DS sneaks food at night

[Protorq]

My DS1 is 16. Our house is 3 stories. On the bottom floor we have the living room and the downstairs toilet.

The first floor is the kitchen, Ds1s room and another toilet. The top floor has, mine and DPs room, DS2s room and the bathroom.

DS1s room is next to the kitchen and he always sneaks into the kitchen at night and makes himself cereal or he eats a packet of biscuits to himself. We don't realise until the morning as me and DP are either in bed or in the living room.

He eats a lot for dinner. This never used to be a problem as he used to share a room with DS2 but obviously now he's older he has his own room.

We've asked him not to eat the whole packet of biscuits as they're not ‘his’ and its unfair on DS2. At times he ate the rest of the cereal that's left and that means DS2 refuses to have breakfast (he's only eats one kind of cereal). But he just ignores us and carries on doing it.
He also doesn't clean up after himself, this morning I went in the kitchen and there was cereal all over the side, he didn't wash his dish up after he used it and he left the cereal out.

Any advice on how to stop this?

No, I wouldn't want my teens eating whole packets of biscuits. And I don't allow midnight eating as that would just disturb me!

But I supply crackers, cheese, fruit, nuts , roast chicken, wraps, all sorts really. Don't mind a handful of biscuits at all. I don't tend to track this stuff though, just make sure I have plenty in

My mum made a big deal about what I ate and called me greedy.

I ended up being anorexic for over a decade and still have issues with food.

I'm very low contact with her.

So normal! When DS1 was 17 he came home at 1am with his gf and they actually made a cake from scratch, ate it and then went to bed. I had no words!

It's just food, if you were hungry you would go get something, it's no different for him.

Any advice on how to stop this?

Feed him more. If you provide a late supper after his main evening meal but before you go to bed he’s less likely to need to raid the biscuits.

Ds2 often has a toasted bagel with cheese and ham (or two) before bed

They are literally dustbins. I went to agricultural college and would watch a guy about 9 stone wet through eat a full English breakfast, 6 pieces of toast and cereal
At night he would eat an entire multipack of crisps. He's now 36 and still about 9 stone!
They started putting limits on the pieces of toast we could have after seeing how many the agricultural lads could eat

When I did this as a teen it was next I was unhappy. I couldn't have told you that in words back then as I wasn't consciously aware of it. But I was unhappy because of something happening to our family and didn't have any opportunity to process it healthily so I ate in secret and couldn't explain why when asked so just said I'm still hungry.

Because, not next!

I don’t think this is sneaking food either, he’s hungry.

I have a daughter, but my friend has two sons, and fuck me they can eat. Like they can eat and eat and eat.

I’d just try to make sure I’ve enough in for him.

DS14 also does this. We've resorted to putting the foods we want to ration between him and his siblings in the garage. DS has access to cereal, bread etc in the evenings and we buy and give him a week's worth of snacks which when they're gone, they're gone. Seems to be working for now

@Librariesmakeshhhhappen

See, I really dont agree with the mumsnet stance of "this is just what teenage boys do". It's just bad parenting to ignore inconsiderate and rude behaviour.

They do eat more. Fine. But they dont get to eat their brother's cereal, or eat all of a packet of something for the whole family. There's eating more and then there's just being a rud, selfish, greedy pig. That's the issue here.

What sort of punishment would he usually get for being rude and inconsiderate to other people? You need to start punishing this behaviour, even if yo8u just make him walk to the supermarket and replace what he took with his own money.

Buy him enough food to eat, give him his share in a box of his own. Once it's gone, it's gone and he can wait until the next shopping day. But you mess to enforce it with punishment or just lock the kitchen door if he wont stop taking other people's share of things.

I totally agree. Just because he’s a bottomless pit/eat you out of house and home teenager, it doesn’t mean he can be a greedy/selfish so and so.

It’s inconsiderate.

I can’t recall my teen brothers ever doing this (back in the day), it would not have been tolerated.

Could you reposition his late night eating as his version of breakfast op? Since he does not eat in the morning? He’s still only having three meals a day.

My 17 to ds has been awake since 10. Had so far bacon sandwiches - 4 slices of bread and bacon. 3 big wraps with beans and cheese. 4 weetabix.
And his main meal isn't until after 8..

Do not "punish" your 16 year old for eating biscuits and cereal. If this is as bad as it gets then count yourself lucky
Buy more, put stuff you really don't want eating out of sight and keep communicating about the things that matter - and just remind him to wash up that cereal bowl of he's left it out overnight.

Back in the day coming out of your bedroom to eat when you’re hungry wouldn’t of been tolerated? Give over 😂😂

I can’t recall my teen brothers ever doing this (back in the day), it would not have been tolerated

That’s a bit concerning.

I think you can tell on this thread which posters have or know teen boys and which don’t!

Totally normal. Buy more.

Leave out what you are prepared to disappear and lock the rest in the boot of your car.

@MatildaTheCat

Leave out what you are prepared to disappear and lock the rest in the boot of your car.

What a time to be alive eh 😂

This is really normal. Teen boys seem to be hungry all the time, but especially at night. DS1 says he can't sleep if he's hungry (even if he's had a big dinner!)

The only solution is to buy extra food I'm afraid!

I can’t recall my teen brothers ever doing this (back in the day), it would not have been tolerated.

Eating when you're hungry "would not have been tolerated"? Why on earth not?

I don't have a teen DS yet but I do have a 6'4 slim husband who will eat three meals a day and then have Weetabix before bed (at least 4), I can't imagine what it would've been like to feed him as a teenager. The not clearing up is non negotiable and needs consequences, he should have access to a variety of foods that he can make without to much mess/washing up; beans on toast, cheese and crackers, crumpets, toast, peanut butter , cereal etc. Those he can have free access to but it is greedy to eat a whole packet of biscuits that are meant for everyone. You need to have a grown up conversation with him, you understand he is growing, hormonal and hungry and this is your compromise, but it comes with the responsibility of being considerate of other family members, not leaving the kitchen in a mess and not eating all of something meant for sharing.

@ProtorqWith you here - I have 5DC (all now adults - 2 boys).

When did this MN theme that they are "bottomless pits" come from? Yup they need more calories as do girls but they need to be respectful, tidy up and articulate what your boundaries are.

Stop giving adult boys an easy ride as if this is natural behaviour

If any of my DC took food that was destined for siblings - knowing full well the economic and social impact that would have on the family - then they would be losing privileges

Teen boys and girls are not bottomless pits - they are grazers who keep unsociable hours because you either treat them like kids and don't give them a say in what you all buy/eat or you just want an easy life and leave them to eat you out of house and home.

Get a grip

Maybe he's stoned and has the munchies.