DS sneaks food at night

[Protorq]

My DS1 is 16. Our house is 3 stories. On the bottom floor we have the living room and the downstairs toilet.

The first floor is the kitchen, Ds1s room and another toilet. The top floor has, mine and DPs room, DS2s room and the bathroom.

DS1s room is next to the kitchen and he always sneaks into the kitchen at night and makes himself cereal or he eats a packet of biscuits to himself. We don't realise until the morning as me and DP are either in bed or in the living room.

He eats a lot for dinner. This never used to be a problem as he used to share a room with DS2 but obviously now he's older he has his own room.

We've asked him not to eat the whole packet of biscuits as they're not ‘his’ and its unfair on DS2. At times he ate the rest of the cereal that's left and that means DS2 refuses to have breakfast (he's only eats one kind of cereal). But he just ignores us and carries on doing it.
He also doesn't clean up after himself, this morning I went in the kitchen and there was cereal all over the side, he didn't wash his dish up after he used it and he left the cereal out.

Any advice on how to stop this?

Gracious, what sort of truly dysfunctional family locks their teenage children out of the kitchen?

@LemonRoses

Gracious, what sort of truly dysfunctional family locks their teenage children out of the kitchen?

Well precisely! I can’t even imagine it.

@Bluntness100

Leaving no food for your sibling is being a selfish prick though!

And all these adult men who carry on these selfish behaviours where they just do things for themselves without thinking about anyone else.

Allowing such shitty behaviour now isn't ok! He should be made to go buy more ready for his siblings breakfast.

It's so easy to see where selfish men come from.
Homes where they are never asked to be considerate of others.

There is a certain amount of junk food bought in this house (far too much unfortunately🙄), but if one member was eating far more than their reasonable share, they would hear about it, and have.

It's selfish and inconsiderate.

I don't want anyone to think that they can live their life in this house and think it's ok to not give a damn about anyone but themselves.

They need to self regulate and if they don't and another person says X has eaten all of something repeatedly, then it absolutely is going to be an issue.

Not all children are instinctively considerate of others.
Some of them need it explained to them so they learn.

Just another act of parenting IMO.

If he is tall and thin you don’t need to stop him. You need to review your shopping and get more in if it is always running out. The two boys do not need to eat an equal number of biscuits, so I don’t understand why it being “unfair”.

Can't believe the amount of people advocating locks on kitchen doors or hiding food in boots of cars
No wonder there are so many kids with eating disorders.

@CoronaBanana

Can't believe the amount of people advocating locks on kitchen doors or hiding food in boots of cars No wonder there are so many kids with eating disorders.

Yes. I am left wondering whether I need to install CCTV and get a trained German Shepherd in case one of ours comes home when we are out and raids the freezer or fridge.

The answer is surely to have enough food so that they can eat what they want when they are at home - past a certain age, obviously. I don't know how much a packet of custard creams is these days, but not huge I imagine. I shall google..... Aldi apparently do several packets called a biscuit barrel collection for 99p.

I confess we had a system of marking 'not to be touched food' that was specifically for a meal (maybe a leftover ham or a curry I was going to give the neighbours). If it didn't have a biohazard sticker, they were free to help themselves (on the understanding that when it was gone, it was gone). I used to think it was brilliant that the leftover lasagne or a bowl of coronation chicken would disappear down throats rather than go in teh waste bin.

@Wolfiefan For most teenagers their natural body clock wants them to go to bed late and get up late. It's normal and healthy. Having an adult decide on the schedule for a teenage boy is massively controlling and to be honest strange. Tackle the behaviour that's actually an issue (making a mess and being careful to not use up food which is for other people too). The rest you need to step back and let them set their own schedule and eat as their hunger dictates.

You parent your way. I’ll do mine.
I don’t send mine to bed early. But neither am I prepared to have them sitting up until 4am and not getting up until the afternoon. There’s a big difference.

My DS always ate like a horse and as a teenager ate and ate! I would buy more but encourage him to eat protein as well.

Buy him cereal he likes but he must leave his brother's alone. He will understand this if he can eat as much of the other stuff he likes.

I was always small but as a teenager I would get up in the night to eat cheese and apples!

