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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The “Cycling Send-Off Woman.” What the hell?

813 replies

4cats4kids · 31/05/2021 16:41

Sorry if this sounds petty, but the most terrible woman came to my house yesterday and I still can’t believe the audacity of her. My husband is in a cycling training team and one of the things they do is meet at 7am on a Sunday morning at a cafe and then they go off out of London on their various routes. This has been going on years and they are basically cycling round the world in stages (as part of a larger group).

So apparently, this weekend was “our turn” to do lunch for this lot - a.k.a “my turn” (but don’t worry, I will not be making a habit of it). I was expecting about 8 who are all men, but this atrocious woman turned up in a sports car before them and was sitting on the drive waiting until they came. I thought she must be something to do with nextdoor (shared driveway), but when they showed up on the bikes she came in with them.

My husband was kind of mouthing, “sorry” to me and they all looked embarrassed. Then he tells me, he’s really sorry, but this is “the cycling send-off woman” Confused and today she has followed them in the car. So basically, I have since found out that this nut job of a woman seems to think she is in the cycling team and turns up at the crack of dawn when they meet and in all weathers, though she never actually cycles with them. Apparently, she always says she will join them one day, but never does. She doesn’t even have the right kind of bike, her bike is apparently more a shopping bike with streamers on the handlebars like a 4 year-old! Once she did cycle with them, but only for about a mile as she couldn’t keep up. She wears really short shorts and brings them all muffins and god knows what apparently at 7am Hmm. DH says they never eat them. Also, she waves pom-poms when they leave. I couldn’t believe it. I asked my husband why he’s never mentioned her before and I said it’s fairly obvious why she’s showing up. He just said they don’t know why she comes and they all think she’s mad. On this day, she had driven to some other cafe where they stop in Surrey because it was a nice day and she fancied the drive. Then she took it upon herself to turn up for lunch because she thinks she’s in the cycling club!

She is like something from Ab Fab and really loud. They were in the garden and there I was, backwards and forwards, while she was going on about how she’s just bought a Zwift, but she can’t seem to get it set up, so could any of them come over to her house and set it up for her (nobody offered and it was very awkward). I also heard her tell my husband (loudly) that she’d really like to bring her son to his boxing club and maybe he could he train them both? It was so very strange. As if! Also, she wasn’t exactly making an effort to talk to me. How rude. I have never come across a woman like this in my life. She is late 40s - who behaves like this?

AIBU to be annoyed that this happened at all? My husband has apologised but seems to think it’s a joke. He doesn’t get it at all. These men are late 40s and collectively, should be able to get rid of this lunatic. He says it’s a public cafe and there’s lots of people there and they can’t really stop her. Well, just find a different place to meet then!

OP posts:
FrangipaniBlue · 01/06/2021 00:00

@Maireas

"my muffins bring all the MAMILS to the yard"
Oh god stop it ☺️
ThisMammaCat · 01/06/2021 00:07

As a PP said, the pom pom lady could be in the WA group due to initially joining in with the cycling, then she decided to stay in the group to support them with muffins and cheerleading because none of them hit on her, and maybe that was refreshing. Maybe most of her experiences with socialising have involved women thinking the worst of her, and men objectifying her, which would explain her support of the group and her coldness towards OP.

I have no opinion regarding how she was dressed. People can wear whatever they like and not be judged on that unless they are wearing the skins of their enemies.

greyinganddecaying · 01/06/2021 00:11

I used to know a man who organised regular weekends away (like camping) for groups of people.

Every time we went away, a woman would also turn up. The organiser was really scathing about her, said she was mentally unstable, a stalker, a pest, etc. Said he'd told her not to show up, but she kept appearing. Other people believed him and were quite unfriendly towards her, but she kept turning up.

Years later we find out that he'd been shagging her for years, he kept inviting her so he could get his leg over (despite having a wife and kids) and was just trying to put everyone else off the scent.

I'm reluctant to believe any man who paints a picture of a woman like this ever since.

ThisMammaCat · 01/06/2021 00:11

@Lollyneenah

Me ex was in a yaughting group that had a woman like this. Her nickname was 'mad becky' and she was obsessed with them. Turned up at every event, threw bbqs for them etc. No one could remember how or when she had infiltrated the group Grin She was about 10 years older than everyone, didn't sail and turned up with boom boxes to play music for them as they left the shore, perfectly normal in every other aspect of her life, had a boyfriend and professional job, nice house etc

Anyway, mad becky made some very mistimed and mistaken 'overtures' at one of the chaps during one of her barbecues, and the chaps wife went batshit crazy and pushed mad beckys car into the marina.

Distinctly unhelpful but yeeeaaaah she's after your bloke. Sorry OP Grin

This had me like ShockGrin I wonder if "mad Becky" learned from that experience Grin
NeverDropYourMoonCup · 01/06/2021 00:12

Mine is Leave Me Alone/I know what I'm doing.

