DS sneaks food at night

[Protorq]

My DS1 is 16. Our house is 3 stories. On the bottom floor we have the living room and the downstairs toilet.

The first floor is the kitchen, Ds1s room and another toilet. The top floor has, mine and DPs room, DS2s room and the bathroom.

DS1s room is next to the kitchen and he always sneaks into the kitchen at night and makes himself cereal or he eats a packet of biscuits to himself. We don't realise until the morning as me and DP are either in bed or in the living room.

He eats a lot for dinner. This never used to be a problem as he used to share a room with DS2 but obviously now he's older he has his own room.

We've asked him not to eat the whole packet of biscuits as they're not ‘his’ and its unfair on DS2. At times he ate the rest of the cereal that's left and that means DS2 refuses to have breakfast (he's only eats one kind of cereal). But he just ignores us and carries on doing it.
He also doesn't clean up after himself, this morning I went in the kitchen and there was cereal all over the side, he didn't wash his dish up after he used it and he left the cereal out.

Any advice on how to stop this?

Just keep extra in the boot of the car, of it;s only a few items.

Maybe ask him what cereal he'd like and then those are his boxes to last a given period. He can't touch any of the other cereals for his midnight snacks and if he finishes them before the given time then he has to buy more himself.

Teenage boys are bottomless pits for food.

He’s eating late and sleeping later - can you consider the late night meal as early breakfast and encourage him to eat cereal? As for finishing DS2’s cereal before his breakfast - buy more or keep a spare box for him elsewhere?

I remember a social worker explaining to me that she was attached to a childrens home where they locked the kitchen and how the children couldn't lead a normal life as a result. I've an 18 year old boy whose bedroom is often better stocked than the kitchen, let it go.

My ds is 17 and eats loads of absolutely everything. Bananas, chicken, rice, family meals, bacon and eggs, biscuits, cake, cereal, cereal bars etc etc.
I really don't mind, he works as an apprentice, works out at the gym for about two hours 6/7 days a week, walks miles to see his girlfriend and doesn't have an ounce of fat on him.
We do have rules though. He eats biscuits by the handful, but has to leave some for others. Big bowls of cereal etc but again not all of it.

If he’s not overweight you just need to make more food freely available to him. Teenagers can need a phenomenal amount of calories,

Could be a growth spurt- that sometimes makes them act differently too. Make sure he has something to eat before bed- toast, his own cereal, a sandwich. Make sure he has plenty of healthy snacks he enjoys and just speak to him about being considerate of others when meeting his own needs. They may seem like aliens but most teenage boys just need simple reminders and to be nudged in the right direction of how to function as humans.

It seems a bit strange to refer to a family member eating something as 'sneaking food'. If he eats dinner at say 6pm and he's up late then he'll get hungry again before going to bed.
Ask him to clean up after himself obviously.

What are you serving for your evening meal? Soup/salad or anything light is not going to cut it. He needs protein and lots of it. Our ds is 19, tall and thin and will eat two evening meals, whatever we have and a whole other meal a few hours later. I buy lots of choices but it’s normally something like gnocchi or pasta with homemade sauce, smoked salmon, cheese, etc.

I also tell him to make what he wants but to please clean up; more often than not I have to remind him to do it 100%. He’s eating biscuits because their fat level fills him up, he’s hungry.

If he’s not having breakfast isn’t he nightly cereal just his equivalent of that
I have two teen boys the 16 year old is a bottomless pit he has open access to fruit yoghurt cereal toast noodles etc but the treats such as biscuits and crisps are in a communal cupboard and he will ask before he takes those

@MrsFin

He's a teenage boy. They eat a phenomenal amount, all the time.

Yep. All of mine have gone through this phase!

I think YABU! Food doesn't need to be shared equally. If he's hungry and not out of control (and from what you say re weight he's fine) then he eats.

shouldistop

It seems a bit strange to refer to a family member eating something as 'sneaking food'. If he eats dinner at say 6pm and he's up late then he'll get hungry again before going to bed.
Ask him to clean up after himself obviously.“

Agree. “Sneaking food” suggests food is limited. In our house, if you’re hungry, you have something to eat 🤷‍♀️

I was a skinny size 6 (4 in today’s sizes) teen and would eat 2-4 rounds of toast plus crisps at 10pm each night. I felt so hungry, I just couldn’t sleep without it. If my parry had restricted me I’d have felt insane with hunger. I was body conscious, but the desire to consumer calories was unreal.

