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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The “Cycling Send-Off Woman.” What the hell?

813 replies

4cats4kids · 31/05/2021 16:41

Sorry if this sounds petty, but the most terrible woman came to my house yesterday and I still can’t believe the audacity of her. My husband is in a cycling training team and one of the things they do is meet at 7am on a Sunday morning at a cafe and then they go off out of London on their various routes. This has been going on years and they are basically cycling round the world in stages (as part of a larger group).

So apparently, this weekend was “our turn” to do lunch for this lot - a.k.a “my turn” (but don’t worry, I will not be making a habit of it). I was expecting about 8 who are all men, but this atrocious woman turned up in a sports car before them and was sitting on the drive waiting until they came. I thought she must be something to do with nextdoor (shared driveway), but when they showed up on the bikes she came in with them.

My husband was kind of mouthing, “sorry” to me and they all looked embarrassed. Then he tells me, he’s really sorry, but this is “the cycling send-off woman” Confused and today she has followed them in the car. So basically, I have since found out that this nut job of a woman seems to think she is in the cycling team and turns up at the crack of dawn when they meet and in all weathers, though she never actually cycles with them. Apparently, she always says she will join them one day, but never does. She doesn’t even have the right kind of bike, her bike is apparently more a shopping bike with streamers on the handlebars like a 4 year-old! Once she did cycle with them, but only for about a mile as she couldn’t keep up. She wears really short shorts and brings them all muffins and god knows what apparently at 7am Hmm. DH says they never eat them. Also, she waves pom-poms when they leave. I couldn’t believe it. I asked my husband why he’s never mentioned her before and I said it’s fairly obvious why she’s showing up. He just said they don’t know why she comes and they all think she’s mad. On this day, she had driven to some other cafe where they stop in Surrey because it was a nice day and she fancied the drive. Then she took it upon herself to turn up for lunch because she thinks she’s in the cycling club!

She is like something from Ab Fab and really loud. They were in the garden and there I was, backwards and forwards, while she was going on about how she’s just bought a Zwift, but she can’t seem to get it set up, so could any of them come over to her house and set it up for her (nobody offered and it was very awkward). I also heard her tell my husband (loudly) that she’d really like to bring her son to his boxing club and maybe he could he train them both? It was so very strange. As if! Also, she wasn’t exactly making an effort to talk to me. How rude. I have never come across a woman like this in my life. She is late 40s - who behaves like this?

AIBU to be annoyed that this happened at all? My husband has apologised but seems to think it’s a joke. He doesn’t get it at all. These men are late 40s and collectively, should be able to get rid of this lunatic. He says it’s a public cafe and there’s lots of people there and they can’t really stop her. Well, just find a different place to meet then!

OP posts:
UhtredRagnarson · 01/06/2021 12:43

he does another sport where, trust me, there are plenty of glamorous women of the promotional variety who are about 20 years younger and basically paid to stand around as some kind of weird ego boost. I am hardly the jealous, psycho wife, trust me on this. For yet more context, if he was that way inclined, there have been occasions over the years where he has been in situations of being entertained by clients and, at some point, escorts and / or strippers have appeared as part of the proceedings. He has always told me about this kind of incident and I’ve no reason to believe he’s ever gone there, so why would I think that now because of this particular woman?

Because escorts, strippers and promo girls have no interest in shagging your husband. They’re only there to get paid. Cycle fan is there willingly, eagerly and enthusiastically. Totally different scenario.

Iamthewombat · 01/06/2021 12:44

Plenty of posters have told the OP that she is ‘un-sisterly’ or similar. If you’re using that argument then you must see that if a woman turns up at the house of a male acquaintance, and the acquaintance’s wife has kindly made lunch and served drinks, the sisterly thing to do would be to at least engage politely?

We don’t know how the men in the group behaved when the OP served lunch, but the OP isn’t being accused of being ‘un-sisterly’ to them, or lacking kindness and empathy towards them, or being envious of them, is she?

4cats4kids · 01/06/2021 12:47

No the men were talking to me, of course they were. They asked about the kids, told me about their kids and were very complimentary about the food, One or two offered to have us over for dinner, this kind of thing. Unlike her, who basically made no eye contact.

