world?

babyblues21 · 2021-06-02T07:07:58+00:00

Is it just me or is the newborn stage really hard. I mean like really, really hard, with very little back in return. I love my 6 week old baby so much, I really truly do. But when does this get easier and more enjoyable?! I find I'm just overwhelmed and irritable most days.

lavenderandwisteria · 02/06/2021 08:09

I found it really difficult just erm, be warned, MN is not particularly kind to women with young babies. Apparently all they do is sleep so it is easy!

happytoday73 · 02/06/2021 08:11

Some people love it and have really easy babies. Many really, really struggle.. I was like you.... It sort of tipped and slowly got better after 3 months..... 8-12 weeks is like a blur to me.
I found getting out for a walk each day helped and meeting up with another adult at least every other day helped me dramatically.....

SoMuchForSummerLove · 02/06/2021 08:12

Yes, it's hard! Hard to find a routine, hard to figure out their changing feeding patterns, and hard to see when things will improve. And that's all on the back of weeks, maybe months, or interrupted sleep already.

I felt that things settled a bit at about 8-10 weeks; I could mostly rely on having my evenings back by then and I'd get up once, maybe twice a night.

Makes sure you're sharing the long lies at the weekend! That's important - you need a break to look forward to.

OrangePowder · 02/06/2021 08:12

Before DS1 was born someone said,"the first six weeks is ll about survival" and I remember thinking well that's not so bad, I can survive anything for six weeks. Little did I know..

Really, really tough. What I will say is after 6 weeks it got better quickly and by 10 weeks I'd started to enjoy it.

I found it easier to be out than in. Lots of walking with the pram.

Iggly · 02/06/2021 08:13

It does get easier and no it’s not the hardest stage. Newborns have relatively simple needs - it’s just impossible sometimes figuring them out 😂

Plus you’ve got all of your hormones to deal with and your body is trying to put itself back together after stretching for 9 months.

Go easy on yourself. You’re getting to know yourself as a mother, getting to know your baby, and everyone has an opinion on how to do it. But they don’t remember it exactly how it was, despite what they may say.

Congratulations!

tiredanddangerous · 02/06/2021 08:13

My first was a high needs baby and it was bloody hard. We definitely turned a corner around the 3 months mark though.

Ohhgreat · 02/06/2021 08:14

My kids didn't sleep as newborns. They certainly wouldn't be put down while I cooked tea.
Still easier than parenting teens!!

supersuds · 02/06/2021 08:14

Yes it is. It gets easier about 12 weeks as others said. Parenting in general is way tougher than I imagined and whilst the sleeep gets easier and you get into your own rhythm (and your old life is a more distant memory) you'll find it easier to take in your own stride.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 02/06/2021 08:14

Parenting your first newborn is hard. I found the second much easier.

LeafBeetle · 02/06/2021 08:15

It is really really hard OP. Things often start improving around 12 weeks, good luck.

8dpwoah · 02/06/2021 08:16

I struggled to really enjoy DD til she was nearly 6 months I'd say (maybe a bit earlier) but when she was starting to be a bit mobile and had a little sense of humour coming. She's two now and she is an absolute joy and has been since she could move and communicate and not get frustrated.
You are nearly through the 'worst' bit OP

Original poster

babyblues21 · 02/06/2021 08:16

@lavenderandwisteria

I found it really difficult

just erm, be warned, MN is not particularly kind to women with young babies. Apparently all they do is sleep so it is easy!

I wish all she did was sleep! I can't put her down, she has to be rocked or held or she won't sleep. I'm so exhausted. All the days and nights are just blurring into one.

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JewelGarden · 02/06/2021 08:16

You're either a newborn person or a toddler/older child person in my experience OP. Some people absolutely love the early days and will moon about sitting around staring at their baby and 'milky snuggles' and watching box sets. And you'll wonder what's wrong with you as you cry and simultaneously want to never sleep so you can protect your baby and also leave them on a church doorstep and run away

But your time will come because the newborn people don't always cope well with the toddler stage but you'll be so grateful the newborn stage is over you'll be like this is amazing! Oh haha he's throwing spaghetti bolognese again, what a legend, so glad he can feed himself at last.

The first 6 weeks are totally the worst. The Wonder Weeks app helped me a lot, it reassures you that although this week might be totally shite next week will be sunny! And it may be bollocks but it always did coincidence with happy and cranky periods for my baby.