@Wolfiefan

You parent your way. I’ll do mine. I don’t send mine to bed early. But neither am I prepared to have them sitting up until 4am and not getting up until the afternoon. There’s a big difference.

Hah I bet they get up in the night and are just REALLY careful not to wake you up! 😂

Buy more food. Teen boys eat a lot especially at 16 as that is a growth spurt time for them

Enforce a clean up after yourself rule.

Stop viewing it as “sneaking food” that’s going to create disordered eating. It’s probably why he goes for biscuits and cereal as they are quick to grab quietly in the kitchen and then eat in your room. Cereal/large packages of biscuits it is also hard to tell if any is gone until it is all gone.

If you didn’t actively call it “sneaking food” he might be more likely to go for better (but noisier) food choices.

Fine for a teenage boy to have a big appetite, not fine to help himself to everyone's food without a thought for anyone else.

I would agree to set aside a cupboard with some reasonably filling but healthy food he can eat without specific permission - peanut butter and toast, baked beans, some eggs and cheese. If he must have biscuits & cereal avoid the most junky options - get ones with a bit less sugar, weetabix, rich tea biscuits.

@Wolfiefan

You parent your way. I’ll do mine. I don’t send mine to bed early. But neither am I prepared to have them sitting up until 4am and not getting up until the afternoon. There’s a big difference.

I’m with you about not having them up to 4am on games consoles. Ours were generally up early for school, activities or now work. Usually at university too. That didn’t stop the lads eating a lot at every available opportunity. Their visiting friends did likewise. Open fridge or larder and eat was their default setting. The time of day was irrelevant.

They need to learn to self regulate at some point, my rules are bedtime on school nights, but Fridays and Saturdays are bedtime free. I don't sneak around if they stay up late and I would get cross if they woke me up late, but mostly they come to bed about 1am and wake before lunchtime.

@CoronaBanana

Can't believe the amount of people advocating locks on kitchen doors or hiding food in boots of cars No wonder there are so many kids with eating disorders.

It sounds to me that there are just many kids who are plain greedy and inconsiderate.

My DS used to eat tons !! When he was home from Uni he'd have dinner with us then Deliveroo would arrive at midnight. It's a phase .. I miss him when he's away at Uni .. stock up on more biscuits.. hide the good ones !!

I am a foster carer of teens. You have described EVERY SINGLE teenage boy I have ever cared for over the past 30 years. Nothing I have ever done or put into place has ever made any difference. Nothing has stopped their silent middle of the night food raids, whatever floor they have slept on.

@supersonicsue

I am a foster carer of teens. You have described EVERY SINGLE teenage boy I have ever cared for over the past 30 years. Nothing I have ever done or put into place has ever made any difference. Nothing has stopped their silent middle of the night food raids, whatever floor they have slept on.

Can you imagine social services response if they discovered you'd put locks on kitchen doors? 😱

I am onto teen number 3.

They all do it. Drove me bonkers with DS1 - he lived to tell the tale. DS2 then started and I made peace with it being "a thing". DD now does it too.

Cleaning up after themselves is not negotiable.

Ps - if he was truly being sneaky, you wouldn't see the mess next morning. He's hungry not sneaky

@billy1966

It's so easy to see where selfish men come from. Homes where they are never asked to be considerate of others.

There is a certain amount of junk food bought in this house (far too much unfortunately🙄), but if one member was eating far more than their reasonable share, they would hear about it, and have.

It's selfish and inconsiderate.

I don't want anyone to think that they can live their life in this house and think it's ok to not give a damn about anyone but themselves.

They need to self regulate and if they don't and another person says X has eaten all of something repeatedly, then it absolutely is going to be an issue.

Not all children are instinctively considerate of others.
Some of them need it explained to them so they learn.

Just another act of parenting IMO.

Really. A middle of the night bowl of cocopops is that bad.

Come on

If he's leaving a mess, is he awake when he does it?

Can you imagine social services response if they discovered you'd put locks on kitchen doors?

LOL - yes, they'd be removed before the end of the day!

LOL - yes, they'd be removed before the end of the day

The children not the locks!! LOL

@supersonicsue

LOL - yes, they'd be removed before the end of the day

The children not the locks!! LOL

😂😂😂😂