DS sneaks food at night

[Protorq]

My DS1 is 16. Our house is 3 stories. On the bottom floor we have the living room and the downstairs toilet.

The first floor is the kitchen, Ds1s room and another toilet. The top floor has, mine and DPs room, DS2s room and the bathroom.

DS1s room is next to the kitchen and he always sneaks into the kitchen at night and makes himself cereal or he eats a packet of biscuits to himself. We don't realise until the morning as me and DP are either in bed or in the living room.

He eats a lot for dinner. This never used to be a problem as he used to share a room with DS2 but obviously now he's older he has his own room.

We've asked him not to eat the whole packet of biscuits as they're not ‘his’ and its unfair on DS2. At times he ate the rest of the cereal that's left and that means DS2 refuses to have breakfast (he's only eats one kind of cereal). But he just ignores us and carries on doing it.
He also doesn't clean up after himself, this morning I went in the kitchen and there was cereal all over the side, he didn't wash his dish up after he used it and he left the cereal out.

Any advice on how to stop this?

@Rewis

Is he hungry or does he just want the good stuff?

I’d hardly qualify cereal or biscuits as “the good stuff”.

Like others said just have a snack cupboard and fill it with way more than you'll ever possibly need (of non-perishable stuff obviously). Food shouln't be restricted for a member of the family. He should show basic consideration though e.g. wiping up after himself and know which foods are off limits e.g. you can't roast yourself an entire chicken as a midnight snack (I remember a friend doing this when we were 17 and his mum wasn't best pleased).

My DS is the same but I don’t consider it sneaking food. To solve it I just buy separate cereal and snacks for DS so that DD always has some as well and just buy a load more food in general.

I try to have protein based stuff too that requires minimum prep though DS seems to have become proficient at using a frying pan.

There's being hungry and being a selfish prick. I recall a thread about adult DH being selfish and eating everything regardless of what was fair - nip it in the bud now!

If that means extra food for him fine. He can't just eat everything and leave everyone else without anything though!

@Aprilwasverywet

My friend's sm had a lock fitted on their fridge when we were teens. She picked the lock one lunchtime and got caught after sm found some cheese bits on the floor. My friend was grounded... Grounded for eating food her own df had paid for. In her own home. Surely preventing your own ds from eating is child abuse? You /he may not think that now but as an adult I bet he will.

I'm not preventing him from eating

Well boiled eggs vs. Biscuits, I'd consider other a bit more of "good stuff".

And coco pops are defo a treat. Not like a bar of choco or ice cream but when there is nothing else then defo a treat!

@iGetPipAndWork

There's being hungry and being a selfish prick. I recall a thread about adult DH being selfish and eating everything regardless of what was fair - nip it in the bud now!

If that means extra food for him fine. He can't just eat everything and leave everyone else without anything though!

Honestly there is no need to hurl abuse like this at the lad because he eats biscuits or cereal.

I have to get up and eat in the night too. Its really annoying. I eat a decent dinner, eat before bed, but often i wake up hungry at some point and have to have a biscuit or something or i cant get back to sleep. Proper hunger pangs. Its annoying, but its been going on years and doctors arent interested. Id like to say i just metabolise food quick, but actually im putting on weight too

Id suggest that rather than raid the cupboards at night, he takes a cereal bar up to bed with him

He needs to get up for breakfast. Even if it’s 11am. He needs to eat decent food. Lots of protein. Supper. Then nothing until the morning. Scoffing a whole packet of biscuits Is greedy and unfair on others who might want one or two.

OP, forgive me but are you able to double up on the biscuit and cereal so he can eat as much as he likes? (Within reason obviously!) Im just thinking in case he's actually hungry. Or do you think he eats out of boredom? And maybe just reiterate that if he's able to help himself to some "midnight snacks", he's definitely old enough to clean up after himself. I haven't actually RTFT so apologies if I missed something!

@Wolfiefan

He needs to get up for breakfast. Even if it’s 11am. He needs to eat decent food. Lots of protein. Supper. Then nothing until the morning. Scoffing a whole packet of biscuits Is greedy and unfair on others who might want one or two.

No he doesn’t need to get up for breakfast. Who sets these arbitrary rules and then tries to enforce them. There is nothing wrong with eating when you’re hungry. And as he seems to eat healthy the rest of his meals and doesn’t have a weight issue, then it’s fine. Not ideal, but fine.

Forcing people to eat at certain times of the day is as ludicrous as for i g them to eat at midnight.

