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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The “Cycling Send-Off Woman.” What the hell?

813 replies

4cats4kids · 31/05/2021 16:41

Sorry if this sounds petty, but the most terrible woman came to my house yesterday and I still can’t believe the audacity of her. My husband is in a cycling training team and one of the things they do is meet at 7am on a Sunday morning at a cafe and then they go off out of London on their various routes. This has been going on years and they are basically cycling round the world in stages (as part of a larger group).

So apparently, this weekend was “our turn” to do lunch for this lot - a.k.a “my turn” (but don’t worry, I will not be making a habit of it). I was expecting about 8 who are all men, but this atrocious woman turned up in a sports car before them and was sitting on the drive waiting until they came. I thought she must be something to do with nextdoor (shared driveway), but when they showed up on the bikes she came in with them.

My husband was kind of mouthing, “sorry” to me and they all looked embarrassed. Then he tells me, he’s really sorry, but this is “the cycling send-off woman” Confused and today she has followed them in the car. So basically, I have since found out that this nut job of a woman seems to think she is in the cycling team and turns up at the crack of dawn when they meet and in all weathers, though she never actually cycles with them. Apparently, she always says she will join them one day, but never does. She doesn’t even have the right kind of bike, her bike is apparently more a shopping bike with streamers on the handlebars like a 4 year-old! Once she did cycle with them, but only for about a mile as she couldn’t keep up. She wears really short shorts and brings them all muffins and god knows what apparently at 7am Hmm. DH says they never eat them. Also, she waves pom-poms when they leave. I couldn’t believe it. I asked my husband why he’s never mentioned her before and I said it’s fairly obvious why she’s showing up. He just said they don’t know why she comes and they all think she’s mad. On this day, she had driven to some other cafe where they stop in Surrey because it was a nice day and she fancied the drive. Then she took it upon herself to turn up for lunch because she thinks she’s in the cycling club!

She is like something from Ab Fab and really loud. They were in the garden and there I was, backwards and forwards, while she was going on about how she’s just bought a Zwift, but she can’t seem to get it set up, so could any of them come over to her house and set it up for her (nobody offered and it was very awkward). I also heard her tell my husband (loudly) that she’d really like to bring her son to his boxing club and maybe he could he train them both? It was so very strange. As if! Also, she wasn’t exactly making an effort to talk to me. How rude. I have never come across a woman like this in my life. She is late 40s - who behaves like this?

AIBU to be annoyed that this happened at all? My husband has apologised but seems to think it’s a joke. He doesn’t get it at all. These men are late 40s and collectively, should be able to get rid of this lunatic. He says it’s a public cafe and there’s lots of people there and they can’t really stop her. Well, just find a different place to meet then!

OP posts:
Annabellerina · 31/05/2021 22:23

I used to know a woman who was absolutely convinced that she was meant to be with Guy Martin and turned up everywhere he went, approached him to chat to him as if she knew him well, sent him flowers, went to his house. She was later sectioned.

Lollyneenah · 31/05/2021 22:32

Seems to be rather a lot of 'beckys' Grin little minx's the lot of 'em!

CoraPirbright · 31/05/2021 22:38

Do you know the other wives OP? Willing to bet that they would also be a bit put out by this woman!

Changechangychange · 31/05/2021 22:41

@4cats4kids

If I was to describe her, she has a slight look of Joanna Lumley. She’s a little older - late 40s, maybe even 50’s, it’s hard to tell.
Joanna Lumley is 75! This woman is not “a little older” than her if she is 40s/50s Hmm
Changechangychange · 31/05/2021 22:45

@CandyLeBonBon

Sorry *@Cakeofdoom* but bassists are the undiscovered country imho Grin
Try being a DJ’s wife! You have to elbow your way past the groupies, and the fucking fanboys who want to interrupt his set to ask about the records as well! Grin
Changechangychange · 31/05/2021 22:51

“Anyway, mad becky made some very mistimed and mistaken 'overtures' at one of the chaps during one of her barbecues, and the chaps wife went batshit crazy and pushed mad beckys car into the marina.”

There you go, OP. Let the handbrake of Pompom’s car off at the top of Box Hill Grin

This thread is gold. Can we nominate it for classics?

MissMogwai · 31/05/2021 23:00

@TheCreationOfDistance

I haven’t RTFT (groan, I know!) but she brings to mind Cha Cha DeGregorio from Grease Shen she took out “a lock of hair. FROM HER CHEST” at the start of the Thunder Rd race, and waved them off with her scarf 🤣

Cha Cha De Pompomrio

You have my sympathies!

😂😂 "from her chest" love that line
CandyLeBonBon · 31/05/2021 23:02

Haha @Changechangychange I photograph bands as part of my job! I feel your pain although most DJs I've ever met are usually their own biggest fans!!

