To be upset at my dp reaction when he saw his ex at our house?

[Momto2girliess]

Long time reader but first time poster. DP and I been together for 7 years , and have 2 children. His ex wife and him have 2 kids together and get along well. She often comes over with her husband.

I am a Sahm , so when his kids are there - every other week- I take care of them. He leaves at 6 and comes back at 7. The DC are 11 and 8. Their mom often babysits my 2 kids , and I babysit for her 2 toddlers.

Last night, she was with me and all the kids. DP got home and when she left he got very angry front of the children. " She is my ex, not yours!!" He went on to say that from now on he doesn't want our 2 kids to see her ,or for me to babysit for her other children.

He asks me to delete her phone number, and that he will take care of everything for his DC ( dropping them back, picking them up to their mom's) but somehow he still wants me to take care of them when they are there.

I am so surprised , I thought he liked his new and old partners to get along. He reminded me this morning " Don't talk to X , she is not the mom of your kids". I had no idea he felt that way. Everytime she was over with her husband he seemed to have enjoyed it

Aibu to be upset?

So sorry to see your update op, good luck with everything

@Greenbks

Oh no I was hoping this wasn’t going to lead to this. I’m so sorry.

Why did she not tell you this before?! Why did she hide it. I suppose it’s pointless now but she should have said something when you first asked her which makes me think she might feel the same or have been trying to hide something.

Either way this is shit and you deserve someone who loves the amazing person YOU are. He is a fool and won’t realise until later what he is missing.

Ps on advise on leaving- have you told him? Is there a chance of this becoming nasty? If so, maybe you should hold off telling him and see if you can make the arrangements first and have support should you need it. Please don’t underestimate what he might be capable of especially if you are taking the kids

That's a ridiculous statement. She DID tell the OP. She probably felt between a rock and a hard place, wondering what to say, giving him the brush off, hoping he'd feck off.

I am so sorry for everything that you’ve been through. He’s a nasty bully.

Contact women’s aid and they will definitely help you.

So sorry OP. You deserve more. ❤️

So sorry to read your update OP.

You deserve so much better.

He is utter scum.

You are better off near your family.

He most certainly doesn't have your best interests at heart.

Every good wish to you.

Sorry to hear this Op but glad she's told you. Have you gone already? If not, good decision & travel safe.

Really hope he doesn’t try to stop you taking the children to Madagascar with you. I’m worried that he will do that and you will be unable to leave as you planned. My heart breaks for you, he has behaved appallingly. Please let us know when you have managed to go home safely.

I’m so sorry. Disappointing behaviour from her too to not have told you sooner. Well done for not putting up with it and going home.

You’ll need legal advice about removing g the DC from one jurisdiction to another. Does he know your plan?

Hope you are ok op this is awful

So sorry Op, what shitty behaviour on his part.

@Momto2girliess

He tried to hit on her. She showed me all the texts. Dozens and dozens of messages of him " I STILL LOVE YOU".

I decided to go back to Madagascar.

And that's the actual truth of why he tried to stop the friendship, he was worried ex would show you those texts.

You are right with you're decision, move back home to your family and forget the using cheating dick

So many posters were bang on correct too...

Mumsnets collective is flippin amazing 🎉

Op I'm so sorry to hear this is how it turned out. What a dickhead he is.

He expected you to facilitate his hopeful affair with babysitting! I hope the move home goes ok