Too many gigs where I was accused of being after the lead twat/guitarist by his girlfriend because I spoke to him. Yes. I did. I was telling him we were back on in five. And men telling me I shouldn't stand there because the sound man will be mad when he gets back if I touch anything.

UserX · 01/06/2021 00:14

I actually know someone who would do this & also fits the description well but she doesn’t have a car. It takes all sorts.

Am more interested in the lunches, am amazed that there are still men out there who believe women enjoy waiting on them hand and foot. Think the whole lot of them behaved abysmally in expecting that, not just pompom lady. What a bunch of entitled creeps.

MessedOfTimes · 01/06/2021 00:15

Perhaps she had a fling/one night stand with one of the members, and things have taken an obsessive/misguided turn on her part 🤷🏻‍♀️

CovoidOfAllHumanity · 01/06/2021 00:23

I don't see the making lunch as a huge deal. DH's band did some practices outside in each other's gardens in lockdown (all acoustic and with neighbour's permission) and I didn't mind providing some food and beers when it was our turn despite them being firmly his mates and not mine.
I ate some food too and hung around a bit but then I beat a hasty retreat because in all honestly an depth discussion of 12 bar blues riffs and the merits of various PA systems is not hugely appealing to me
I wouldn't fancy doing it on a regular basis but if it's just occasionally I see it as being supportive to DH rather than some kind of abusive servitude.

MissTrip82 · 01/06/2021 00:34

These men are getting something from her presence. Very very easy to remove her from a what’s app group, change the usual venue, not tell her the home address of a member when they’re all going to his place for lunch......

It really, really couldn’t be easier to get rid of her. They don’t want to.

Same with ‘mad Becky’ which is not a story that makes any of the guys involved look like decent human beings BTW.

It’s actually really sad that a group of men will happily mock someone at every turn whilst failing to find the balls to simply remove them from the group.

Doubletrouble99 · 01/06/2021 00:54

Reading this has made me realise my Autistic DD could do this when she is older. She's 16 at the moment and get herself into trouble with different gamers when she joins their parties, especially her big brother's friends parties!! Oh dear.

BigHeadBertha · 01/06/2021 01:08

Good points I think, MissTrip82 and Doubletrouble99.

eekbumbler · 01/06/2021 01:46

They're all shagging her.

eekbumbler · 01/06/2021 01:50

Or want to.

They can easily ditch her but I suspect she is eye candy and if one isn't shagging her then the other one is.

lollipoprainbow · 01/06/2021 02:10

Tell her to take her pom-poms and muffins and chuff off !!

Susannahmoody · 01/06/2021 02:31

Do they actually know this woman though?

Susannahmoody · 01/06/2021 02:34

Howling at muffins bring mamils to the yard Grin

Susannahmoody · 01/06/2021 02:38

She sounds like Dorian out of birds of a feather

BlackSwan · 01/06/2021 02:46

These men must be bewildered by her attention, but they're clearly getting something out of it.

When I ask my husband where he's going riding - I'm never actually bothered to tune into the answer. I could never pull off this level of interest.

Ophanim · 01/06/2021 03:01

She refers to the cyclist group as “my boys” doesn’t she?

Embracingthechaos · 01/06/2021 04:17

I'm sorry OP, but this is very funny. It's absurd.

I appreciate that it's not as funny for you when it's your own life and she's turned up at your house. It sounds to me like she is unbelievably insecure and lonely. I'm not suggesting that you should feel sorry for her (and I wouldn't if I were you) but at least it should give you some perspective. She is embarrassing herself and it's very pathetic.

Embracingthechaos · 01/06/2021 04:17

Also... It's bullshit that no one ate her muffins. I don't believe that for one second.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 01/06/2021 05:52

@duodunical

She's a bit like Joanna Lumley you say OP, I've never met a man of any age who didn't fancy her. Blimey.
That's a joke, right?
ContinuousMonotoneBeep · 01/06/2021 06:03

What the actual heck. My comment from last night has been deleted. No clue why.

That's a first, not a post deleted before. Feel like some sort of delinquent except I don't know in what way.

How odd!!

TheChiefJo · 01/06/2021 06:12

@Embracingthechaos

Also... It's bullshit that no one ate her muffins. I don't believe that for one second.
Yeah. Those muffins are being eaten. At the very least.
BlueLobelia · 01/06/2021 06:21

We used to have a lady who would turn up at all the weddings in our village and watch and wave and throw streamers. That was rather nice.

except when DH and I got married and then went on our honeymoon and she waved us off .... at Heathrow. Which is a 2 hour drive away from where we live.

Neither of us knew her name and I have no idea how she knew where and when we were going away.

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