DS sneaks food at night

[Protorq]

My DS1 is 16. Our house is 3 stories. On the bottom floor we have the living room and the downstairs toilet.

The first floor is the kitchen, Ds1s room and another toilet. The top floor has, mine and DPs room, DS2s room and the bathroom.

DS1s room is next to the kitchen and he always sneaks into the kitchen at night and makes himself cereal or he eats a packet of biscuits to himself. We don't realise until the morning as me and DP are either in bed or in the living room.

He eats a lot for dinner. This never used to be a problem as he used to share a room with DS2 but obviously now he's older he has his own room.

We've asked him not to eat the whole packet of biscuits as they're not ‘his’ and its unfair on DS2. At times he ate the rest of the cereal that's left and that means DS2 refuses to have breakfast (he's only eats one kind of cereal). But he just ignores us and carries on doing it.
He also doesn't clean up after himself, this morning I went in the kitchen and there was cereal all over the side, he didn't wash his dish up after he used it and he left the cereal out.

Any advice on how to stop this?

He's a teenage boy. They eat a phenomenal amount, all the time.

How’s his weight? What does he eat through the day? It’s quite normal for teens to need a lot of extra food Ben they’re growing. You can’t really control what he eats but you can control what is there for him to eat. Can you discuss it with him and buy appropriate snacks on the basis that he cleans up after himself? Respect generates respect when it comes to teens (most of the time!).

I agree. At that age my DSs were like bottomless pits.

What sort of hours does he keep? The whole of last year and until out of lockdown recently my ds 17 has lived a night shifters life. Xbox and games until the early hours. Cereal at stupid o'clock.. Meals erratic times. He eats like 2 horses. Skinny as a rake.
Suggest filling options for snacks op. Teens are unfillable ime.
My ds also has a fridge in his room (third floor) of bottles of water and cereal bars!

I'm afraid this is normal. At least it is for my DS15. He had a pot noodle the other night he was so hungry. If I were you and assuming he doesn't have any weight issues I would sit down with him and agree what sort of things he should have if he feels hungry in the evening and have a supply ready so he doesn't eat things which are meant to be shared.

As for clearing up... I'm still working of that one but we are getting there slowly. 🤣

@Calvinlookingforhobbes

How’s his weight? What does he eat through the day? It’s quite normal for teens to need a lot of extra food Ben they’re growing. You can’t really control what he eats but you can control what is there for him to eat. Can you discuss it with him and buy appropriate snacks on the basis that he cleans up after himself? Respect generates respect when it comes to teens (most of the time!).

I'm not sure of his weight but I don't think he's overweight as he's tall and slim. He doesn't eat breakfast but for lunch he has anything and for dinner he has whatever I've cooked. He does have snacks in the day though of crisps/fruit/biscuits etc

Teenage boys will eat you out if house and home in my experience. They can’t help it in a way.
But he should not be leaving a mess or eating a whole packet of biscuits - unless he bought them.
Tell him if he needs late night snacks that’s ok but there are strings attached- such as cleaning up! Oh and start buying more cereal, I know teens who can eat 6 weetabix!

Is he really sneaking food though, or is he just helping him self? It doesn’t sound like he’s making much effort to hide his tracks. If he’s genuinely hungry just have a conversation about being respectful, cleaning up after himself, better things to have that may be more appropriate, toast and peanut butter, glass of milk etc. Maybe have a shelf in the fridge/cupboard that’s free for anyone to consume when hungry. If he won’t clear up I might consider not doing other things for him, laundry, lifts etc

Massive leap to make - any chance he's smoking weed and gets the munchie - just a thought.

Other than that, teenage boys scoff phenomenal amounts of food. quite simply keep biscuits and cereal in your room where he cant get at them, which is extreme but serves a purpose. Or tell him if he's hungry, he has toast.

