DS sneaks food at night

[Protorq]

My DS1 is 16. Our house is 3 stories. On the bottom floor we have the living room and the downstairs toilet.

The first floor is the kitchen, Ds1s room and another toilet. The top floor has, mine and DPs room, DS2s room and the bathroom.

DS1s room is next to the kitchen and he always sneaks into the kitchen at night and makes himself cereal or he eats a packet of biscuits to himself. We don't realise until the morning as me and DP are either in bed or in the living room.

He eats a lot for dinner. This never used to be a problem as he used to share a room with DS2 but obviously now he's older he has his own room.

We've asked him not to eat the whole packet of biscuits as they're not ‘his’ and its unfair on DS2. At times he ate the rest of the cereal that's left and that means DS2 refuses to have breakfast (he's only eats one kind of cereal). But he just ignores us and carries on doing it.
He also doesn't clean up after himself, this morning I went in the kitchen and there was cereal all over the side, he didn't wash his dish up after he used it and he left the cereal out.

Any advice on how to stop this?

I don’t think you can solve this tbh, you can however ask him to tidy up after himself and give him some cash for his own snacks and/or offer to buy him his own cereal etc. I stressed over this for a while then decided to concentrate on picking the worst parts of nighttime eating to negotiate with my teenager. For me it was noise and tidying so he didn’t wake me up (sounds like yours isn’t) and I didn’t get up in the morning to a big mess. Now there are a few food options he knows he can have if he fancies a snack (cereal/toast/microwave rice etc) and I just occasionally nag him to have a piece of fruit or some salad etc with his snack.

We are in bed by 11pm and then the zombies of my house starrt the scavenging.
Savoury crisps, crackers, biscuits, cake, icescream, cereal...they hoover it up.

BUT God help them if they leave a mess.

Being fussy, I leave a clean, tidy kitchen and they had better tidy up after themselves.

That means everything in the dishwasher and all surfaces clean.

Non negotiable.
OP, get snacks in but make it patiently clean he leaves the kitchen as he found it.

I think I only had to wake the house twice about it very early in the morning 😁for the penny to drop that they had better.."tidy up after ourselves"

Buy more food. Sneaks 🙄

My son eats loads. I don’t buy biscuits and I am very picky about cereal so I know he’s not filling himself with sugary snacks, but aside from that I let him crack on. They eat a lot because they need it.

It sounds like he isn't "sneaking" food at all if he's leaving a mess behind....just getting hungry and eating.

Leaving a mess isn't on though. Nor is eating other people's food.

I have to ask though, is a "whole packet" of biscuits like 8 jammy dodgers, or 30 rich teas? It's quite a difference.

He has his dinner and usually a packet of crisps at about 8/9pm (we usually have dinner at 6). I don't mind him eating at night but the issue is about the cereal and biscuits etc. When he finishes off the cereal, I hadn't bought another box as there was half the box left and then the next day I found out he’d eaten it all.

@Anotherdayanotherdollar he eats any biscuits we have like digestives etc

I have a selection of food items that they can help themselves to op. Food autonomy is important for a healthy relationship with food. Making it taboo or restrictive can lead to issues.

Fresh fruit, healthy cereals, cheese and crackers or hoummots and dips and occasional treats are all fine.

He does sound normal - but if dinner is at 6 and he only has a packet of crisps at 8, then yes, he's going to be hungry later!

Can you put a lock on the kitchen door and lock it up when you go to bed?

This all seems quite easy to solve. Just buy him his own cereal that other DS doesn't like and make sure there's plenty of it. Maybe give him a budget for buying his own snacks so you always have in what he likes.

@NannyAndJohn

Can you put a lock on the kitchen door and lock it up when you go to bed?

Please don't do this. It's absolutely insane. Kids need access to food when they're hungry.

@InTheDrunkTank He could always buy his own snacks with his own money and keep them in his room.