I tend to make an extra portion or two of dinner (make it healthy) and that stays in the pot/goes in the fridge and DS can eat it later if hungry. Something like chicken and veg curry which fills him up. I wouldn't be encouraging eating biscuits and cereal as snacks personally as they are generally too sugary.

DS eats quite a lot and is very thin so I would never restrict food but I figure if he needs to eat in volume he may as well get lots of veg and protein in there!

Boys his age eat absolutley astonishing amounts. The cereal and biscuit eating is absolutley standard. When you have a teenage boy you need to buy more food. Not only do they eat huge amounts so much research shows their body clocks run on a different schedule so they are awake later at night and sleep later in the morning (if not woken) and they eat at night. They also buy themselves a lot if food with any money they have.
You need to buy extra cereal and extra biscuits so there are some for his brother. He's hungry.

I have a 16 year old boy who fried himself 4 sausages and 3 eggs with two slices of toast at midnight-ish last night.

We had had roast beef, roast potatoes, yorkshire pudding, veg and gravy for tea (6pm) - followed by rhubarb crumble and ice cream.

He left the pan to soak. I'm not bothered. He's hungry.

Agree with those suggesting buy more food and accept that they go through growth spurts where they are constantly hungry.

@Librariesmakeshhhhappen

See, I really dont agree with the mumsnet stance of "this is just what teenage boys do". It's just bad parenting to ignore inconsiderate and rude behaviour.

They do eat more. Fine. But they dont get to eat their brother's cereal, or eat all of a packet of something for the whole family. There's eating more and then there's just being a rud, selfish, greedy pig. That's the issue here.

What sort of punishment would he usually get for being rude and inconsiderate to other people? You need to start punishing this behaviour, even if yo8u just make him walk to the supermarket and replace what he took with his own money.

Buy him enough food to eat, give him his share in a box of his own. Once it's gone, it's gone and he can wait until the next shopping day. But you mess to enforce it with punishment or just lock the kitchen door if he wont stop taking other people's share of things.

Or maybe just try getting more food in before you start thinking about a padlock for the kitchen door 🙄

If there’s enough food he’s unlikely to eat his brother’s stuff.

Teens (especially the ‘tall and skinny’ kind) will eat you out of house and home! This is normal and they can’t help being hungry. I’m always shocked at how pissy parents get that their teens dare to eat food without ‘permission’ and find it weird that basic food like toast, cereal or fruit is viewed as such a luxury. If your finances aren’t dire then I would suggest stocking up on supermarket own brand biscuits/cereal/crisps and letting DS have these in his room.

YANBU to ask him to clean up after himself or not eat the specific items your other DS likes but YABU to expect him to not eat anything when he’s hungry

He is having breakfast, he's just having it early. Buy more cereal, bread, spreads, but not more biscuits. By all means lay down the law about him not finishing the only thing DS2 will eat, but make sure there is other equivalent cereal in.

I think secret midnight eating can be a worrying thing, and not one to be encouraged, but if he's up for many hours after dinner it would actually be weird for him NOT to get hungry.

It's inconsiderate to finish a packet of cereal when his brother only eats that for breakfast and to leave a mess but of course a tall, slim teenage boy is going to go in the kitchen and get himself a snack. Teenagers are often semi nocturnal so eating a night isn't a surprise either. Just buy more biscuits/toast/cereal and insist he tidies up.

You need to buy more food, and have a conversation about being considerate.

I would maybe have 2 separate tubs, and when you do the shopping split things up.

Also maybe get some different options in following your discussion.

I have 4 boys, all currently in or through teenage hood and they do need more food. I had a traffic light system of what could be eaten, what needed to be asked about and what must not be touched. If they finished something they let me know and could be expected to be sent to the shop to replenish.

Oatcakes were my DS's thing. Would literally eat a whole pack sandwiches with peanut butter and marmite. Every day. On top of meals. It was his home too. If he was hungry he was allowed to eat.
If you're worried about scoffing sweet biscuits get something more wholesome and filling like oatcakes.
But don't call him greedy. Judgy language around food isn't good

They eat vast amounts at weird hours, quite normal. Try to push him towards healthy options. Good luck on the clearing up, I’ve tried rewarding,punishing, disappointment, sadness- nothing works for long! I remind myself that they won’t be around forever, and to enjoy the good bits!

I couldn't get upset about him eating.

I would be seriously pissed off about the mess.