And there is no way this woman is suddenly into boxing. The audacity! Pull the other one. If she ever actually turns up there, she must be completely mental. As if.

OP posts:
ohsuzannah · 01/06/2021 12:48

I can see this one ending up in Classics!

UhtredRagnarson · 01/06/2021 12:50

The audacity! 😂

NeedNewKnees · 01/06/2021 12:51

Jesus, she sounds absolutely batshit!

I'd turn up at the next one soley to get a pic of the pompoms to amuse us lot.

Coconuttts · 01/06/2021 12:53

How did she get to know them in the first place?? Did she just follow them one day? Seems unlikely. Someone must have known her first.

chaosmaker · 01/06/2021 12:54

Though she sounds like even if they did tell her to go away that she's one of those people that wouldn't actually hear what they said and keep stalking them anyway.....

DuncinToffee · 01/06/2021 12:55

You are really feeling threatened by this woman

MinorCharacter · 01/06/2021 12:56

@BlokeHereInPeace

It sounds like she has minor mental health issues. As men we mostly avoid confrontation. She was probably in the cafe when they set the WhatsApp group up. Just as *@DeclineandFall* suggests. From knowledge of being a man I'd be very surprised if any of them are banging her.

But she shouldn't have turned up at yours and that is something that needs fixing.

Pray what knowledge of being a man grants you the knowledge of whether any of these men you don’t know is shagging a woman you don’t know?

I mean, I think it’s vanishingly unlikely myself, but that’s from my interpretation of the info the OP has provided, not because of my Woman Knowledge.

Coconuttts · 01/06/2021 12:56

Because if you had a Facebook group, WhatsApp group, whatever, you'd delete and recreate it so she didn't have access and know where you met each time. You'd change everything to throw her off the scent. No one would put up with her like this, surely!

BruceAndNosh · 01/06/2021 13:00

How does she even KNOW about your husbands boxing club?

bpirockin · 01/06/2021 13:00

Definitely a bun chaser.

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 01/06/2021 13:02

The other hobby is motor racing of some sort, isn't it?
That's full of women like the one you're describing. Either Instagram socialite types or motherly ones who like making tea for "their boys", putting plasters on their ouchies and washing their overalls for them.
Both types are almost always shagging (or married to) one of the group involved.

JaneJeffer · 01/06/2021 13:06

I need to see this on telly Grin

UhtredRagnarson · 01/06/2021 13:07

The other hobby is motor racing of some sort, isn't it?

Boxing. Or MMA or some such. They have promo girls that walk around the ring between rounds and stand ringside/cage side dancing.

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 01/06/2021 13:09

I know nothing about boxing or MMA and I think I'm glad about that.

Do love the idea of a middle-aged cheerleader following someone like Anthony Joshua around though.

BelleClapper · 01/06/2021 13:12

She sounds awful and I can see why it would irritate you.

Great thread though.

UhtredRagnarson · 01/06/2021 13:12
Grin
GingerScallop · 01/06/2021 13:25

@bigbadbluewhale So true. Its the typical misogyny isn't it? Same things done by both males and females (and arguably in this case, the men more guilty because they "are all there socially or mentally") but its the woman that draws so much wrath and blame. And the whole thread is a great reminder that misogyny is not exclusive to males

LoisLanyard · 01/06/2021 13:26

My word, this is crazy! I don't have any particular advice, but hopefully her attentions will turn elsewhere soon. I knew someone like this, wasn't exactly the same situation, but we set up a different whatsapp group in the end - subtle hints, not so subtle hints, nothing worked (all whilst trying to be kind, I should add, before anyone accuses me of bullying anyone...).

AnneKipanki · 01/06/2021 13:29

Where is her son when she does all this following around?

LoisLanyard · 01/06/2021 13:30

This is totally ending up in the Daily Mail tomorrow....

AnneKipanki · 01/06/2021 13:34

I see further back you mention he might be 18 . There is no way an 18 year old will turn up at a boxing club with his mum .

mynameisbrian · 01/06/2021 13:38

OP is likely pissed off that this woman didnt get her apron on and help her serve the blokes.

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