@NannyAndJohn

Can you put a lock on the kitchen door and lock it up when you go to bed?

Horrible idea.

OP if he has dinner at 6 then he needs a more substantial supper than crisps. Suggest he makes himself toast or cereal (or both!) and plan ahead agreeing with him what you will buy for his suppers.

I'd be tempted to lock the cereal and most biscuits away but also have a snack cupboard anyone can access at any time.

In fact I'd consider getting DS his own fridge, put it in his bedroom and on the top put a box for cereal / crisps / biscuits.

Teens being teens ease of getting food is a factor, easier to get fruit from his own fridge than biscuits from the kitchen.

Buy a box of cereal for him, labelled and buy another one for your other child. That way he isn't diving into his brother's stuff. I used to have a drawer in the cupboard and one in the fridge which was off limits as it was used for Ds2's packed lunches. Everything else was available to eat.

Teens do go through a lot of food. Sometimes it is boredom but you would be amazed at what they can put away. Ds has stopped doing this now. It happened when he was about 17. But from 14 onward boy could that child eat.

And definitely make him clear up any mess, even if that means waking him up to do it so you have a clear kitchen to start with.

He is only being fed two meals a day because he's sleeping when he would normally eat breakfast. As such the evening cereal/toast etc is just the equivalent of his breakfast. It's therefore not surprising that he's hungry late at night.

Just feed the child..

@NannyAndJohn

Can you put a lock on the kitchen door and lock it up when you go to bed?

What??? Do you actually have children?

We have a cupboard of crackers, two minute noodles, nac’n’cheese, some crisps, cereal and chip a soups; he’s allowed to have anything from the cupboard as long as its not just before a meal. We also have a bowl of fruit for snacking too. By having a special cupboard, it means that we can have biscuits and treats and know they’ll still be there when we want them!

NannyAndJohn

Can you put a lock on the kitchen door and lock it up when you go to bed?”

What? 😳

I’ve seen “other people’s food” mentioned a couple of times now. Do people really have individual food in families (medical requirements aside, obvs.) ?
I buy food for the family, it goes in the cupboards, people help themselves if they’re hungry.

You’re not giving him nearly enough food, and also not at the times he’s hungry. He’s not sneaking anything, he’s feeding himself.

Keep those 48 packs of Weetabix in, and plenty of instant noodles. Or ask him his preferred late night food, and buy far more than you think he’ll need. At 17 one of mine would eat 6 Weetabix in a sitting and I can’t finish 2.

Healthy cereals, bananas, peanut butter rice cakes, whatever... discuss it, agree it, buy it. He can’t eat his brother’s stuff or sweet things and he must wipe up after himself.

And stop disapproving of a healthy lad having a (perfectly normal) big appetite.

@hilarymantlepiece

NannyAndJohn

Can you put a lock on the kitchen door and lock it up when you go to bed?”

What? 😳

I’ve seen “other people’s food” mentioned a couple of times now. Do people really have individual food in families (medical requirements aside, obvs.) ?
I buy food for the family, it goes in the cupboards, people help themselves if they’re hungry.

I sometimes have to be explicit with my eldest (asd) about what I'm saving for lunches etc so that he doesn't inadvertently scoff all the food I'd planned to use for other meals. Which is why we have a cupboard tjat they can freely choose from and areas which are off limits because I'm planning to use for other meals during the week.

My friend's sm had a lock fitted on their fridge when we were teens.
She picked the lock one lunchtime and got caught after sm found some cheese bits on the floor. My friend was grounded...
Grounded for eating food her own df had paid for.
In her own home.
Surely preventing your own ds from eating is child abuse? You /he may not think that now but as an adult I bet he will.

DS was and is still like this though it has calmed a little. Be grateful it’s biscuits he loves hot food and will be cooking eggs with spices to put on spicy ramen and the smell will waft up the stairs and wake me up. We aren’t English I would be so pleased if it was just cereal.

Is he hungry or does he just want the good stuff?