@Aprilwasverywet

What sort of hours does he keep? The whole of last year and until out of lockdown recently my ds 17 has lived a night shifters life. Xbox and games until the early hours. Cereal at stupid o'clock.. Meals erratic times. He eats like 2 horses. Skinny as a rake. Suggest filling options for snacks op. Teens are unfillable ime. My ds also has a fridge in his room (third floor) of bottles of water and cereal bars!

He goes to sleep quite late as he doesn't get up until lunchtime most the time! When he was at school we used to take his phone and his controller at 11 as if we didn't he'd stay up too late but now he's finished school so he stays up late.

Buy more cereal and biscuits. Teen boys are bottomless pits and hungry all the time. I have a set snack basket they can snack from so they don't touch anything important.

Keep your DS2's cereal in his room, agree with all the other comments re teens and their eating but DS1 shouldn't be eating his brother's favourite foods.

Buy lots of Weetabix, they're the most filling. Also see: pasta; rice; bread

Just buy more biscuits - they're cheap enough

It doesn't sound like he's "sneaking food" tbh - surely he's just hungry and making himself a snack?

When I was that age I could easily eat dinner, dessert and then go on to eat 4-6 slices of peanut butter on toast before bed. I was a size 8-10 throughout my teenage years

It's normal.

See, I really dont agree with the mumsnet stance of "this is just what teenage boys do".
It's just bad parenting to ignore inconsiderate and rude behaviour.

They do eat more. Fine. But they dont get to eat their brother's cereal, or eat all of a packet of something for the whole family. There's eating more and then there's just being a rud, selfish, greedy pig. That's the issue here.

What sort of punishment would he usually get for being rude and inconsiderate to other people? You need to start punishing this behaviour, even if yo8u just make him walk to the supermarket and replace what he took with his own money.

Buy him enough food to eat, give him his share in a box of his own. Once it's gone, it's gone and he can wait until the next shopping day. But you mess to enforce it with punishment or just lock the kitchen door if he wont stop taking other people's share of things.

God just buy a pile more biscuits or cereal or cheese and biscuits. Honestly don't make this the hill you die on.

Supply plenty of food and let him eat it

I'm not sure why this is considered 'sneaking' food? He's just getting up and eating it.

Buy more cereal and tell them there'll be consequences if he doesn't clean up after himself.

@Teessider

God just buy a pile more biscuits or cereal or cheese and biscuits. Honestly don't make this the hill you die on.

Supply plenty of food and let him eat it

I agree.

Boiled eggs. Toast. Own brand Weetabix. Noodles. Fruit. Cheese.

They need good to grow.

Yes he shouldn't take more than his share, by if his share is inadequate then you need to buy more.

Literally will just repeat what said above. It’s a teenage thing, I’m a female and was a tall 5’9 at 9 stone as a teenager and would eat and eat and EAT! I would even buy packs of jammy dodgers for my school dinner and finish it to myself, its normal, especially in boys. They’re growing at a rate you wouldn’t believe and are making that transition into men. Think about how many calories a grown man needs and will have.. and then will burn off. Pick your battles, I’d make it about cleaning up after himself if he’s going to help himself at early hours, not about the fact he’s eating.

He could be sneaking out for much worse that cereal! He's hungry- they eat loads at that age, it's lovely to watch.

He’s hungry. Feed him. Every morning that you find a mess he’s not cleared up then deduct pocket money/confiscate something

My teens raid the fridge/cupboards every night after dh and I have gone to bed. It might be fruit, cheese, peanut butter and rice cakes, biscuits or pot noodles.

As long as they tidy up I don't mind. They are hungry and growing like weeds.

A whole packet of biscuits is just greedy though, and you can say just keep buying them but I don’t think anyone actual wants their own child eating packets of biscuits a day, do they? It’s not exactly healthy.

Put key food in an off limits area
Or
Ask him what he wants to have available for eating and create a free eating zone

Then establish and enforce rules about cleaning up after yourself.

He isn’t sneaking good. He is making the choice to eat.

He's hungry. My teenage boys always have a late evening bowl of cereal/biscuits/something! as they just burn through it.