Cadburycup · 02/06/2021 08:16

Parenting doesn't get easier sorry. It just gets different and at some point, you get a bit more sleep.

Original poster

babyblues21 · 02/06/2021 08:16

@8dpwoah

I struggled to really enjoy DD til she was nearly 6 months I'd say (maybe a bit earlier) but when she was starting to be a bit mobile and had a little sense of humour coming. She's two now and she is an absolute joy and has been since she could move and communicate and not get frustrated. You are nearly through the 'worst' bit OP

This is what I'm looking forward to - some 2 way interaction so I can see her little personality and enjoy her more.

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TheKeatingFive · 02/06/2021 08:17

Parenting your first newborn is hard. I found the second much easier.

Agree with this.

The not getting anything back thing is very difficult though OP. It improves a lot once the smiles and chuckles kick in.

Ragwort · 02/06/2021 08:17

But all babies are different ... I was lucky, I did have a baby who slept a lot, could be put down without endless cuddling/attention, could be left (safely of course) whilst I showered, cooked, read my book etc ..... but I didn't find the teenage years easy .

Hughbert · 02/06/2021 08:17

The first 6 weeks were fucking brutal. Mine did not sleep for more than an hour at a time and I used to throw up through exhaustion. It improved at 6 weeks when she suddenly started sleeping but I took longer to improve and didn't really get on an even keel until she was about 8 months old.

Original poster

babyblues21 · 02/06/2021 08:18

@TheKeatingFive

Parenting your first newborn is hard. I found the second much easier.

Agree with this.

The not getting anything back thing is very difficult though OP. It improves a lot once the smiles and chuckles kick in.

She's not my first. My first was a breeze compared to this.

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BuffySummersReportingforSanity · 02/06/2021 08:18

I really, really struggled from 3 weeks to 10 or so with my first. Things definitely got distinctly better after 12 weeks. I know that feels forever away but this stage is really, really short. It just doesn't feel that way in the thick of it.

Accept any help you have to hand, be gentle on yourself and do whatever gets you through the day. It will get easier in one specific way soon, because they start giving you big beaming smiles and you FINALLY get something back.

Original poster

babyblues21 · 02/06/2021 08:18

@Hughbert

The first 6 weeks were fucking brutal. Mine did not sleep for more than an hour at a time and I used to throw up through exhaustion. It improved at 6 weeks when she suddenly started sleeping but I took longer to improve and didn't really get on an even keel until she was about 8 months old.

Yep I feel like I could either throw up or pass out from sheer exhaustion

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Thirtyrock39 · 02/06/2021 08:19

I found the newborn stage totally terrifying and overwhelming. From about 8 weeks things do seem to get into a bit more of a pattern and I found it a lot more enjoyable but yes the combination of birth, hormones, no sleep and a little baby that depends on you for everything is really really hard .

Original poster

babyblues21 · 02/06/2021 08:19

@Ragwort

But all babies are different ... I was lucky, I did have a baby who slept a lot, could be put down without endless cuddling/attention, could be left (safely of course) whilst I showered, cooked, read my book etc ..... but I didn't find the teenage years easy

.

I have a teen as well 🙈🤣

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burritofan · 02/06/2021 08:20

Yeah, newborns are tiny devils. Mine stopped feeding to sleep around that age, just popped awake and everyone commented on how alert she was. Meanwhile 6-7 times a day I’d have to bounce her for 20 minutes to get her to sleep, then she’d sleep on me for 20 minutes while I crammed in water, chocolate and Mumsnet.

If you can put the baby down while it’s awake (I happily hold them while sleeping, it’s cosy and lovely and doesn’t last), do! Have a shower while you peer round the curtain every 15 seconds. Put a wash on. Chop something. Stare mindlessly at a book. The baby will be fine on the floor.

^ Disregard the above if yours is extra bellendy.

Mine also screamed from 5pm to 9pm nightly till 4 months, and woke minimum of 6 times a night til she was 18 months. I still look back fondly on the “plonk baby on carpet while I eat haribo and do nothing” days; this morning she told me I had a hairy chin and refused to put her shoes on “because I want my shoes on but not like that!” then howled for 15 minutes.

It does get easier in some ways, harder in others. Soon your baby will babble and smile, and wave and coo, and learn to blow raspberries, and generally be the most beautiful wonderful cleverest miracle child that was ever born (to you).

monkeysox · 02/06/2021 08:20

My first was hard as I'd never done it.
Toddlers are savage as are year 9s.
Good luck op.