CandyLeBonBon · 31/05/2021 23:03

@Lollyneenah

Seems to be rather a lot of 'beckys' Grin little minx's the lot of 'em!
It's all very 'vanity fair'!
CovoidOfAllHumanity · 31/05/2021 23:04

My DH is in a pub blues band with a bunch of other 40 to 50 something ageing rockers. Clearly I love him and admire him and think he is very talented but JLS they are not

I was therefore very surprised to find that they have groupies! They have a little gang of older ladies who go to literally all their gigs (pre-lockdown). They even had T shirts printed. It is quite bizarre

ScreamingBeans · 31/05/2021 23:05

@EsmaCannonball

Is there one of the men who looks like he eats a load of muffins despite all the cycling?
Grin Grin Grin
mathanxiety · 31/05/2021 23:07

I think it's very clear that at least one member of the team is, ehem, appreciating her pom poms and her muffins...

DblEspresso · 31/05/2021 23:14

This sounds crazy and not harmless. Are you sure everyone in the cycling club is not shagging her?

UhtredRagnarson · 31/05/2021 23:25

I have entertained DH’s work colleagues and all sorts on many occasions and some of these are occasionally women

Those darn occasional women! Grin

DrSbaitso · 31/05/2021 23:25

@DblEspresso

This sounds crazy and not harmless. Are you sure everyone in the cycling club is not shagging her?
I honestly think this is very unlikely.
blacksax · 31/05/2021 23:34

@CovoidOfAllHumanity

My DH is in a pub blues band with a bunch of other 40 to 50 something ageing rockers. Clearly I love him and admire him and think he is very talented but JLS they are not

I was therefore very surprised to find that they have groupies! They have a little gang of older ladies who go to literally all their gigs (pre-lockdown). They even had T shirts printed. It is quite bizarre

Oh my - there's a lot of it about, isn't there?

Still, they dance about enjoying themselves, and spend a lot of money at the bar, which makes the landlord happy.

ScreamingBeans · 31/05/2021 23:38

OK she sounds a bit mad but your hostility to her is bemusing.

It sounds to me like you're offended wiht her because she didn't offer to help you do the waitressing for the lunch. She aligned herself with the waited upon when her proper status was the waiting staff.

Either that or your spidey senses are screaming at you that she's shagging someone in that cycling team. And you may not be worried that it's your DH but you're slightly Hmm about the fact that he's never mentioned her. It reeks of "what happens on tour stays on tour" and that's never good for those who weren't on the tour.

overnightangel · 31/05/2021 23:40

I wonder how many women’s lives have improved after marrying a cyclist or having a husband who takes up cycling

Wrenna · 31/05/2021 23:46

Yes. The guys are flattered.

hollieberrie · 31/05/2021 23:49

I bloody love this thread
Especially the tale of mad Becky Grin

FrangipaniBlue · 31/05/2021 23:50

@ACPC

PomPom Zilla

,

Bravo, bravo 👏🏼
CovoidOfAllHumanity · 31/05/2021 23:50

I suppose at least a band are supposed to have spectators as opposed to a cycling club where it is even more odd

DH and his band mates are quite flattered by their groupies but in a musical kind of way (someone appreciates our amazing talent) as opposed to thinking they want to shag them. He did tell me about it before I met them too so it's not a secret. I think it's kind of bemusing but very harmless.

Everyone's gotta have a hobby eh?
MAMIL cheer leading. It could catch on!
Imagine a whole troupe shaking their muffins at every ride.
Give us an M..

RubyFowler · 31/05/2021 23:53

I think it started off innocently enough and now they can't get rid of her.
Clearly there are some women out there developing an interest in choirs or yachting clubs and she's one of these.
I do think she was quite rude in your house though, but I'm not sure if it would have been any better if she was a cyclist?
Do you think she is trying to bag one of them OP? Was she flirting etc or is she just a bit.....weird?

FrangipaniBlue · 31/05/2021 23:53

@CuriousaboutSamphire

Ooh! A MAMIL groupie.

Out running club has one, a bloke. He turns up at the Sunday run meets, waves them all off and then joins them for breakfast... sort of off to one side, close but not quite with.

Nobody is quite sure who he is but he has cheered them off at 7am on Sunday for as long as many can remember. He was back for their first post lockdown run.

See I think this is quite sweet, possibly because it's a more public place and a larger group?

Pom Pom Zilla rocking up at peoples houses to wave off 8 blokes is just plain weird.

RubyFowler · 31/05/2021 23:55

@Lollyneenah

Me ex was in a yaughting group that had a woman like this. Her nickname was 'mad becky' and she was obsessed with them. Turned up at every event, threw bbqs for them etc. No one could remember how or when she had infiltrated the group Grin She was about 10 years older than everyone, didn't sail and turned up with boom boxes to play music for them as they left the shore, perfectly normal in every other aspect of her life, had a boyfriend and professional job, nice house etc

Anyway, mad becky made some very mistimed and mistaken 'overtures' at one of the chaps during one of her barbecues, and the chaps wife went batshit crazy and pushed mad beckys car into the marina.

Distinctly unhelpful but yeeeaaaah she's after your bloke. Sorry OP Grin

I hope you tell this story in awkward lulls at dinner parties. Its got everything.
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