Even when he used to get up early for school he never ate breakfast, occasionally he'd have a piece of toast but most the time he wouldn't have anything and it was his choice and when he gets up late now, his never wants anything to eat

Night owls often dont eat breakfast. Its not a choice, its just the way we're wired.

My mother had 4 boys. She ended up getting 4 boxes of cereal and naming them. 4 snack boxes again with names on them. Only once did one try to eat anothers when they had finished their own.

Only once. My mothers wrath, rarely raised, was a thing to behold.

Eating half a pack of cereal knowing it will mean your sibling will have no breakfast is selfish behaviour.

If I'd done that my mum would have told me off and made me walk to the shop and buy more. And the same if I ate an entire packet of biscuits that were meant for everyone!

It's fine to eat when you are hungry, but not to eat all of something that is meant for everyone!

My friend had a house share at uni and one of them was like this with food. I can see now from some of the replies here how people like that are made!

Eating cereal and biscuits is hardly eating the family supply of sirloin steak and quails eggs.

I have teen boys and they dont do this because they are fed 4 or 5 times a day. And because I buy enough cereal and milk so that an extra bowlful or two isnt going to inconvenience anyone.

@Protorq

Even when he used to get up early for school he never ate breakfast, occasionally he'd have a piece of toast but most the time he wouldn't have anything and it was his choice and when he gets up late now, his never wants anything to eat

I can't face food before around 1:30am either!

@Protorq

Even when he used to get up early for school he never ate breakfast, occasionally he'd have a piece of toast but most the time he wouldn't have anything and it was his choice and when he gets up late now, his never wants anything to eat

Yes sounds like he needs that “breakfast” just before he goes to bed, instead of when he’s wakes up. Just try and encourage it to be something nutritious that’s going to fill him up.

Who makes these decisions???
Unless he’s on night shifts it is normal to get up in the morning. He’s hungry as he’s skipping a meal. I sometimes don’t eat breakfast as I don’t like to rush food in the morning.
But if it was making me wake in the night and eat a whole packet of food (so leaving none for anyone else) then I would get up a bit earlier so I could eat something in the morning.
His eating and sleeping habits are disordered.
He needs to eat better food and more of it during the day so he’s not waking up at nights.

@Wolfiefan

Who makes these decisions??? Unless he’s on night shifts it is normal to get up in the morning. He’s hungry as he’s skipping a meal. I sometimes don’t eat breakfast as I don’t like to rush food in the morning. But if it was making me wake in the night and eat a whole packet of food (so leaving none for anyone else) then I would get up a bit earlier so I could eat something in the morning. His eating and sleeping habits are disordered. He needs to eat better food and more of it during the day so he’s not waking up at nights.

Teens do have different sleeping patterns. It's been well documented

@Wolfiefan

Who makes these decisions??? Unless he’s on night shifts it is normal to get up in the morning. He’s hungry as he’s skipping a meal. I sometimes don’t eat breakfast as I don’t like to rush food in the morning. But if it was making me wake in the night and eat a whole packet of food (so leaving none for anyone else) then I would get up a bit earlier so I could eat something in the morning. His eating and sleeping habits are disordered. He needs to eat better food and more of it during the day so he’s not waking up at nights.

Unless he’s on night shifts it is normal to get up in the morning. He’s hungry as he’s skipping a meal.

According to who? There are lots of jobs out there that don't require people to get up first thing in the morning!

But if it was making me wake in the night and eat a whole packet of food (so leaving none for anyone else) then I would get up a bit earlier so I could eat something in the morning.

But that's your choice. Other people are allowed to do things differently.

His eating and sleeping habits are disordered.

Yes, because he's a teenager and it's well documented that their sleep patterns are different to those of young children an adults. It's natural for teenagers to want to sleep in late and stay up late.

He needs to eat better food and more of it during the day so he’s not waking up at nights.

Where does it say he's waking up to eat? Surely he's just having his three meals but at different times to his parents?

@Wolfiefan

Who makes these decisions??? Unless he’s on night shifts it is normal to get up in the morning. He’s hungry as he’s skipping a meal. I sometimes don’t eat breakfast as I don’t like to rush food in the morning. But if it was making me wake in the night and eat a whole packet of food (so leaving none for anyone else) then I would get up a bit earlier so I could eat something in the morning. His eating and sleeping habits are disordered. He needs to eat better food and more of it during the day so he’s not waking up at nights.

We can't stop him staying up and getting up late now as he's finished school. He does way a lot during the day as he has meals and also snacks if he's hungry.

You can stop him staying up late and getting up really late if it bothers you.

@Wolfiefan

You can stop him staying up late and getting up really late if it bothers you.

How do you force a teenager to sleep? I'm intrigued!